Literal unironic recreational nukes

An entire class of nuclear weapons was abolished in 1987. Why did all that nuclear material have to go to waste? It could have been detonated in the world's greatest ever fireworks display to celebrate the end of the Cold War.
>inb4 too dangerous
The Nevada test site was so close to Vegas you could see the mushroom clouds from the city. Hotel rooms with a view commanded premium prices.
>inb4 it will never happen again
Recent events in Ukraine indicate we will be living in another period of tense nuclear stand-off. If we manage not to blow each other up we will have the opportunity to succeed where boomers failed - detonate nuclear weapons just for fun.
>why make this thread?
I want to put the idea in the minds of as many people as I can. One of you might just one day be in a position to suggest it to a president, admiral or diplomat. When that day comes, please remember this thread and do it for /k/.

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  1. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Every day, I am staggered anew by the idiocy of this board. Nukes should only be used for practical purposes, like mining, fishing, or urban renewal.

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      If you want a really practical use, they could propel spacecraft. There was a working plan for this, but all the decision makers just decided to waste them.

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        Hear me out. Explode nook in super duty hueg shaped chamber to direct thrust as well as using the kinetic shove to move a piston, which would be used as a giant combustion engine for separate thrusters. I call it the tripple-whammy drive.

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      >Nukes should only be used for practical purposes
      You sound like Fudd who gets hawty over someone mag dumping a glock down rhe range or restricts people to have 2 mags a gun.

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        you're just a kid who thinks he knows everything because he watches some manchild nuketubers. No civilian needs more than one or two hunting nukes.

        Oh, you're gonna fight the government? That's adorable. They have F-16s and tanks. Your little nuclear arsenal isn't going to help.

        • 2 months ago
          Anonymous

          Bet a boomer like you doesn't even use Americium cores because "Uranium did it right the first time"

          • 2 months ago
            Anonymous

            I bet you listen to that nuke rap "music".

            ?t=94

        • 2 months ago
          Anonymous

          You boomers will have to pull my Boeing-Avro-CAC-Arsenal Enhanced Radiation 6969 “Demon c**t” Grenades(tm) with Depleted-Plutonium Fragmentation Sleeves from my cold, sloughing fingers you nuke grabbing LibCommieNaziTards!

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        mag dumping is fun as frick but only when I do it

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      If a Japanese cult can build and detonate their own off the south coast of Japan why can't I!?

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        >If a Japanese cult can build and detonate their own off the south coast of Japan
        huh? story?

        • 2 months ago
          Anonymous

          >2016+8
          >not knowing about the nuclear jap death cult testing nukes in Australia and doing gas attacks in Japan
          ngmi

        • 2 months ago
          Anonymous

          Aum Shinrikyo. They owned land with known uranium deposists and stationed former soviet nuclear scientists to undergo weapon development. There was a seismic event not far off from this facility which has never been formerly identified, but the evidence seems to strongly indicate a nuclear test. People often overlook this disturbing piece of information which makes sense when you consider the idea that a non-goverment body could achieve nuclear terrorism. It is in the international interest to not shed too much light on such a feat.

          • 2 months ago
            Anonymous

            300% fake and gay bullshit. If the Shinrinkyo cult built and tested a fricking nuke there was no reason for them to settle for a botched gas attack on the Tokyo subway in order to kick off whatever their version of the apocalypse was supposed to be.

            • 2 months ago
              Anonymous

              This may come off as a shock to you anon, but nukes are very labor intensive. Just because they detonated one didn't mean they had another ready. It may also be a shock to you to kearn they actually never intended to do the subway attacks orignally and were instead force to act early when they found out that the Japanese police force and intelligence agency were about to mount investigations and raids on their compounds. It may also be a shock you that they had close toes with the newly forming Russian Republic and were aquiring a shit ton of military hardware and scientists to help with their weapon development.

              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous

                >kearn
                >toes
                I need to stop phone posting and get a usb type c keyboard kek

              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous

                My brother in Christ just get one that's Bluetooth, PrepHole isn't meant to be emulated.
                Ps I'd consider it acceptable to detonate one(1) on an important holiday, preferably Fourth of July.

              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous

                Nta, but this comes as a shock to me! Close toes? Fricking degenerates!

              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous

                They didn't detonate a nuke. Soil samples had trace uranium but not fission or fusion products. It simply looked like they may have.

              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous

                >Soil samples had trace uranium
                So they were making a dirty bomb?

              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous

                >They owned land with known uranium deposists
                Or, you know, maybe it's just that

              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous

                >shit ton of military hardware

                Literally one AK-74 and one Mi-17 transport helicopter.

            • 2 months ago
              Anonymous

              The subway attack was because they were going to be raided wasn't it, they had cult members in the police force who tipped them off? Been a long time since I read up on that lot.

          • 2 months ago
            Anonymous

            >formerly
            well i'm convinced

          • 2 months ago
            Anonymous

            >There was a seismic event not far off from this facility
            In Japan? How odd, that's not one of the most seismically active places in the world, right? Must be a nuke.

            • 2 months ago
              Anonymous

              wasn't the facility in Australia

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      >urban renewal
      Based

      https://i.imgur.com/qDGbhWo.jpg

      If you want a really practical use, they could propel spacecraft. There was a working plan for this, but all the decision makers just decided to waste them.

      Nuclear pulse propulsion is the only practical design for an interstellar craft that humans have right now.

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        >NPPR
        NSWR

        • 2 months ago
          Anonymous

          Just looked that up.
          >Nuclear salt-water rocket
          The name alone makes me want one.

          • 2 months ago
            Anonymous

            fricking love Dr. Zubrin
            anything that can charitably be described as a "chernobyl drive" gets a thumbs up in my book

            • 2 months ago
              Anonymous

              And a magsail for tacking into the solar wind!

              • 2 months ago
                Anonymous

                How big would it have to be? I've heard the idea before but never looked much into how realistic it is.

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      >mining
      Is this actually possible? Like if you knew the precise location and depth of an ore deposit could you just detonate a nuke and then collect the rubble for processing?

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        I'm just guessing here, but my first thought would be frick no and you're a moron

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        it's possible, but the question is "is it more profitable than traditional blasting" and the answer is an emphatic no. it's almost always smarter to use lots of smaller explosions than one big explosion, no matter what you're doing.

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      >Nukes should only be used for practical purposes, like fishing
      Sounds dope

  2. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    can't you just detonate a huge pile of high explosives, why does it have to be nuclear?

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      They don't make the nice mushroom clouds like fission-grade or thermonuclear warheads. Looking at them like pic rel makes me feel a tinge of ego death imagining the sheer scale and beauty of such a cloud up close. I am not even being ironic when I say this, but I do hope someday that I will be able to witness one at night. Preferably a test detonation when the test treaties get scrapped.

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        Same. I want to see one so bad.

  3. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    >Sedan nuclear test, 1962
    >Sedan's fallout contamination contributed a little under 7% to the total amount of radiation which fell on the US population during all of the nuclear tests at NTS

    Obviously that's about the worst case for a nuclear explosion, but they all create fallout/radioactive material that spreads and circulates in the atmosphere. I don't care if my chances of getting cancer are only .05%, how bout we don't increase the chances of getting cancer by any percent, unless it's absolutely worth it? you know, like to win a war, not just for fun

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      Nuclear tests pollute the atmosphere with radioactive waste. The cessation of above ground nuke tests have actually lowered the radioactive pollutant levels enough that we don't need pre-1945 steel anymore for sensitive equipment.

      Just stick to air bursts. The higher the altitude of detonation the less fallout you get. Air bursts are clean and environmentally friendly.
      The blast overpressure radius will be larger, so you have to compensate by clearing a larger area and standing back further. The obvious choice would be to do it at sea or over an empty island. Cruise ship operators could then take people to a safe watching distance.

      >nuclear material is being wasted, and not repurposed
      tard detected

      This. Wasn't the demon core famously responsible for multiple incidents, not just the screwdriver incident that killed several people? iIRC refined nuclear material is still refined nuclear material even if you're using it for quasi-suicide in a lab.

      >This. Wasn't the demon core famously responsible for multiple incidents, not just the screwdriver incident that killed several people?
      Correct.

      Dicking around in a lab with the screwdriver of death is not useful repurposing. Safe fun fireworks are.

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        Why not just do it directly over the crowd? It's been done before: https://youtu.be/fAHHr0HsBgI

  4. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    >nuclear material is being wasted, and not repurposed
    tard detected

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      This. Wasn't the demon core famously responsible for multiple incidents, not just the screwdriver incident that killed several people? iIRC refined nuclear material is still refined nuclear material even if you're using it for quasi-suicide in a lab.

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        >This. Wasn't the demon core famously responsible for multiple incidents, not just the screwdriver incident that killed several people?
        Correct.

  5. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Nuclear tests pollute the atmosphere with radioactive waste. The cessation of above ground nuke tests have actually lowered the radioactive pollutant levels enough that we don't need pre-1945 steel anymore for sensitive equipment.

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      >The cessation of above ground nuke tests have actually lowered the radioactive pollutant levels enough that we don't need pre-1945 steel anymore for sensitive equipment.
      That's actually false. We don't need pre-1945 steel for sensitive equipment because we can now produce low-background steel in controlled conditions. We can now also correct for background radiation, so normal steel can also be used. The anthropogenic background radiation is still present.

  6. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Are nukes considered nu-fun?

  7. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    >The Nevada test site was so close to Vegas you could see the mushroom clouds from the city.
    This should tell you all you need to know about the whole shenanigan - they can't even keep their stories about muh ultimate weapon straight; they inevitably start to contradict themselves like perps under cross-examination.

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      >This should tell you all you need to know about the whole shenanigan - they can't even keep their stories about muh ultimate weapon straight; they inevitably start to contradict themselves like perps under cross-examination.
      Go back to /x/, moron

  8. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    99% of people cannot afford to maintain or store nuclear weapons properly. same with most explosives. this is why im honestly ok with them being restricted.

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      >He can't afford to refill his tritium at the local nuke store

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        >nuke store
        I want this to be real like you wouldn't believe.

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      Power companies can store fissile material for nuclear reactors. Why shouldn't an entertainment company store weapons grade fissile material for shows? If you can pass the proper background checks and you have competent staff there should be no problem.

      >An entire class of nuclear weapons was abolished in 1987

      Are you talking about The Intermediate-range Nuclear Forces Treaty? Well, you should turn your nuclear from upside down, because it is back on the menu.

      I know, that's what this thread is about. There will probably be another 3 to 5 decade arms race and lots of cool hypersonic stuff will be developed. Then there will be a new treaty and the great arsenals will be decommissioned before we ever got to see what they could do.
      I'll be old by then, but just maybe some zoomer will read this who will then go on to have a successful military or civil service career. Just maybe that zoomer will be in the room when the discussion takes place and he can pitch the idea of nuclear fireworks displays as a celebration of peace and a morale boost.
      If there's even a 0.001% chance this can happen I'm willing to spend some time proliferating the "nukes for fun" meme.

  9. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    >An entire class of nuclear weapons was abolished in 1987

    Are you talking about The Intermediate-range Nuclear Forces Treaty? Well, you should turn your nuclear from upside down, because it is back on the menu.

  10. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Everyone knows nukes aren't real

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      what do you think the Japanese experienced at Hiroshima or Nagasaki then?

  11. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Its kind of an open secret that every open-air nuclear test spikes cancer rates and genetic damage significantly. Cold war posturing basically shortened max life expectancy 10 to 20 years and is responsible for the autism epidemic. Whats worse is the radiation hazard is still bio-accumulating up the food chain and becoming much more concentrated in livestock and animals humans eat and there's no way to ever fully cleanse it from the ecosystem.

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      >Cold war posturing basically shortened max life expectancy 10 to 20 years and is responsible for the autism epidemic.
      Can you back those claims up, m8?

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        The evidence is classified to limit legal liability, like the cancer rates for those burn pits in Iraq. There's a need to keep open the possibility of future nuclear tests as well so basically they will never acknowledge it. The atmosphere is so contaminated with radiation that China is mining old navy wrecks for non-radioactive steel but I'm sure all our fragile human DNA is perfectly fine and not accumulating more and more replication errors every generation lmao

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      >there's no way to ever fully cleanse it from the ecosystem

      Literally just wait bro. It cleans itself over time.

  12. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    We could get them all together, have a big blast and a small nuclear winter should get rid of all that global warming problem in one stroke.

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      I was thinking the opposite. Break them up into lots of very small nukes and have the launch times calculated so the explosions form the percussion section of Ode to Joy. The tonal parts would be played on tuned guns of course.

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        small nukes are much much dirtier

        • 2 months ago
          Anonymous

          Good point. So you'd want conventional fireworks with a really massive nuke at the end as a finale. Is there anything you can add to enhance the color of the mushroom cloud?

  13. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    what a shame to live and die without ever witnessing one

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      Don't remind me Anon.

      Why not just do it directly over the crowd? It's been done before: https://youtu.be/fAHHr0HsBgI

      Really high altitude detonations can interfere with satellites (and they don't make that distinctive mushroom cloud). Too low and you'd be dangerously close to the crowd. Not sure if there's an acceptable middle ground. In any case as long as it's safe I'd pay to see it.

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