Letters of last resort

>The letters of last resort are four identically-worded handwritten letters from the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom to the commanding officers of the four British ballistic missile submarines.
>They contain orders on what action to take if an enemy nuclear strike has destroyed the British government
You are the commanding officer of one of these submarines. After a series of checks it has been determined that the letter should be opened. It has been reported that the prime minister is given four options when writing the letter:
>put yourself under the command of the US, if it is still there
>go to australia
>retaliate
>use your own judgement
What does your letter say commander?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Letters_of_last_resort

  1. 1 month ago
    Anonymous
  2. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Be a good chap and send your birds to the Jerries, for old times' sake.

  3. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >don't ally with australia, just go there
    Why is this so funny?

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >place the submarine under an allied country's command, if possible. The documentary mentions Australia and the United States.
      It's not actually written like that, but if it were, I assume it's because Australia would have large chunks of it un-nuked. Or perhaps not touched at all, seeing as it does not have a nuclear arsenal of its own.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        >The Guardian reported in 2016 that the options are said to include: "Put yourself under the command of the US, if it is still there", "Go to Australia"
        Juxtaposed with the part about the US it kind of seemed like it, but I agree thats probably not the intent or even what the actual letters say.

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          >announce 'I am under US authority now.'
          >refuse to elaborate
          >leave (for Australia)

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        I feel like Pine Gap and similar facilities would be targets in a nuclear exchange.

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          >I feel like Pine Gap and similar facilities would be targets in a nuclear exchange.
          Lucky for us then that Pine Gap is quite literally in the middle of nowhere and is about as remote as an intelligence facility can get without being in Greenland, Antarctica, or not on this planet.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        Nukes are targeted with military efficacy in mind, not "point our nukes at their nukes".

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          t. Virginius Nopussybottomsworth VII, nuclear warfare expert and reputed armchair generallisimo.

  4. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >use your own judgement
    what the fuck m8 that's no kind of order at all

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous
    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      The captain of a nuke sub is probably more informed as to whats a good option than the average PM anyway

  5. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >use your own judgement
    if the letter of last resort is being read we are by definition in the immediate post-apocolypse, so hoist the jolly roger and begin nuclear blackmail for personal gain, every crew member gets a share

  6. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Choose whatever course of action is calculated to kill as many enemy civilians as possible, with the lowest chance of ever recovering. Bonus points if it causes a slower, more painful genocide.

  7. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Nuke Germany so Europe has a chance of rebuilding itself.

  8. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Considering no one else knows about the content of the letter and no one will ever double check, couldn't the commander lie about its content?

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Well obviously but it’s assumed they are complete wankers

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        Aren’t lel

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        >Well obviously but it’s assumed they are complete wankers
        is just "whatever you do, make it funny"

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          I mean if it was humanities last act, going out on a joke would be perfect

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            >humanities last act is british humor

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Of coursh.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        Considering no one else knows about the content of the letter and no one will ever double check, couldn't the commander lie about its content?

  9. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >own judgement
    Glass straya it is then.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >glass Australia
      >nothing changes

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        >let's try on these nuclear apocalypse goggles
        >it's an improvement

  10. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >What does your letter say commander?
    A nation that can't maintain a chain of command in the event of a nuclear war shouldn't have nuclear weapons to begin with, set the crew into life boats and scuttle the ship in the deepest water possible.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >dumping nukes into the ocean
      Christ I’m glad the most you’ll probably be commanding is a gas station with that IQ

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      I stage a mutiny against this captain and launch all our weapons at Three Gorges Dam. Then I fire him out of a torpedo tube.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        Not sure you can aim those missiles; you just get code groups for preplanned targets.

  11. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >handwritten
    >2022 handwriting
    Imagine opening one of these and it's a combination of an incomprehensible doctor's note and something an 8 year old wrote.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Or, better yet, nobody on the sub can read the PM's cursive.
      > might as well be moon runes

  12. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Nuke Israel

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      It took too many posts for k to give this, the correct answer.

  13. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >"N"

  14. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Send all my nukes to the British government just to make sure the job was finished

  15. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Ruthenia Delenda Est

  16. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    With a shaky hand, you grasp the envelope.
    You still can't believe this day has finally happened. Were there to be any historians left in future able to look back upon this moment with the benefit of hindsight, the outcome would have been obvious. The final straw had come once the complete blockade of all banan towards the former Russian Federation had proven a pontoon bridge too far. The monkey finally snapped, armafag's apeageddon was finally upon us all. Still, you knew your duty as Captain of the HMS Vengeance. Taking a quick calming breath, you will your hands to cease shaking just long enough to slit the envelope open. Inside you found the finest of parchment every produced in her Majesty's great kingdom, open which was written in immaculate flowing calligraphy were but four words: "morons tongue my anus".

  17. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    How is the food on a British submarine

  18. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Word around the campfire is that one method RN uses to determine if UK still exists is to listen for BBC4.
    > if Auntie Beeb isn't broadcasting, country is done
    > let the missiles fly!

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