Weeeell I don' know bout any of that biiiig city stuff but her- *COUGH COUGH* here in the country we *COUGH* we do things a lil differently than you do in the big ci- *Fuckin dies of tuberculosis*
I hear them Baguette munchers are cooking up a new version of gunpowder. S'posed to be way more powerful with less smoke. 'Parently they put nitroglisterin in it or some such, makes it impossible to shoot out of anything that isn’t built for it. Reckon it's some kind of joke on their part, nobody would ditch their venerable six shooter for such a thing
Ya'll heard'a the scrap they're having out east in the town of Uke? 'Erd them funny speakin' fellas, pale as snow's been riding them horses inta town shootin' up men and buttfuckin em
Good day fellow esteemed gentlemen! It seems I've encountered somewhat of a conundrum and I'm writing seeking advise from experts on the subject.
A fortnight ago, the local Hebrew and purveyor general goods offered to sell to me two pistols of distinctly different character.
One of these is a French Guycot repeating chain pistol capable of firing an astounding 40 shots before needing to be reloaded, however the caliber is small and so is the powder charge thus the pistol would likely not have a stellar wounding capabilities.
The other was a 44 caliber Colt revolver of the Texas variety, a model renowned for its immense power yet it only holds 6 shots.
Both pistols are of similar scale and are offered at a similar price.
I have found myself unable to decide which of the two would be best suited for defending my person from and Indian war bands, Mexican bandits, and scorned mistresses seeking retribution for being afflicted by the Spanish pox.
So I humbly ask you fine gentlemen to provide greater enlightenment upon the issue.
Dictated but not read, Jeremiah "Black hanger" T. Barnes. Head of cattle husbandry, surgeon, executioner, barber, dentist, chief latrine pit digger, and sheriff.
Address personal letters to room 4 of "O'malley's saloon and whorehouse" the leftmost of the three buildings on main street of Schithole Nevada.
well pardner I must say that might your yer town be beset by some great hoard of Mexicans, injuns, or worse yet unscrupulous ladies of the night who might have shown their ankles, I must say that the revolver of the Frenchmen might yet be the finest of options yet must one conceal it from certain unscrupulous individuals or generaly carry it I’d must recommend that you do go with the Texans revolver fine sir.
>cheap land >ready access to the coast >natural beauty all around >not a whole lot of people >very little state wide legislation
Is California the place to be, pardners? It still seems like the place to be, I can't see it falling out of promise unless a whole lotta things go wrong
>Is California the place to be, pardners?
It is! Move to that county they named after oranges, and you'll have land in plenty, plus access to the beach and the railroad. You'll do well farmin' and ranchin' out there. And there's tons of deer and other animals for food. You can't go wrong!
Don't, it full of dem buckteeth chinamen
>Don't, it full of dem buckteeth chinamen
That's only San Francisco. Ain't much up there but chinamen those queer actin' folk.
>ranching sucks >spend what little free time I have getting boozed at the salon >constantly fighting off rustlers and natives >barber was able to yank my bad tooth but fucked up so now life long pain >dick burns when I piss >land owner got fucked by cattle baron >now half the pay >it's hot as piss and everything stinks during the day >it's freezing cold and everything stinks during the night >get stabbed over a poker game >spend days dying >some gay centuries in the future disillusioned with their near utopic life romanticizes being me >tell doc to get the mallet
What ya’ll folks think of them krauts making the teacucks and frogs cross’ the pond seethe? Think this fancy “German Empire” is gonna get’n any wars next century?
That thar German Empire is doin' so well that all their farmin' folk dun got up and left fer Nebraska. They won't have much food to eat come next spring.
>Nebraska? > actually I don’t like cut of your job retard >lops your arm clean off at the wrist with a 9” Bowie then run it through your thyroid
Nothing personal retarded bitch
>be me >at local fencepost wIth bottles lined on top >have to pay a whole fucking nickel for shooting time now >mexicans are loud as fuck and have their tricked out horses with them the whole time >town sheriff gets to shoot for free for some reason yet cant hit a single shot >bar providing bottles hires local prostitute to bother us the whole time >bottle warden keeps getting upset about shooting faster than one round per 10 seconds
Idk why the fuck i even go anymore
Guys, I finally caved and got one of them cheap European double actions and I have to say I'm thinking this is the future. Those S&W and colt DA revolvers just look finicky.
Why, so you can LARP as a rootin tootin lawman? You won't do shit with it. All the Indians have been rounded up on reservations and the outlaw gangs are barely there anymore. You missed the Old West, California has been a state for over 30 years and there are Grandparents there that never knew it as a territory. The Civil War is over, and there will never be another one like it, telegraphs are basically a dead end technology wise, and trains are basically going to displace horses as your main transport. I would be surprised if you're even going to be allowed to own them in 10 years, and good riddance, all that horseshit in the streets and you don't clean it up.
It’s quite the coincidince that you mention horse shit by name, seeing as that’s the majority of your jawin’. > All the Indians have been rounded up on reservations and the outlaw gangs are barely there anymore.
I have the dubious fortune of living near to Fort Robinson, and I’m here to tell you that those Indians may be on the reservation at this moment, but that may very well not be the case come morning. Every few years they get riled up about something and go out causing a fuss. Hell, them bastards stole three of my horses back in ‘79 and damn near shot an arrow up my ass. If I hadn’t had the Winchester right there on the table I wouldn’t be talkin’ to you now. Got two of the sonsabitches, though.
What really rubs me the wrong way is all the educated bastards coming through town wanting to help them Sioux. They come to the store and buy up a whole mess of stuff for those ungrateful sonsabitches, and then have the audacity to say they aren’t treated right. They come off the agency, stir up a whole pot of shit, then run back home and get the government to give them free vittles and all kinds of sundries. They’re right we don’t treat them right, the next time they go on the war path we ought to finish the job Custer started.
> trains are basically going to displace horses as your main transport. I would be surprised if you're even going to be allowed to own them in 10 years.
Please, explain to me who in the hell has the money to get track laid from their homestead to town, let alone to buy a locomotive. Do you know how much a locomotive costs? $10,000. Unless your family name is Vanderbilt, I don’t think you’ll be taking anything but a horse home any time soon.
>living near reservations at all
I'm sorry I live in Florida where we knew how to handle our Indian problem. >I don’t think you’ll be taking anything but a horse home any time soon.
Probably because you don't think ever. The future is obviously electric. They have those new trolleys and they'll be everywhere soon enough. The cost savings alone would be realized by cutting the manure department entirely.
>Florida
I’ll take the Indians over swamp ass > They have those new trolleys and they'll be everywhere soon enough.
And how do you expect me to refill one of them electric trollies? You think people out on the homesteads can afford to have electric run all the way out there? You sound like one of those utopians who thinks everybody’s gonna have a flush shitter in their house in 20 years.
It gets lonely out here in the West. But ever since the gold rush kicked off, every two-bit Kansas City gay came out here looking to strike it rich. Now you can't get rid of 'em. Aw hell, I can't complain, the last woman I saw got carried off by some Modoc Injuns and there ain't too many other gals about.
A cowboy may brag about things that he's done with his women, but he still has urges... and some might be secretly fond of his brother. Some say that's what those saddles and boots are all about. On the other side of the coin, it goes without sayin' that a man who says what other men whisper are usually the first to get shot down dead.
There's many a strange impulse out West.
But once the railroad gets finished up, more women should wander their way out here, because inside every lady, there's a cowboy that wants to come out. Until then, well... what I've learned is that inside every cowboy, there's also a lady that'd love to slip out.
y'all see that Winchester is selling a rifle designed by some Mormon youngin from Utah? Seems he's a bit behind the curve making a single-shot big bore these days with the likes of Lee and Vetterli around, do you think he's got a future in the career or that it's all just hot fuss?
I
FUCKING
HATE
TRAINS
how do i rob a train? someone tell me how, i lost my job to some yankee prick going 35 miles an hour. what gun should i use to rob a train?
>aquire a large collection of rocks no bigger than your hand >either paint them black or cover them in soot >find a job at any old railroad station >slowly start stashing your rocks somewhere in or around the station >when an opportunity presents itself fill the bottom half of a locomotive's coal cart with the rocks then fill the top half with coal (might have to study addition and subtraction at a college to get the ratio just right) >as soon as the train departs get on yer horse, load yer colts, and dawn the biggest shit eating grin the world has ever seen as you break off in a mild canter down the side of the railroad >you'll eventually come across an immobile train which has conveniently stopped exactly halfway between two railroad stations
Ye best be leavin yer guns at the sheriff’s station before wandering the town me boy carrying of pistols and blades be forbidden here
I hate morons! *guns you down and terrorizes the town*
t.
>Enforce gun laws
>Everything gets worse, not better
Yep.
Darn. Them O'Driscoll Boys. Take them out Orthur!
It's okay; I'm a registered Republican, I can do whatever I want.
My wife and daughter were raped and murdered.
>it wasn't rape
Who was there, me or you?
Are ye roundin' up a posse to scalp the injun basterds?
cool it with the anti native remarks buddy
>can't find .38 short for less than 1cpr
it's over, partners
Weeeell I don' know bout any of that biiiig city stuff but her- *COUGH COUGH* here in the country we *COUGH* we do things a lil differently than you do in the big ci- *Fuckin dies of tuberculosis*
"Snifff"....."spits in spatoon"
"Coughs"
I hate morons
he said 1885 not 2023
Singleaction-ladies... our response?
6 years too early for semi auto pistols retard
I loved her pardner
Can you do better than a Winchester centennial model in .45-75? I think not.
>1885
I hear them Baguette munchers are cooking up a new version of gunpowder. S'posed to be way more powerful with less smoke. 'Parently they put nitroglisterin in it or some such, makes it impossible to shoot out of anything that isn’t built for it. Reckon it's some kind of joke on their part, nobody would ditch their venerable six shooter for such a thing
some random hick in the middle of nowhere somehow knowing about a French military top secret is hilarious to me for some reason.
Ya'll heard'a the scrap they're having out east in the town of Uke? 'Erd them funny speakin' fellas, pale as snow's been riding them horses inta town shootin' up men and buttfuckin em
Good day fellow esteemed gentlemen! It seems I've encountered somewhat of a conundrum and I'm writing seeking advise from experts on the subject.
A fortnight ago, the local Hebrew and purveyor general goods offered to sell to me two pistols of distinctly different character.
One of these is a French Guycot repeating chain pistol capable of firing an astounding 40 shots before needing to be reloaded, however the caliber is small and so is the powder charge thus the pistol would likely not have a stellar wounding capabilities.
The other was a 44 caliber Colt revolver of the Texas variety, a model renowned for its immense power yet it only holds 6 shots.
Both pistols are of similar scale and are offered at a similar price.
I have found myself unable to decide which of the two would be best suited for defending my person from and Indian war bands, Mexican bandits, and scorned mistresses seeking retribution for being afflicted by the Spanish pox.
So I humbly ask you fine gentlemen to provide greater enlightenment upon the issue.
Dictated but not read, Jeremiah "Black hanger" T. Barnes. Head of cattle husbandry, surgeon, executioner, barber, dentist, chief latrine pit digger, and sheriff.
Address personal letters to room 4 of "O'malley's saloon and whorehouse" the leftmost of the three buildings on main street of Schithole Nevada.
well pardner I must say that might your yer town be beset by some great hoard of Mexicans, injuns, or worse yet unscrupulous ladies of the night who might have shown their ankles, I must say that the revolver of the Frenchmen might yet be the finest of options yet must one conceal it from certain unscrupulous individuals or generaly carry it I’d must recommend that you do go with the Texans revolver fine sir.
This here article has me rethinking things, fellers.
Is there a bigger meme on this Earth than the US navy? Even the South American countries laugh at them.
>cheap land
>ready access to the coast
>natural beauty all around
>not a whole lot of people
>very little state wide legislation
Is California the place to be, pardners? It still seems like the place to be, I can't see it falling out of promise unless a whole lotta things go wrong
Cursed by injuns and meheecans
You can move and make profit but never settle there.
Never forget your homeland.
Don't, it full of dem buckteeth chinamen
>Is California the place to be, pardners?
It is! Move to that county they named after oranges, and you'll have land in plenty, plus access to the beach and the railroad. You'll do well farmin' and ranchin' out there. And there's tons of deer and other animals for food. You can't go wrong!
>Don't, it full of dem buckteeth chinamen
That's only San Francisco. Ain't much up there but chinamen those queer actin' folk.
Rawhide Kobayashi
I almost thought the barrel was like an expanding batton at first.
Oh no, I hope this doesn't awaken anything in me...
I’ll take the thiccy on the right
Patrician taste
so, how do you fellas think the sino-french war is going to turn-out? personally, my money is on the french.
>ranching sucks
>spend what little free time I have getting boozed at the salon
>constantly fighting off rustlers and natives
>barber was able to yank my bad tooth but fucked up so now life long pain
>dick burns when I piss
>land owner got fucked by cattle baron
>now half the pay
>it's hot as piss and everything stinks during the day
>it's freezing cold and everything stinks during the night
>get stabbed over a poker game
>spend days dying
>some gay centuries in the future disillusioned with their near utopic life romanticizes being me
>tell doc to get the mallet
What ya’ll folks think of them krauts making the teacucks and frogs cross’ the pond seethe? Think this fancy “German Empire” is gonna get’n any wars next century?
That thar German Empire is doin' so well that all their farmin' folk dun got up and left fer Nebraska. They won't have much food to eat come next spring.
>Nebraska?
> actually I don’t like cut of your job retard
>lops your arm clean off at the wrist with a 9” Bowie then run it through your thyroid
Nothing personal retarded bitch
>be me
>at local fencepost wIth bottles lined on top
>have to pay a whole fucking nickel for shooting time now
>mexicans are loud as fuck and have their tricked out horses with them the whole time
>town sheriff gets to shoot for free for some reason yet cant hit a single shot
>bar providing bottles hires local prostitute to bother us the whole time
>bottle warden keeps getting upset about shooting faster than one round per 10 seconds
Idk why the fuck i even go anymore
You can go innadesert and itll be much better
Guys, I finally caved and got one of them cheap European double actions and I have to say I'm thinking this is the future. Those S&W and colt DA revolvers just look finicky.
Why, so you can LARP as a rootin tootin lawman? You won't do shit with it. All the Indians have been rounded up on reservations and the outlaw gangs are barely there anymore. You missed the Old West, California has been a state for over 30 years and there are Grandparents there that never knew it as a territory. The Civil War is over, and there will never be another one like it, telegraphs are basically a dead end technology wise, and trains are basically going to displace horses as your main transport. I would be surprised if you're even going to be allowed to own them in 10 years, and good riddance, all that horseshit in the streets and you don't clean it up.
It’s quite the coincidince that you mention horse shit by name, seeing as that’s the majority of your jawin’.
> All the Indians have been rounded up on reservations and the outlaw gangs are barely there anymore.
I have the dubious fortune of living near to Fort Robinson, and I’m here to tell you that those Indians may be on the reservation at this moment, but that may very well not be the case come morning. Every few years they get riled up about something and go out causing a fuss. Hell, them bastards stole three of my horses back in ‘79 and damn near shot an arrow up my ass. If I hadn’t had the Winchester right there on the table I wouldn’t be talkin’ to you now. Got two of the sonsabitches, though.
What really rubs me the wrong way is all the educated bastards coming through town wanting to help them Sioux. They come to the store and buy up a whole mess of stuff for those ungrateful sonsabitches, and then have the audacity to say they aren’t treated right. They come off the agency, stir up a whole pot of shit, then run back home and get the government to give them free vittles and all kinds of sundries. They’re right we don’t treat them right, the next time they go on the war path we ought to finish the job Custer started.
> trains are basically going to displace horses as your main transport. I would be surprised if you're even going to be allowed to own them in 10 years.
Please, explain to me who in the hell has the money to get track laid from their homestead to town, let alone to buy a locomotive. Do you know how much a locomotive costs? $10,000. Unless your family name is Vanderbilt, I don’t think you’ll be taking anything but a horse home any time soon.
>living near reservations at all
I'm sorry I live in Florida where we knew how to handle our Indian problem.
>I don’t think you’ll be taking anything but a horse home any time soon.
Probably because you don't think ever. The future is obviously electric. They have those new trolleys and they'll be everywhere soon enough. The cost savings alone would be realized by cutting the manure department entirely.
Tick tock, ridies, we're coming for your horses.
>Florida
I’ll take the Indians over swamp ass
> They have those new trolleys and they'll be everywhere soon enough.
And how do you expect me to refill one of them electric trollies? You think people out on the homesteads can afford to have electric run all the way out there? You sound like one of those utopians who thinks everybody’s gonna have a flush shitter in their house in 20 years.
It gets lonely out here in the West. But ever since the gold rush kicked off, every two-bit Kansas City gay came out here looking to strike it rich. Now you can't get rid of 'em. Aw hell, I can't complain, the last woman I saw got carried off by some Modoc Injuns and there ain't too many other gals about.
A cowboy may brag about things that he's done with his women, but he still has urges... and some might be secretly fond of his brother. Some say that's what those saddles and boots are all about. On the other side of the coin, it goes without sayin' that a man who says what other men whisper are usually the first to get shot down dead.
There's many a strange impulse out West.
But once the railroad gets finished up, more women should wander their way out here, because inside every lady, there's a cowboy that wants to come out. Until then, well... what I've learned is that inside every cowboy, there's also a lady that'd love to slip out.
Good evening
I hate the Apache so much it's unreal
Any Spur that Jingles without my knowledge, Jangles without my consent.
My lord, I wish there was something to do other than drink and stare at the grass.
Get a job, mexican.
y'all see that Winchester is selling a rifle designed by some Mormon youngin from Utah? Seems he's a bit behind the curve making a single-shot big bore these days with the likes of Lee and Vetterli around, do you think he's got a future in the career or that it's all just hot fuss?
I
FUCKING
HATE
TRAINS
how do i rob a train? someone tell me how, i lost my job to some yankee prick going 35 miles an hour. what gun should i use to rob a train?
A fast horse and several cowboy loaded colts.
>aquire a large collection of rocks no bigger than your hand
>either paint them black or cover them in soot
>find a job at any old railroad station
>slowly start stashing your rocks somewhere in or around the station
>when an opportunity presents itself fill the bottom half of a locomotive's coal cart with the rocks then fill the top half with coal (might have to study addition and subtraction at a college to get the ratio just right)
>as soon as the train departs get on yer horse, load yer colts, and dawn the biggest shit eating grin the world has ever seen as you break off in a mild canter down the side of the railroad
>you'll eventually come across an immobile train which has conveniently stopped exactly halfway between two railroad stations
We didnt even want Gettysburg