If you were in Starfleet, what rank and area would closely resemble your current social status and occupation?

If you were in Starfleet, what rank and area would closely resemble your current social status and occupation?

I would literally look like pic related, am actual research scientist employed as a postdoc in charge of students who work for me

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  1. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >If you were in Starfleet
    You wouldn't be in Starfleet. Literally just being a basic b***h ensign puts you in the top 2% of humanity. I would be on earth fricking around with my holodeck harem LARPing as a warlord killing and raping all day (in holocraft)

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      This, starfleet and the earth military is just how the earth does social status in star trek. Unless you are on PrepHole as a nuclear scientist or a high level commander in the military, you are not going into starfleet

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        >If you were in Starfleet
        You wouldn't be in Starfleet. Literally just being a basic b***h ensign puts you in the top 2% of humanity. I would be on earth fricking around with my holodeck harem LARPing as a warlord killing and raping all day (in holocraft)

        >2% is elite
        It really isn't. The military is less than 1% of basically every nation's population excepting north korea and other military juntas. Starfleet's 2% is everyone that volunteered minus the true morons who couldn't meet minimum standards.

        The movies and show have lots of civilian scientists that aren't starfleet. There's a few private captains, but Mudd and Troi's brother are outliers to the other mundane civilian vessels which still seem to exist outside of starfleet, but without any known corporate affiliation. Non-federation ships do have your more standard merchant vessels but they're not well explained as independent or corporate affiliated. Ferengi excepted as they have the full variety of pirates, privateers, corporate ships and independent vessels, often all four at the same time. Klingon ships are house affiliated and do actually act for profit like the Ferengi, although they pretend that's not the case.

        Really just the federation is weird because there's apparently businesses, as well as academic expeditions, but they never appear to be corporations. Almost as if the corporations disguise themselves as academic universities and research institutes.

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          You have to blame the creator of star trek for being a commie no-guns moron for not actually understanding what a post-scarcity society could look like

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            I appreciate the weirdness of making phasers not look like guns. By the world building if trek there should be business enterprises that are like corporations, maybe we just don't see any advertising or brand marketing. And perhaps the reason is the federation is rather oppressive about enforcing standardized equipment and technology releases in the public sector.

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          Black person, no one on this site would even pass the entrance exam.

          Starfleet has the luxury of choosing the absolute best of the best. 1% of 1% of 1% of the federation population is absolutely enormous.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            A few things about this. It seems like they come across so many populated planets, without actually that much population. Not sure what pool they recruit from but I would expect the empire to be trillions. Seems like that might be a bit high though. What do people think about that?

            Also, it definitely seems like starfleet are just built different. They remember really specific things about the ships, come up with complex plots and solutions on the spot. I've always thought this to be evolution of humans mixed with past genetic manipulations. I also suspect that many encounters are sped up from what they would really be for the show. How else do things like shuttlecraft sometimes take 10+ hits and keep going while starships sometimes get hit 3 times and have hull breaches.

            The way combat, society and just humanity as a whole are portrayed in Star Trek are just super inconsistent and random.

            Anyways, I'd probably be an engineer. Well, I'd be a programmer but those don't even seem to exist anymore. Somehow they made computers just know what you want and make them, but still have researchers to do more complex things. It doesn't make any sense.

            • 1 month ago
              Anonymous

              >Also, it definitely seems like starfleet are just built different. They remember really specific things about the ships, come up with complex plots and solutions on the spot. I've always thought this to be evolution of humans mixed with past genetic manipulations.
              It doesn't seem that far fetched that a group of "regular" lifelong experts with the best education system imaginable, perfect health and nutrition from conception to the grave, for like ten generations straight, would have substantially higher IQ and general mental alacrity, no magical gene tampering needed.

              Starfleet is the elite of the elite of this society that breeds experts and geniuses, and the Enterprise is the elite of the elite of the elite.

              >A few things about this. It seems like they come across so many populated planets, without actually that much population
              There is a disconnect between full scale "member planets" and "colonies" and there are anywhere from ten times to one hundred times as many colonies as there are fully populated planets. Colonies are usually extremely small, one city only, sometimes quite a small one.

              There are around 100-200 planets in the federation not considered "colonies", so logically there should be a population somewhere in the hundreds of billions to low trillions.
              Races that advance to warp levels do not pack-em-in like the savages of our time, but seem to have fairly stable, relatively low populations. I suspect that most planets considered "fully populated" in the federation have populations in the hundreds of millions, to low billions.

              Consider that the Moon has been populated in Star Trek for hundreds of years, and yet only 50 million people live there.

              People have simply outgrown the h u s t l e a n d b u s t l e mind virus.

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                You talk all homosexual. Watch TNG and you'll see painful examples of just how much people haven't changed, in very high positions of power (admirals, etc.)
                If anything, Starfleet are a bunch of homosexuals high on their own farts and inflated sense of moralhomosexualry

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                >You talk all homosexual.
                You argue like a Black person.

                >Watch TNG and you'll see painful examples of just how much people haven't changed, in very high positions of power
                Spoken like someone who could never appreciate a society that lacks 99% of it's morons (because he's one of those morons).

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                >It doesn't seem that far fetched that a group of "regular" lifelong experts with the best education system imaginable, perfect health and nutrition from conception to the grave, for like ten generations straight, would have substantially higher IQ and general mental alacrity, no magical gene tampering needed.
                I would think this would breed smarter people. In general I would think humanity has evolved to be smarter. Consider how many crew members are just really good at anything. Sure some are specialists like engineers but you see captains pull cool solutions out of their ass too. I also just suspect that genetic manipulation happened on a large scale due to things said in TNG and Voyager. They seemed to imply that humans being so friendly was some expression of a gene in Voyager. It's that episode where the captain takes these two random people who have never been on a mission on one.

                >I suspect that most planets considered "fully populated" in the federation have populations in the hundreds of millions, to low billions.
                Yeah, this makes sense. Why be all packed in like sardines and have no land ownership when you could just frick off to a cool new planet?

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                I mean given earths past in the show humanity probably went through a huge amount of gene editing before we nuked ourselves into calming the frick down. That and I imagine it still goes on, just for disease and positive attributes and less eugenic nightmare

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                Humans in particular are extremely touchy about gene editing, even hundreds of years after the eugenics wars.

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                I mean that's fair, given the utter nightmare the show makes it sound like.

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                Humans in particular are extremely touchy about gene editing, even hundreds of years after the eugenics wars.

                Yeah, which definitely leads me to believe that they are basically nu-humans. The show's format doesn't really do much realistic world building, just vague scifi world building. I suspect the wars also wiped out a good portion of humanity's collective knowledge especially with regards to war. The design of phasers makes absolutely no sense. Why would you want people to see you shoot them with a laser, revealing your location? They're also not designed in a way that they're easily aimable. Why are there zero projectile weapons or missiles? With a replicator you'd have as much ammo as replicator energy. Why are there no cameras with security personnel monitoring them on ships? Why do the crew not carry any life monitoring device? We already have smart watches. Just to name a few things that come to mind.

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                nah the combat stuff is Californians not understanding anything. But yeah by the time we get to trek Humanity would probably be genetically distinct from its current counterparts, probably not enough be a true new species but still enough to go be distinctly different. also loss of historical knowledge wouldnt cause them to be LESS war like suddenly, if anything it probably would have made them more so given the after-math of the gene wars.

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                Oh yeah. They literally never have fricking medkits except when it's needed for the plot. Worf losing his wife is one of the most memorable times I think and even then the super advanced civilization didn't have a fricking super coagulant or sealant spray. What the frick man? No armor too.

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                that's shit writing for drama man

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                The only way I've been able to cope about it is that they expect higher levels of technology to always save their asses like nah, don't take that medkit we will just beam you to sick bay. Even though people die all the time.

                Yeah. Sad. They seem so incompetent for a group of people that have space ships with lasers, holodecks and replicators.

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                You can make them as utopian as you want, but you're still hampered by the IQ of your writers, and I mean, to be fair, the times we see their tech fail them seems to be the rare case rather than the standard.

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                Yeah, that's very true. It's just so odd how scifi writers either don't pay attention to details or conveniently ignore the fact that we actively have technology that already does things that would make the premise of an episode not work.

                I think it's also worth taking into account that they don't really make "boring" slice of life episodes. For example on Voyager there are sometimes weeks between episodes and during those weeks they presumably safely went on away missions, used shuttles and transporters. I think Paris crashes shuttles several times in the series despite being the best pilot. You'd think they'd have at least put fricking seatbelts on those or some futuristic airbag. Even episodes that focus on characters, something happens in the episode.

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                The only way I've been able to cope about it is that they expect higher levels of technology to always save their asses like nah, don't take that medkit we will just beam you to sick bay. Even though people die all the time.

                Yeah. Sad. They seem so incompetent for a group of people that have space ships with lasers, holodecks and replicators.

                Personal combat in Trek is so deadly that it's kind of pointless. Surviving getting hit with a disruptor or phaser set to anything but stun is the exception rather than the rule. The visual FX budget isn't there but getting hit with a phaser set to kill is basically getting third degree burns on your nervous system while disruptors are turning your cells into organic sludge. Both of them will straight up disintegrate you at higher energy settings. Jem'Hadar weapons are the flatout weakest of the Trek weapons because they only do normal high energy tissue damage, but the energy discharge functions as a propellant for anticoagulant micro-projectiles designed to make sure anyone who survives the initial blast dies slowly just to be dicks about it.

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                Yes but there's many other kinds of threats that a medkit would help. There's also the possibility for kinetic weapons to be as effective if they have some sort of charge that activates on impact.

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                >personal combat is so deadly

                Ah yes, the dreaded double fist punch. where 5’1” 95lb Kira blasts a 6’7” 260lb klingon to the carpet with a swift one to the gut then another to the back of the neck.

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                There’s a lotta hustle and bustle in alot of the city and town scenes I’ve seen in TNG/DS9/Voyager.

            • 1 month ago
              Anonymous

              >Not sure what pool they recruit from but I would expect the empire to be trillions. Seems like that might be a bit high though. What do people think about that?

              In 1960, the human population was about 3 billions.

              Between the Eugenics Wars, World War III, the Second civil war and other catastrophies, you can assume a good deal of people died.
              Yet, let's assume they did not.
              Let's further assume a continous healthy +2% population growth per year "just because".

              By the end of the 24th Century, the human population would be around 18,2-18,3 trillions, with about +300 billions the following year.

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                >Let's further assume a continous healthy +2% population growth per year "just because"

                Or let's assume a meager 0,1% growth because population control is a thing.
                We are at 27 billions people by the end of the 24th century.

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                4,6 billions.
                But yeah, basically, the population could be whatever we wished it to be because, with enough science, growing people ain't a problem.

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                >Or let's assume a meager 0,1% growth because population control is a thing.
                Whites stabilize at a certain point, sorry.

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          The big difference is the military doesn't offer any opportunities that you can't have with a better quality of life in the civilian sector.
          There is no way I would ever join the military but give me the chance o explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life and new civilizations, to boldly go where no one has gone before and I'm joining about a billion other people trying to sign up.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        Even Starfleet needs forklift operators on random outpost stations.

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          They def need those guys, worf got clapped by a barrel once

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            Wasn’t it twice? Except one of those times he got healed right away by that alien in the white jumpsuit.
            Ah, apparently that tome Worf fell off a walkway in a cargo bay. Still, cargo bays are dangerous places for him.

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          >Even Starfleet needs forklift operators on random outpost stations.
          Is everyone on a space station formally star fleet, or do they use civilian contractors? I feel like you wouldn't go through star fleet academy just to stack boxes on a random station

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            They have hordes of enlisted personnel specifically for that sort of thing.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        >you are on PrepHole as a nuclear scientist
        Noice, does Starfleet have glonogs?

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >lifelong career artist
      I'd be an artist? idk what art and culture even looks like in star trek

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Holodecks are extremely rare and expensive, why would they give you one?

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        He uses the public one

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        >expensive
        Good thing money ain't a thing

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          Except resources are a thing, and even Star Trek shows their replicator tech has limitations like with it having things it cannot replicate.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      more like top 0.00001% of humanity

      Holodecks are extremely rare and expensive, why would they give you one?

      if you count voyager and ds9 as canon, like everyone has access to a holodeck but most of them are like fancy VR

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      This, if you didn't go to an ivy league school you aren't getting in.
      With our current system odds are you aren't getting in if your dad wasn't in.

  2. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    You need not have a rank

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Just take a ship you found and fly to the stars?

  3. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    He's literally me

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >what rank and area would closely resemble your current social status and occupation?
      Neelix. I am functionally redundant: the machine is perfectly capable of providing for all the necessary nutritional requirements of our organization but the luxury of a human (yeah yeah the very term is racist: go suck-start a stem bolt) touch can offer a variety that prevents mealtime from becoming dull. Probably only a couple more years before our ever increasing and ever increasingly-impersonal corporate culture eliminates my position entirely to save money.

      Picture unrelated.

      Why do you hate your wife?

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        >Why do you hate your wife?
        typical wmaf relationship with hapa child

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        I feel bad for Obrien, and the actress who played his wife. She got shit writing 90% of the time. Only times she was fun to watch was when she was 12 years old or literally a demon.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >If you were in Starfleet, what rank and area would closely resemble your current social status and occupation?
      Ensign that works on the vessels bar (forced to serve synthahol instead of XXXX like God intended).
      Depending on the era I have a feeling that I’d be one of many under qualified losers given a phaser rifle and told to stop the Jem’Hadar rape squads from breaking into the colony while civie evacuations are happening (I’m not going to survive)

      Unfortunately Odo is literally me, with all that entails

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        Get the frick out of here changeling.

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          Post hand, I swear to the Great Link if I see Cardi scales your gonna get it

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        when the colour of your uniform is predominantly red

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      A mass murderer?

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        Cardies aren't people

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          He's murdered the entire crew at least a few dozen times over using the transporter, you can see the guilt in his face.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            Not only does the transporter NOT kill you, it's actually possible for higher beings such as Barclay to maintain consciousness mid transport, which should be fundamentally impossible.

            • 1 month ago
              Anonymous

              >Not only does the transporter NOT kill you
              Matter goes in, energy goes out. You can't explain that.

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                >energy pattern confirmed to contain the actual consciousness of the matter

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                A copy of it, yes. If they ever invent that shit, I'm taking a shuttle.
                Bones was right.

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                >A copy of it,
                Nope, illiterate homosexual, Barclay is one of the rare humans that can remain fully conscious throughout the entire process. Psychics can also detect the consciousness mid transport. There's no death.

                You're a homosexual Black person who's parroting shit Neil Degrasse Tyson says.

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                >IT'S MY WAY OR YOU'RE ILLITERATE!
                There's no place for your emotions in the field of science.

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                >IT'S MY WAY OR YOU'RE ILLITERATE!
                It's "pay attention to the text or you're illiterate".
                Sorry Black person, we don't give extra credit as reparations.

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                Probably a lower ranked equivalent of Barclay with more loose screws and less intimate knowledge of how everything actually works. Would most likely remain lower ranked right up until I'm actually needed. Would only have been accepted to begin with because I'd do amazing and terrifying things with replicators and holodeck/suite tech that'd probably get me noticed and pressed into service or else. They'd probably toss me in a holosuite with a few rules to prevent extreme frickery and let me be a holo-hikikomori until a serious enough problem showed up. I'd bet this is how most PrepHoleners would end up.

                The Dominion war would've featured billions upon billions of war bots shitstomping the Jem'Hadar into submission with sick memes and a minimum ratio of 100 bots per warrior. Imagine getting slaughtered by old /b/ in killbot form without the pre-programmed kill limits to save you. The second they get within range your vision is filled with by then truly ancient memes that can actually hurt you too. Imagine running into the god of untamed chaos that is EFG in holo form.

                I thought that way up until Barclay proved that's not how it worked in an ep where he rescued people trapped in the buffer or whatever. Still would rather take the damn shuttle though.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Your wife's a giant c**t too?

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      How many spoonheads did you personally end in the war?

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      He should have fricked the romulan lady

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        Romulan? Don’t your mean the Cardie chick that really wanted to have Miles children?

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          A truly based man impregnates every woman available to be impregnated.

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Yes, I misremembered

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous
      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        https://i.imgur.com/D69OyP2.jpeg

        He's literally me

        >Chad
        more like cosmic b***hboy, he continues to exist so the universe can frick him in the ass some more

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          the frick are you talking about? he got married and is a highly respected member of star fleet, take your cuck fantasies to

          [...]

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            Why the frick would you bring up /misc/ of all things

            • 1 month ago
              Anonymous

              sounded like a loser, aka a /misc/ poster

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                You might as well be calling them a troony, its the same kind of kneejerk mindset to blame everything you don't like on one boogieman no matter the circumstances or context.

  4. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Computer, analyze the contents of Deanna Troi's intestines.
    Replicate them and drop them over my mouth.

  5. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    I'd be black and female.
    >A charming negress
    >But why should I object to that term, sir? You see, in our century, we've learned not to fear words

  6. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >/k/ - Weapons

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      OP mad the same thread on PrepHole.

      [...]

      Looks better than average.

  7. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    I'd be a blueshirt geologist who gets eaten by the monster of the week within the first 10 minutes of an episode. In my dying breaths I'd curse Starfleet for denying my requests for a phaser rifle. Hopefully after my death scientific field teams are given basic weapons training and are equipped with phaser rifles set to kill when exploring uncharted worlds.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >Asking for a laser rifle and not an environmental suit or forcefield gas mask
      Most things the phaser would not have helped because what's dangerous is environmental hazards, especially pyrotechnics and falling Styrofoam bricks.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        Good point, I revise my death rattle to include requests for hardened environmental power armor suits as well. In fact just give us the Mobile Infantry suits from Heinlein's Starship Troopers.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        >falling Styrofoam bricks
        When will they develop a cure?!?

  8. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >be me
    >sleazy paranoid antisocial pseudo sperg doing basic b***h IT shit
    >and a manlet
    I think my very existence would be anathema to the Federation/Earth in ST and either get my ass “rehabilitated” in some Section 31 glownig internment camp or jettisoned out an airlock/sent as fodder for some weird threat

  9. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    I'd be a button pusher near the engine room, the guy who goes in and looks a bit confused but tries stuff anyway and it sometimes works

    I wouldn't survive the episode

  10. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >postdoc
    You aren’t in charge of shit except making 30k a year and being a glorified assistant to your PI.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      FWIW, I make $80k/yr and our money comes from the office of naval research

      When I was a PhD student I once said the exact same thing to a postdoc in the lab, but YMMV how much you get paid as a postdoc depending on what you do and how much the PI has kicking around

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        >12 years of school
        >80k salary
        Don’t spend all that money in one place buddy.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        Holy shit dude I have spent less time working on trucks than you've been in school and I still pull in 10k/yr more than you, and I'm not even close to the top of the pay grade at my company.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        I too had thought 80k was a lot, once.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        damn homie, my first job offer out of school was 70k/yr with a bachelor's in engineering.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        Lmao I made more as a nurse fresh out of school wiping old people's asses.

        https://i.imgur.com/RJ1JPMb.jpeg

        If you were in Starfleet, what rank and area would closely resemble your current social status and occupation?

        I would literally look like pic related, am actual research scientist employed as a postdoc in charge of students who work for me

        I'm the perky tittied blond on the right, but male. They'll never get robots to be cost efficient enough while also being interpersonally skilled and physically dexterous enough (fine motor skills specifically) to replace nurses, though technology magic could definitly make us redundant, so you'd probably end up with 2 doctors and 2 nurses for the whole fricking ship since all im doing is listening to people b***h while plugging their various orifices into AI managed infusion/wound care/output devices. I'm pretty sure they cured all disease in the show due to >muh science besides trauma and random infectious diseases.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        I guess I shouldn't be surprised at how many other scientists are in a Star Trek thread.

        Also blue shirt making 80k but will be PI in three months. We may not get paid as much as plumbers but at least our jobs are interesting.

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          Congrats. I was also promised I could be the PI next renewal because my PI will be retired by then. I’m sure as you know it’s not the money, but I honestly love what I do and would work for free if not the need to make a living and to not starve to death

  11. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Travelling Tribble merchant

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Regular or bird hybrid?

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        Regular, but if you want bird hybrids I can have them ordered.

  12. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    scientist
    because I'm a scientist

  13. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >I would literally look like pic related, am actual research scientist employed as a postdoc in charge of students who work for me
    Are you a pedophile?
    "
    The LA Times recently ran a story about the Child Exploitation Section of the Toronto Sex Crimes Unit, which contained a mind-boggling statistic: of the more than 100 offenders the unit has arrested over the last four years, "all but one" has been "a hard-core Trekkie." Blogger Ernest Miller thought this claim was improbable. "I could go to a science fiction convention," he explained "and be less likely to find that 99+ percent of the attendees were hard-core Trekkies." While there may be quibbling about the exact numbers, the Toronto detectives claim that the connection is undeniable.

    In fact, Star Trek paraphernalia has so routinely been found at the homes of the pedophiles they've arrested that it has become a gruesome joke in the squad room. (On the wall, there is a Star Trek poster with the detectives' faces replacing those of the crew members). This does not mean that watching Star Trek makes you a pedophile. It does mean that if you're a pedophile, odds are you've watched a lot of Star Trek.

    "https://boingboing.net/2005/04/28/la-times-pedophilia.html

    https://www.standard.co.uk/news/uk/sex-offenders-star-trek-flat-being-sold-by-his-ex-wife-because-she-wants-a-fresh-start-10248955.html
    The ex-wife of a man who transformed his flat into the bridge of Star Trek's Voyager spaceship is selling the property years after she won it in a

    Mr Alleyne, a former interior designer, was jailed in 2013 for downloading and sharing child sex abuse pictures and the flat has been unoccupied ever since.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Pedos are usually older lonely men, and that as whom star trek has attracted for a while. In the future star wars (original and prequals only) will probably be the new pedo obsession

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Pedos are usually older lonely men, and that as whom star trek has attracted for a while. In the future star wars (original and prequals only) will probably be the new pedo obsession

      Incels who dont frick realwomen become Pedos and also become Trekkies.
      >23rd Century holodeck is going to have floor gratings to catch all the splooge pumped into virtual-e-girls

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        >"Anon, we noticed your last holodeck order was to have a copy of Deanna Troi naked at her current age and extremely infatuated with you. I wanted to say that due this action, we have decided to promote you to to the head of engineering"

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        Apparently lower decks cartoon has a biohazard bin that needs to be emptied manually from the holodeck.

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          Except for the sake of a joke, the show ignores that the holodeck functions like a giant replicator. They're the same tech, so anything left in the thing will be disintegrated just like when you put a used cup back in a replicator and it disappears Which is why everyone freaks out when the safety protocols of a holodeck are messed with.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >Trekkies are literal pedos
      >Star Wars gays fail at life most often

      LotRchads keep winning....or at least not failing at life as bad. Mostly keeping it together.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        When I think of the LOTR fandom I think of college kids getting high watching the trilogy back to back out of a gandalf pipe. At least thats been my experience with them IRL.

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          For me, it's turbo-autists that pick up hobbies like "fantasy cartography".

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            >turbo-autists that pick up hobbies like "fantasy cartography".
            someone made image related out of +dozen main storyline novels and the spin-off novels, totaling to something like 20 books

            • 1 month ago
              Anonymous
              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous
              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous
    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >boingboing.net

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      If you lived in the 1990s you basically will automatically have at least one trek or star wars toy in your house. And you probably own a video game of one or both.

      This is pasta by the way, but people always reply.

  14. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    some middling level engineer

  15. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Lt Cdr operations officer
    >It's my actual role irl

  16. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    My equivalent would be a Junior-enlisted Engineer in the photon torpedo storage and launch bay.
    No command responsibilities, no wearing a Redshirt on away-missions, trying to perfect replicator coffee and choc-chip cookies, jacking off in the holodeck a couple of times a week.
    >cumfy now and cumfy then

  17. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    One of the nameless morons that dies from an exploding console and get declared dead despite there being no blood and my body and head not deformed and the age of teleporter medicine where they can do trauma care at the subcellular level. But a chunk of Styrofoam fell down from the twelve foot ceiling so there's nothing to be done.

    Oh, one thing I noticed. A lot of military movies and TV the commander has a JAG officer as part of staff. But I never seen a lawyer in star trek, were they replaced by computers?

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      In TNG Measure of a Man (the one where they litigate if Data has rights as an individual) there is a JAG for the sector who once persecuted Picard at a court martial. She deputizes Picard to defend Data and Riker to argue Data has no rights

      In DS9 you see Cardassian public defenders, etc.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        PrepHole question: is shehulk: attorney at law any good? I saw the pilot and hated it but I'm hoping it will find a groove to become either harvey birdman:AAL or a more serious(silly) law drama that focuses on the courtroom and not boring superhero shit

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          I categorically hate and despise any and all capeshit, for legal kicks I watch the good wife (which is also masterful for politics)

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            I'm irate because you can just buy a used first year law student textbook and write an episode from each principle of case law. Or just copy the transcripts from Judge Judy and just have the parties wear silly costumes.

            All you gotta do is goof up the dialogue and nobody even cares if the case law is wrong.

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          >PrepHole question: is shehulk: attorney at law any good?
          Do you like sliding broken glass under your foreskin before repeatedly slamming a meat tenderizer down onto the head of your penis? If you said yes, you're still going to fricking hate it.

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          I liked it. You will hate it if:
          >You're an incel
          >You think women aren't people
          >You hate fourth wall breaks
          It's a bit messy but that's part of the point.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            No gun

            • 1 month ago
              Anonymous

              12 guns of varying quality from dubious to decent.
              Plus a shotgun receiver I still need to actually do something with.

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                Post gun with timestamp

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          It's law comedy written by people who admitted to not being able to write courtroom scenes, whose main writing shtick is to b***h about the anti-SJW culture warriors taking potshots at it online, and its metatextuality is simultaneously boring and milquetoast. It's also not very funny.

          Apparently lower decks cartoon has a biohazard bin that needs to be emptied manually from the holodeck.

          It doesn't have to be emptied manually, they make people empty it manually.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      One of Kirk's exes was a prosecutor for Starfleet's JAG.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >never seen a lawyer in star trek
      Then you didn't watch it.

  18. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    I work on vaccine dispensing systems so Im that guy on some federation planet the crew visits once for reasons and is never seen on screen after the first 5 minutes because something wacky happens and the episode either is forgettable or a gem.

  19. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Engineer.
    Id start implementing planned obsolessence.
    Marquis Freedom for everyone.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Markwiss?

  20. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Hello humons, welcome to the station! Just sign this form and everything you desire can be arranged for a small, insignificant, fee.

  21. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >If you were in Starfleet, what rank and area would closely resemble your current social status and occupation?

    Private
    Holodeck janitor

  22. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    If I suddenly popped into the Star Trek universe, I'd capitalize on being a living fossil and retelling as much as I could about our time. I'd do tours and speaking engagements.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      How many lies would you tell for fun?

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        The answer to that is wholly dependent on how much condescension gets thrown at me.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        NTA, but, id tell them about how the californian wildfires were an austrailian invention

  23. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Security and spending my off duty time living out my giantess vore fantasy on the Holodeck.

  24. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Lt. Barclay

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous
  25. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Rom before he got his shit together.

  26. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >Star Trek
    Orville
    >Alien that fricks your wife.

  27. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    i'd be starNEET instead

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      With post scarcity they gotta be out there. At least til the Dominion war kicks off and you become federation mobiks.

  28. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >If you were in Starfleet, what rank and area would closely resemble your current social status and occupation?
    Ship captain of course.
    Order me personal ship and crew from replicator , its post scarcity society, boomer, get with the times, old fart.

  29. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    The Bolian barber.

  30. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Do they have forklifts in space? In which case I'll become a space forklift operator

  31. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Specialist
    Engineering

    I'm so fricking tired I just crawl up the Jefferies Tubes for "maintenance" (in reality I'm taking a long nap)

    All I want is to save up enough replicator rations to build my own replicator, holodeck, and small ship, and just fly off into deep space forever.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >Gets assigned the suicide hell prison posting
      This room doesn't even have a turbo lift or jefferies tube access. It has a fricking ladder. Every day you will wake up, and begin your hour long commute up the nacelle. At which point you will be trapped in the least pleasant looking room on the enterprise, filled with extremely loud chaotic noise, working at a station that hurts your back in the least comfortable chair in the federation, across from an annoying ugly alien who hates you. Every now and then you'll need some information from the alien, but the noise from the machine that could kill you instantly is so loud, you can barely hear them, so you have to keep going "What? What!?" as you slave away in your twelve hour shift.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >billion degree plasma arc 3' away from walkway
        >not even a handrail in between you and the billion degree plasma arc
        >can easily jump into arc, or trip and fall into arc
        Does the federation not have an OSHA equivalent?

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Forcefields and personal responsibility.

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          no, that's why she's visibly deformed

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          I'm convinced this room was designed to be as hostile as possible, and the instant death machine being constantly visible and making a ton of noise and emitting uneven light was supposed to further your demoralization.
          There's only one room on the ship like this, maybe two theoretically if there's one on the other Nacelle.

          The guy who worked there killed himself because in addition to being the worst posting in the galaxy, it was also haunted. He smiled right before he did it.

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          There's a door or a forcefield or something in between, they open it as a demonstration (and the suicider opened it in order to jump in) but they can only leave it open for a few seconds.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            BWAAAOOOWWW BWWAAAAAOOOOWWW
            SSSHHHHPSSSSSSSPSHHHHHHHHHHHH
            VMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
            >DECONTAM
            BWAAAAOOOW
            >SEALING
            wAAAAAOW BWAAAAOOOW
            >"ANON DID YOU MOVE MY DATA PAD???"
            KSSSSSHSHSHH
            BWAAAAOOOOW
            >"killthemallkillyourselfkillyourselfkillyourselfiminthewallsiminyourwallskillyourselfiminyourwalls"
            >"ANON I SAID DID YOU MOVE- ANON ARE YOU LISTENING? ANON???"
            BWAAAOOOW
            >MAGNETIC LOCK ENGAGED
            BWAAAOOOW
            >"ANON- ANON DID YOU MOVE"

            Only ten hours left on your shift ensign.

  32. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >post-scarcity society
    I wouldn't be in Starfleet, I'd be chilling on Earth or somewhere else in the Sol system making grand strategy games, because somehow even with holodecks and shit there are still autists who prefer playing mappies.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Why not just make it so as the player you can "zoom in" on aspects for direct control?

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        No, the point of mappies is to look at a map.

        There are actually very few holodecks. Riker had never seen one before, and everyone's impressed when they see it.

        Plot hole, if they're actually post-scarcity it should not be the case.

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          >Plot hole, if they're actually post-scarcity it should not be the case.
          >It's a plot hole that the show which never claimed to be post scarcity is not post scarcity

          Doesn't fricking Quark have a few on DS9 that he rents out, surely they can't be that rare.

          Quark basically has the run of a titanic space station that Starfleet has pumped obscene resources into, and his holo suites are still supposed to be shittier than Starfleets by a wide margin.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            They're rare in TNG S1 but commonplace by S4, which would make a huge amount sense considering how everyone would want one. Just imagine that we're actually seeing a very important transitional time in the Trek universe where holodecks and replicators are introduced and spreading like wildfire it's just entirely in the background and we don't see it because it's unimportant to the plots at hand. Although the writers themselves disliked the replicators, noting that they should solve about 90% of plotlines without issue and remove the need for a lot of conflict in the setting.

            • 1 month ago
              Anonymous

              >but commonplace by S4
              To what are you referring, exactly?

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                Replicators and holodecks.

                The United Federation of Planets may be the ones exporting that item and making bank as it were (in concessions and other trade). Replication technology was what the old Liberal Trekkies used as their method to abolish needs like food, water, utilities, and shelter. One episode of Voyager though, revealed that replicators needed some unique molecule or element to restock (and that other episode with Tom Paris' gambling hustle for replicator rations)... so, Trek-verse's cashless society basically was a falsehood - cash / money was replaced by hard bartering / deep space excavation and cryptocurrency.

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                So you're not referring to anything then. I asked what specifically you meant by "holodecks are common now"

                On a Galaxy class (canonically the most advanced computer system any federation race ever built) and the intrepid (super experimental deep space vessel) is not "common"

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                I'm not that anon you first replied to.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      There are actually very few holodecks. Riker had never seen one before, and everyone's impressed when they see it.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        Doesn't fricking Quark have a few on DS9 that he rents out, surely they can't be that rare.

  33. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >I would literally look like pic related
    Same
    >t. LTJG

  34. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Why is Picard a doctor now?

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Picard was a wienery gigachad in his youth and when he got stabbed through the heart by a moron in a barfight it brought his whole life into focus.
      In the show, his artificial heart is giving him trouble (again) and he wishes he'd been more cautious and smarter as a young man, and Q calls him a pussy and makes him live out a scenario where he was always a pussy until he agrees that it's better to die a brave man than live a coward, and then Q fixes his heart for him.

      ?si=FCSEV6SMxr-cqtoi

  35. 1 month ago
    Anonymous
  36. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Red shirt unchanged of toilet

  37. 1 month ago
    Anonymous
  38. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >late 30s fitbro VP of finance who reports directly to the CFO

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >in a setting where the existence of money is only brought up a few times.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        And where RIKER out gambles and out negotiates Ferengi every single time.

  39. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >If you were in Starfleet, what rank and area would closely resemble your current social status and occupation?

    AR558

  40. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    I’d be a passing trader that gets picked up. Valued only by knowledge of the area and my e-girl wife

  41. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    I'd spend years in the holodeck perfecting my mind and body for war. When my training ended, I'd go join the Maquis and put myself to the test against the spoonheads. When the Dominion finally came into the picture, I'd fight them too.

  42. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    First officer, because I am a First Officer

  43. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    This definitely beats planting saplings.

    >Don't summon me again unless you ready for that pain.
    >t. Captain Planet

  44. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Realistically I'd probably be a borg since I'd be way the frick out on the edge of federation space

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Eh, there´s a lot of space where the Federation presence is null, even unknown withow having to deal with the metal boys.

  45. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Bureau of Naval Intelligence

  46. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    I'd be an NCO at some sort of fabrication facility or shipyard.

  47. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    The one thing that irks me from this series is that privacy within starfleet(other factions/empires possibly) is fricking dead. All your personal, work and holosuite logs are made into transcripts by the computer and anyone up in the chain of command can access them. The combadges have a microphone that may or may not be active 24/7 constantly phoning home and your location is logged in real time, bioscanners fitted in every hallway and the 'Computer locate anon' if you decide to throw it away somewhere.
    Oh you're in DS9? Odo or his deputies are probably monitoring all civilian communication. Who do you think sets up all the interstellar comm relays?
    IRL militaries aren't as egregious where they look over your emails and censor them if they're bad news or something.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >muh privacy monitoring

      Evident with one of the more memorable S9 episodes where Ezri tracks down a killer using that transporter slug thrower.

      Until the guy decided to kill someone, he replicated a remarkable weapon, IMO.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        There was actually ANOTHER guy on the station who had replicated the same type of rifle, but he just collected weapons as a hobby.

  48. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >Join Starfleet
    Howabout no? I would be one of the guys making explicit holodeck programs, the type Starfleet cadets pass around.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      there will be a snitch and the captain can ban it

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >Vulcan Love Slave, Part IV: Range Trap

  49. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    On a related note, what the frick happened with enterprise
    >avoid it cause I hear it’s mid
    >watch TOS through Voy
    >well people said boy was bad and it wasn’t that terrible, maybe enterprise isn’t that bad either
    >watch episode 1
    >prolonged stripping scene combined with rubbing gel on semi-nude bodies
    I’d frick T’pol but everything in Ent feels so out of place, plus the technobabble is somehow even worse

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Rick Berman unbrided. That´s what happened. Still doing his old crap and sinking ENT´s ratings like a bathyscaphe. Coto tried to right the ship on s4, but it was too late.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >everything in Ent feels so out of place

      Because it pre-dates Pike, Kirk, and the established TOS canon.

      Try Lower Decks. It's pretty comfy, and less cringey than Orville.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        Nice rip-off you have there.

  50. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    To make this an actual k thread, how would you make the 90s phasers not ergonomic nightmares

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Go back to earlier styles for type-2. It´s the only way. Those vacuum cleaners are just a big no, please no.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      I would mount twenty of the pocket phasers in a box and rig them up to fire simultaneously like Zorg with the ZF1

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Compression phaser rifle looks like it has a California compliant grip. Which makes it even more hilarious.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      I would do anything execpt what they actually did for Picard

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        A nail gun?

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        Bizarely, the weird alt timeline phaser in Picard season 2 actually looks nice, why isnt this the main timeline phaser!

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          >The virgin Federation phaser
          >The chad Klingon disruptor

  51. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Unironically a redshirt Dominion War vet who inexplicably survived every mission. Retired, settled a nice Class-M frontier planet with a 10/10 illiterate Orion slavegirl he picked up his last mission and is helping to "civilize" to a proper Federation standard.

    She can't use a replicator worth a damn, can't cook, and barely speaks Standard without a Universal Translator, but she's got more curves than a photon torpedo casing and could suck the polish off a stem bolt.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      any Orion female born after 2353 can’t cook… all they know is Replimat , charge they PADD, twerk, be bisexual , eat hot isolinear & emit pheromone

  52. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    God I fricking hate star Trek so much.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Star Trek is pretty shit.
      A couple of the things that annoy me with the setting is despite everyone wanking out over it being "so scientific" is the combination of ridiculous technobabble bullshit constantly thrown around and all the literal magical space gods.

      Also federation guns (and klingon melee weapons) look so fricking terrible.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        it is pretty gay. after reading 40k it's hard to watch with the gay prime directive and all. humanity should bend the galaxy to its will, not the other way around.

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          >it is pretty gay. after reading 40k it's hard to watch
          >BRUVVA WE HAV 2 FLY IN DA ANUS
          >DA ANUS BROVA!
          >AAAUUUUUUGH
          LOOOOOOOOOOL

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          humanity can barely take on a few borg cubes and you want them to try and be actively hostile in a galaxy that could easily crush them to dust if they weren't on such good terms with literally 90% of all sentient life in it and apparently above it (Q).

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        >everyone wanking out over it being "so scientific"
        Has anyone ever said this? Are you on facebook or reddit? I have never seen this is 30 years of loving star trek.

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          It comes from some design docs used during TOS that basically stated, "except for all the shit that has to explicitly break the laws of physics, please stick to scientific reality."

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            Ah k, the only impressively realistic sci-fi I have seen is the first season of "for all mankind" and "the expanse" is pretty good ignoring the 2 billion ISP engines.

  53. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Holodeck Molester

  54. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    I'd bust you for fraud frick you. Fear the inquisition.

  55. 1 month ago
    Sieg

    Probably on earth stealing food

  56. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    civil contractor to fix various computer issues but in rrality people would mostly ask me how to wipe the holodeck history

  57. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    I would be a space jihadist

  58. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Thank frick the Federation has welfare or I would fricking starve.

  59. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    I used to be a red uniform lieutenant in charge of a rescue/response shuttle.

    Now I'm a blue uniform lieutenant doing exoplanetary surveys on uninhabited worlds before the Federation exploits them for resources.

    When not on a mission I have the love life of Miles O'Brien and the holoporn addiction of Reg Barclay.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >When not on a mission I have the love life of Miles O'Brien and the holoporn addiction of Reg Barclay.
      Remember that time his Japanese wife got turned into a child and she was mad at him for treating her differently.
      Do you remember that time.
      Hey.
      That time.
      Do you remember it.

  60. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    I honestly don't think I would pass Starfleet Academy. I failed a welding class, I won't know anything about power couplings or warp core breaches. I'm not good at anything, I'm just a waste of space.

  61. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >Security team
    >Lowest rank possible
    >Don't even get to do the cool shit, just watch for stuff happening and dispatch cooler people to deal with it
    I'm a very boring person.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      While extras are just extras, and it's not like they're going to do Jackie Chan stunt coreography for an episode of star trek, the basic b***h security guys on the ENT-D were supposed to be gigachad athlete types that physically dunked on other security forces who didn't have some kind of alien super powers, Enterprise Security even hosts regular martial arts tournaments.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        >Enterprise Security even hosts regular martial arts tournaments.
        so did every goddamn military installation since Hector was a lance corporal, its part of the job description

        ?t=63

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          These are organized martial arts tournaments by prime athletes jackass.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            >implying ancient soldiers who had known nothing but farm and fight weren’t astonishingly fit by today’s standards.

            Pic related is a photo taken in the early 1930s of a farmer in his early 20s. Look I’m not saying star fleet security guys aren’t hot shit door kicker types. But I’m saying unless you’re on PEDs or genetically altered, if you want do-all fitness to man handle and/or kill other men, then people haven't really changed much in recorded human history.

            • 1 month ago
              Anonymous

              Anyone with a shred of experience in any fighting sport can tell you there's a night and day difference between a strong man who's lived a rugged life and someone with even one year's professional fighting experience, moron.

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                Yeah. And most soldiers throughout history were strong men from rugged lives given martial training and competition for “professional fighting experience”. I swear to god your reading comprehension and inability to extrapolate information and apply it to the scenario is baffling. Either that or you’re terrible at expressing yourself in words. Regardless it’s like talking to a wall or a mannequin.

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                >Yeah. And most soldiers throughout history were strong men from rugged lives given martial training and competition for “professional fighting experience”.
                The average soldier is not given anywhere close to the amount of hand to hand training as even an amateur sport fighter with a single fight under his belt, you fricking moron.

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                Look out We got a real tough guy here.

              • 4 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                https://i.imgur.com/MNonEih.gif

                Look out We got a real tough guy here.

                nah dude is right. 11b here. we get just enough combatives training through OSUT to get into trouble but not enough to actually be "good" at it. it helps that infantry guys are all well above and beyond in the fitness department (compared to the average joe that is) but all in all we're far from "experts".

                that being said, I got lucky and went to actual combatives school, got up to level 2 (3 and 4 are teaching stuff). It's pretty much MMA but with different rules, for example, in combatives you're allowed to grab a guy by the throat, hold him down with one hand and smash his face with the other. 6 to 12 elbows are allowed too.

                my point is, any combat arms soldier is going to be in great physical shape, running miles every day and doing a ton of bodyweight exercise, some of us also lift, but it's still not the same level of fitness actual combat sports guys are at. we're always busy with other stuff (battle drills, shooting skills, small unit tactics, work details, etc.) compared to an actual competitor that spends 8 hours a day doing nothing but fitness and fighting skills.

                sure, those of us that managed to get into combatives school proper would stand a much better chance... in fact I'd say most of us would do really well against amateur fitghters, but that simply isn't the case with 90% of combat arms soliders. even then, with my extra combatives training and a ton of sparring under my belt, I'd last all of about 1 minute against a high level BJJ guy or a semi-pro fighter. people underestimate just how bad ass those guys are. they watch them on tv without a real understanding of just how capable they are, even at the low ranks.

                and don't even get me started on the fat, soft, "we're infantry too" homosexuals like the MPs or scouts. worst are the straight POGs that work behind a desk or as a mechanic, but always want to talk shit about "being a vet"

                a vet of fricking what? changing tires? frick outta here

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                >Yeah. And most soldiers throughout history were strong men from rugged lives given martial training and competition for “professional fighting experience”.
                The average soldier is not given anywhere close to the amount of hand to hand training as even an amateur sport fighter with a single fight under his belt, you fricking moron.

                lmao what makes you think you got what takes to knock him down?

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                >lmao what makes you think you got what takes to knock him down?
                Sgt. Zim the drill instructor has an unfair advantage here, I am not going to do the same thing in a training session as in a real fight

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                >in a REAL fight I’d do things you’re not allowed to do in a training fight

                So would he. You’d lose faster and worse.

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                IIRC in the book he actually spanks a recruit whose like a world judo champ for this exact reason, but then he makes that boot the combatives instructor for the platoon

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                Rewarding defeat with constructive responsibility through the recognition of the merits of the defeat. I swear to god that book is one of the best books on leadership I’ve ever read. beats the shit out of the books wsj or harvard review recommend.

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                FWIW Heinlein went through Annapolis in 1929 and served on the Lexington under Ernest King, and he also got out before WWII so he didn't get disillusioned by the horrors of war like Joeseph Heller and etc. So yeah no shit he's on point, he trained/served with the best of the best

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                The recruit fights Zim to a standstill and they call off the sparring session by mutual consent because they realize it'll end with one of them getting horribly injured and which one it is would be entirely up to chance.

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                no.. I mean, I wouldn't even try to punch him where I would punch someone in a real fight, because if I land a solid hit I could straight up kill the guy

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                Lolwut

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                you know how in battle you're never gonna have a perfect plan, and what you should do is execute a good plan forcefully, but here I am not allowed to do the good plan forcefully. I have to take a less than optimal approach.

  62. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Lister RD 52 169

  63. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >Star Trek thread
    >no best captain
    >only meh captains
    let's fix that. I would die for this man with a smile on my lips and a song in my heart

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Picard refuses to answers Data's last question about terrorism directly; is it acceptable if all other options for peaceful settlement have been foreclosed

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous
  64. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >would literally look like pic related
    You're too fat to wear a starfleet uniform homosexual.

  65. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    How is this reddit shit about a woke tv show on topic but threads about the upcoming American Civil War 2.0 aren't?

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      You posted the reason why

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >the upcoming American Civil War 2.0 aren't?
      I've been on the internet since Nov 1998 and I've had to listen to morons like you talk about next year's civil war every month since. Just stop. Get some sun.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        You remember the stile project (before it got sold by stile)? I remember. Don’t let that anon get under your skin. Just one of millions since the halcyon days of John Titor.

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          I remember it but I wasn't a reader. Spent more time at rotten.com back then.

          God I miss those years. Web site awards, webrings, dialup warnings, captive ISP content, "click for site without frames" etc.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            Yeah man. Still lurking this thread. I remember the warez sites that required navigating a couple hundred pupups, popunders, full page porn ads with sound, and redirects before actually getting to download the script I wanted.

            • 1 month ago
              Anonymous

              I remember when laws kinda didn't apply to porn sites and there was all kinds of shit out there you wouldn't even risk clicking on today.

            • 1 month ago
              Anonymous

              I remember it but I wasn't a reader. Spent more time at rotten.com back then.

              God I miss those years. Web site awards, webrings, dialup warnings, captive ISP content, "click for site without frames" etc.

              Oh yeah, and the internet was basically Europe, North America, Japan, Korea, Australia, New Zealand only. And those below the middle class just didn’t have a presence. A friend of mine in middle school in the mid 90s had an ISDN line because his dad worked for big telecom, and so he always hosted lan parties to play quake and command & conquer and shit. It was wholesome.

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                I downloaded game demos over a 28.8 modem on my family's telephone line, letting it run from midnight to dawn. Got a rip of The Matrix over Kazaa by doing that for a week in a row.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            I remember Netscape, Tripod blogs, and minimal image websites back when waiting for a page to load was a thing and each page was a couple cents on your phone bill
            each navigation button was merely a hyperlink and if you found something you wanted to read a lot of, you clicked on twenty links and went to make a coffee while it loaded

            simpler times

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            Remember webcounters and guest books?

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Go make a thread instead of whining like a little b***h

  66. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    barclay
    kill m,e

  67. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Klingon attache'. I am just here to insult the crew and eat cuisine from home in their galley. Also, take every opportunity to remind them that they're nothing like all of humanity that came before them and they're basically freaks.

  68. 1 month ago
    Anonymous
  69. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    I used to utterly despise the federation, I mean want them fricking dead. My old man watched the show all the time, I ignored because I hated it and I still do. Everything about the entire premise pissed me off, until I learned you could leave at any time for any reason. You can just decide that you don't want to join, and if yo unmake that clear they won't even knock on your door anymore. You can be rapacious but insular state that could slaughter the Borg because you actually know how to use the basic technology these homosexuals possess. You could be genetically and cybernetically jacked to the point that every boy is born a robot monster and all the women are congenital bimbos due to sexual selection. You could build trillions of Von Neumann killbots and just store them up for a rainy day. You can hate aliens and hate the federation with a burning passion. You can treat intelligent life like cattle and eat kids brains. But if you say "frick off I do not want to see nor speak with you, I don't care what you do and I require the same courtesy from you" they'll just leave unlike IRL libtards. They actually walk the walk. I've never seen anybody just walk away from their libtard moral diatribe as they spew it, but it could happen and they wouldn't even follow you.

    I went from wanting to gut them with a dull butterknife, to just respectfully hating everything they stand for. Too bad this only comes if you talk to nerds on the internet, this shit was on for years while I did something in the room but it never came up.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >Dominion invades
      >fleet smashed to shit by RVK suicide ships
      >ground forces eaten by Screamers(TM)
      >unknown organism which can imitate any lifeform and assimilate any cellular matter let lose on nearest dominion outpost for extra irony against goo people, after consuming all organic matter all instances of the organism fall over dead and decay into toxic sludge rendering the planet uninhabitable
      >the few times they meet the actual enemy it turns out they are human brains shoved into cybernetic constructs whose basic infantry rifles fire miniaturized boosted fission warheads, the 300 tons of TNT explosive yield is just a bonus the real point is the neutron flux that destroys all organic matter and breaks all electronics by shot gunning relativistic particles through every cell and circuit
      >refuse all attempts at communication except a repeating message to frick off

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >gets vaporized by a space god for being a homosexual
      Get owned Husnock.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        It is funny how libarded scifi like star trek or "the culture" can only exist because actual gods keep the more competent races and factions from dominating the libtards and converting every gram of hydrogen available into components of their civilization. It a tacit admission that they and their philosophies are weak as shit, friendly reminder that liberalism didn't win the world wars Taylorism did.

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          The Federation are a ridiculous marysue form of humanity from the start, created more as a way for the guy behind it to jerk off his views than an actual concept that exists logically in a setting.

          Of course they have writer-fiat in characters form enforcing just how fricking 'special' they are.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            >The Federation are a ridiculous marysue form of humanity from the start
            >post-scarcity society (allegedlys)
            no!
            really?!

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        I wish they talked about that homie a little bit more. You'd think the Q wouldn't enjoy another race of omnipotent entities running around.

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          Q wouldn't but rememer according to the rest of the continuum he's an outlier. The other Q generally don't frick about on the same level to actually care.

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          Q wouldn't but rememer according to the rest of the continuum he's an outlier. The other Q generally don't frick about on the same level to actually care.

          I'm not the first person to put this together but the Q probably actively police other super-beings. That's literally what they're doing with humanity. Humanity's supernatural powers are accelerating towards infinity. Progress isnt about how many phasers you fire or how many megatons your torpedoes shoot out, progress that matters in star trek is about the expanding consciousness and how it begins to warp reality.

          Kevin is in self imposed hell prison, torturing himself forever with the ghost of his wife. Trelane was restrained by more powerful entities that called him a child. The false god at the center of the galactic barrier was being held there by phenomenal cosmic power. Armus couldnt leave his planet, etc etc etc. The Q seem to hold back the worst of the supernatural evils, and enforce rules on how power can be used.

          Consider that the Q are basically unconcerned with the other races, even those more technologically advanced than the federation, because they're not metamorphosing into space gods, humans ARE.

          Q, the one that we know, is not only mankind's Advocate, but he's also trying to train mankind so that when they evolve into thought-energy beings, they wont obliterate the galaxy or more. I have always said Picard was put in the path to meet Armus, Nagilum, and Kevin to show him the very real, very likely bad end that simply allowing mankind to blindly stumble into their powers could bring. He was set up to encounter the many supernatural beings on his journey, just as Q engineered his encounter with the Borg.

          The borg are the end of Materialism, they're the thing mankind is accelerating away from, unbeatable in the material world, but a nothing, a complete irrelevancy, to what Q considers the next stage of human development.

          Like one in five episodes in TNG can be seen as a Spiritual lesson meant to prepare mankind for what's to come.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            >As the end of the twentieth century nears, an asteroid is hurtling toward Earth. When it hits, the impact will result in the end of all life on the planet.
            >Ambassador Spock travels back in time to subtly warn Earth's inhabitants of impending doom while calling into question humanity's priorities. However, before the truth is told, the all powerful being Q appears and reminds Spock that he is prohibited from interfering in Earth's history. Besides, Q doesn't see mankind as something worth saving.
            >This initial encounter between the two legendary characters explodes into a battle of wits as Spock cleverly befuddles Q with his own words. As barbs are exchanged, and humanity's flaws and wonders are laid bare, Spock's logic just may convince Q that Humans are indeed a species worthy of salvation, but will he be too late?
            >In SPOCK VS. Q, Leonard Nimoy and John de Lancie again bring their characters to glorious life in the most lively and entertaining debate since Nixon vs. Kennedy. Recorded in front of a live audience, SPOCK VS. Q is a stirring audio program that could only come from Alien Voices.
            has a sequel
            >Spock vs. Q: The Sequel

            • 1 month ago
              Anonymous

              torrent pls

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                >torrent
                go to myanonamouse.net (mostly for audiobooks.. and books) and follow instructions for creating a free account, search for torrents, in title field put "Star Trek Audio Books part1"

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            God, I hate Star Trek

            • 1 month ago
              Anonymous

              thats Highly Illogical

            • 1 month ago
              Anonymous

              Star Trek is the worst of franchises, the setting is in some ways worse to live in than 40k.
              The bullshit is just covered up by a veneer of soft pajama-clad technological socialism

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                >the setting is in some ways worse to live in than 40k
                >which sacrifices 10,000 psychics every day to keep the hyperspace highways running
                explain

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                At least there the scumbag gods struggle to influence real space, while in Trek despite trying to hold itself up as scientific any of the random space gods pissing around are omnipotent and could wipe out your entire civilization on a petty whim.

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                homie you can hate star trek all you want but what you said made no fricking sense

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                Nah you're just an idiot. Look at the Husnock.
                Not just a single world being pulled into the warp after concentrated effort, an entire star civilization being wiped out in an instant because a single god got upset.

                Might as well go back to being scared of thunder and dying of dysntery in your mud hut, since that sort of mindset is now proven true.

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                >Pissy noguns atheioid

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                >in Trek despite trying to hold itself up as scientific any of the random space gods pissing around are omnipotent and could wipe out your entire civilization on a petty whim.
                I mean, don't you kinda feel that way, knowing the nuclear arsenal theoretically at the service of people like Putin and XJP and whoever the frick leads the pajeets and pakis

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                Nuclear war is overrated

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                They don't even have enough yield to frick up the USA let alone the world you drama queen. We used to burn down society and every other generation, just look at the Napoleonic Wars or the 30 Years war.

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                >Napoleonic Wars or the 30 Years war.
                getting all of the dumbest fricks you can find together in a muddy field and slaughtering them every 20 years doesn't count as "burning down society" you idiot. total war is quite a bit different

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                Genetically europe is still suffering the consequences of the Napoleonic era.

                Wars 1600 onward have been really demographically unsustainable in a way wars previously rarely were. The sections of society in age and disposition that they've removed have not only been more completely excised, but also more narrow in the range they effected. Losing ten thousand men doesn't sound like such a big deal, but if you lose the ten thousand (just an example to illustrate the point) tallest men in your society once every 30 years, guess what happens?
                A far simpler version of this effect was observed in the world wars, where military leadership had to come to understand that 100 villages losing one man was nothing, but 1 village losing 100 men would cripple an entire area for generations to come.

                Demographic damage is something we really struggle to understand as a species, even though it's fairly straightforward. We're just not used to problems that only show signs of damage after you're completely fricked and there's no solution.

              • 4 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                >We're just not used to problems that only show signs of damage after you're completely fricked and there's no solution.
                the majority of humans can't plan their fricking finances 12 months ahead, let alone shit like that

              • 4 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                The majority of humans are sub-85 IQ darkies anon. I never attribute to incompetence what I can attribute to either malice or moronic homosexual ideals. Ironically both the libtards and nazis have no fricking clue how population dynamics and selective pressure actually work because they are both collectivist philosophies which operated based on emotionality rather than cold merciless models. I really hope my faction gets power I want to these little homosexuals to scream when they realize that all the "evil" races and nazi caricatures they've put in their fiction are insects compared to us. No ultimatums, no listening to moral speeches, just murder first and questions never. The most expedient solution to our problems is to just kill everybody who doesn't belong, and if they can resist effectively then clearly we miscalculated their worth and they can be permitted to live separately if not with us.

              • 4 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                The 30 Years War killed somewhere between 4 and 8 million people, out of a total European population of less than 80 million. The First World War is a border skirmish by comparison.

            • 1 month ago
              Anonymous

              >Spiritual development bad
              >Atheist materialism... LE GOOD!!!
              Post your gun.

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                what? I thought I was on /x/ for a second there

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                The show is dumb

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                Its trash intentionally dumbed down to make the writing no-effort for the lowest common denominator.

                Hence the scripts literally being "Insert Technobabble here" garbage.

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                >show is dumb

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      They did it at least twice, with the Indian planet being ceded to the Cardies, and Turkana IV the rape-gang planet.

  70. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Star Trek is so stupid

  71. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Yeah it's terrible thank God there are Star Trek threads for me to post in so I can remind people about how much I despise Star Trek.

  72. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    If star trek were real I'd be a loser trying to do loomis all day but getting nowhere
    As a kid my dream would be to get into starfleet but obviously as a mediocre person that would never happen and so I'd spend the rest of my life shitting on starfleet, calling them slaves and homosexuals

  73. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Third-class technician, responsible for the ship's chicken soup vending machines.

  74. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    I know frick all about Star Trek, seen a few episodes of TNG. What's an Archaeologist in universe? I reckon they'd have something for me to do

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Picard is actually a somewhat accomplished archaeologist as a private pursuit, and he's well enough known in the field that he gets invited to speak at functions occasionally.

      So we know that Archaeology is a major field of study in Star Trek, there are many museums, researchers, and collectors in that realm.

  75. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Yeah I'd be captain

  76. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    All things said and done, I would be Geordi La Forge. An Engineer by trade and I am pretty damn good at it.

  77. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    The Q (and all the other magical space gods) are a fricking cancer on the setting.
    Its even more fantasy bullshit writing than seen in Star Wars with the supernatural cosmic force and mystic dudes running around in robes with laser swords.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      I love the Q.

  78. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Section 31

  79. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Ensign
    Holodeck Gooner

  80. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Imagine willingly joining a ranked hierarchy where you don't get paid and will have to listen to TNG era sanctimony drilled into your head every day for a 5 year mission and the inner circle of officers are all likely to get your mycologist ass killed on some random curiosity

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >Imagine willingly joining a ranked hierarchy where you don't get paid and will have to listen to TNG era sanctimony
      sometimes things get exciting
      https://ia800900.us.archive.org/34/items/TrekTunes/Stiiv-Acts%20of%20War.mp3

  81. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    While most of you plebs would be spending 20 hours a day in the holodeck jerking off to some Bolian exchange student girl from your academy days and following the moronic orders of a bald dipshit who has repeatedly broken the prime directive, I'll be cruising the galaxy with my sticky fingers collecting and obtaining interesting curiosities by many means necessary

  82. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I'll be the one responsible for that when the computer beeps and goes "shields at 30%" that info is up to date and correct.

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