If you were in his position, what reforms would you create in order to make your military capable of successfully occupying Ukraine?

If you were in his position, what reforms would you create in order to make your military capable of successfully occupying Ukraine?

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  1. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    1. Fire everyone
    2. Hire a Western PMC to train everyone up
    3. Use my private army to crush the oligarchs and achieve total power
    4. Establish the domestic industries necessary to supply the army on the buck broken backs of the opposition

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      His and Russia's issues stem back to the Soviet era where a great deal of what seemed to the west as Russian engineering, manufacturing, etc were in fact sourced from other nations subjected by the Soviets while Moscow largely just reaped the spoils. Once the USSR fell Russia was left toothless and without any serious economic power beyond becoming an oversized oil nation, but Putin's thinking was still very much that Russia could do on it's own what the Soviets relied on other nations for (the man isn't an economic mastermind, obviously), and this would lead to a lot of bullshit that was oversold to him by people who just wanted a quick promotion/gibs and to not develop sudden suicidal thoughts as a side effect of a large hole in the back of their heads. Russia would have had to properly reinvent itself in the 90's to avoid what it's become today, and Putin simply wasn't the man for such a job. Now? It's too late, best I could muster is and maybe start cozying up/kissing ass towards western powers while using China as a boogie man and energy as a carrot.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      >to crush the oligarchs

      Congratulations, you have just decided to go after the most wealthy and influential people in your country. In fact, these are the very people who keep you in power, because you previously let them get away with being corrupt in exchange for their loyalty. You will be getting a visit from Agent 47 shortly.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      >2. Hire a Western PMC to train everyone up
      No Western PMCs would want to risk their companies getting blacklisted by Western countries.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Thats not how this works. Russian culture is incompatible with western style warfare and military Tradition.
      Even backnin ancient times when rome was the top dog and eastwrn empires like pontus tried to get their own legions, they never matched the original. Despite roman turncoats training the everliving shit out of recruits, there is something about roman culture and legions than requires you to be born and raised a roman to fricking work.

      Best thing outin could have done is not invade ukraine and basically play thw political game and pretend russia is still a big threat.
      Whoever inherits putina clusterfrick will be in the same shitty position as austria hungary was on 1917.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      >Hire a Western PMC to train everyone up.
      Most PMCs wouldn't be caught dead working for russoids or chicoms.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        >Most PMCs wouldn't be caught dead working for russoids or chicoms.

        Funny, PMCs take Chinese money a lot when they guard their BRI projects all over Africa.

  2. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    immediately begin suicidal drug orgy

  3. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    I would reform my head to have a big hole in it.
    Everything should start to improve after that

  4. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Get rid of old junk by selling it off. Should have donated them to allies, and get closer to various militias to make them proxies.

    Fix logistics. Make sure troops are well-fed and aren't demoralized. Get the AK-12/15 situation fixed. Make newer sniper rifles.

  5. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    I would lock myself in my underground hockey ice rink at the Cape Idokopas complex. I would then run around, take judo poses and juggle pens to my heart’s content, proud of my form and manliness. Ignore all the noises from the outside and enjoy the last few hours of my life. A wholesome end to it all.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      >juggle pens
      wut?

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        Back in 2021, Russian media made a lot of fuss over a clip of Putin catching a pen that was rolling off of a table. They painted it as a sign of him having great reaction and dexterity, which should definitely have a positive effect on his rule. The fact that something as mundane as catching a pen is viewed as a great feat in Putin’s Russia is quite comical.

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          Love me some cult of personality.

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          it's pretty funny because what comes to my mind when hearing that anecdote is "oh right, he's an experienced pencil-pusher." it's mostly the schoolboys and public servants who have the leisure to practice their pen tricks.

  6. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    It's not possible. Once the Ukrainians decided to fight and the west decided to send arms it was over for Russia.

  7. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    1. Remove all Russians from the chain of command
    This will naturally solve all other problems

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Who's gonna be in charge then?

  8. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >1. Buy a bible
    >2. Start praying

  9. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    1) dissolve the puccia pederastry
    2) kill ruskies

  10. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >cease special military operations
    >plan urgent press conference
    >come out as trans
    >new name is "Vlada putiniya"
    >welcomed into NATO with open arms and complimented for my stunning bravery

  11. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    1. Stop the invasion
    2. Cede all occupied territory
    3. Dismantle the FSB
    4. Reform the entire system
    5. Call to free and fair elections
    6. Resign along entire cabinet
    7. Be indicted or flee to retirement
    8. Let Russia be reborn as a true democracy
    9. Expose all former and present collaborators
    10. Let things run their rightful course

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Inventing a time machine and killing Marx and Engels in the womb to undo the severe damage Communism did to the Russian people in the first place.

      Ergo it's too fricking late now, the economy and logistics are fricked and the chain of command is moronic from the near century long brain drain on the population. You can't just undo this with the snap of your fingers, this damage will take another century to heal at best, and moron wars like these will protract it. Ukraine isn't worth it for Russia, and it never was, but they didn't know to leave well enough alone.

      That sounds good, but it's not as easy as that. Curing a post-communist kleptocracy is hard.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        >Curing a post-communist kleptocracy is hard
        honestly this, the corrupt few with connections will likely continue to have connections no matter how the power structure morphs with regime change

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        >Inventing a time machine and killing Marx and Engels in the womb to undo the severe damage Communism did to the Russian people in the first place.
        Russia produced Ivan the Terrible without communism. They need a war that utterly destroys them and rubs it into their face that they can never rule.

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          Ok, let me put it this way, Communism did nothing to make Russia better.

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            It killed a whole lot of Russians, I'd call that an improvement
            Just too bad it didn't stick

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      too bad ruskies are subhuman snowmonkeys ant that democratic shit wouldn't work with their ape society

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      roll

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      >Russia becomes a democracy
      >Immediately votes in someone worse than Putin because they are a slave race that craves the feeling of being under someone else's control

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        Let them balkanize.

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          balkanization won't work, there are no "croats/serbs" division among russians, they're all equally subhuman

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      rolling

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      >Let Russia be reborn as a true democracy
      queue the next crisis with a dictator coming out on top

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Putin would be fricking killed or jailed if he took his foot off the government now.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        Got to break some eggs

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      >3. Dismantle the FSB

      you're not doing that without being assassinated, anon. that'd be about as silly as a president trying to dismantle the CIA or DHS

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      >3. Dismantle the FSB
      >4. Reform the entire system
      Don't forget
      11. a pony
      12. letter E stricken from english alphabet

  12. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    More vdv and banan

  13. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Fire all my senior staff out of a hospital window
    Dismantle FSB and provide senior staff with comfy paychecks to not get an hero'd with all of the savings from above
    Restart intelligence agency
    Hire outside contractors to train troops
    Hire outside contractors to inspect my cold war-era tanks
    Wait years for things to settle down in Russia
    Stop threatening the hell out of Ukraine and giving them Western support
    Stage the little green men occupation in early 2022
    With Ukraine occupied stage training exercise with Belarus
    Blitzkrieg to Kyiv in the summer

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      >Fire all my senior staff out of a hospital window

  14. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Wouldn't even try. Just get it over with, launch any nukes that are capable of launching at targets all over the world, detonate everything else where it sits in its silo.

  15. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Not possible; it's too late for reforms now.

  16. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Get in front of the UN and say "Black person" in well spoken English, smirk, and walk away from the mic.

  17. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    use nukes

  18. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    You don't. Russia can't support a quality military of that size.

  19. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Dissolve the entire military except the nuclear branch.
    >defensive capability unchanged
    >offensive capability unchanged
    >lots of money to turn into dacha

  20. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >what reforms would you create in order to make your military capable of successfully occupying Ukraine?
    Complete withdrawal from Ukraine, surrender and balkanize russia. Become a colonel in the Ukrainian military. The nazis are finally defeated. Ukraine and it's new protectorate state, the Grand Duchy of Muscovy are finally united. Please europe buy gas we're starving no no don't wear sweaters they're a nazi globohomosexual plot

  21. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    id blow up all the nuke plants then have an army of NBC dudes take the place over. let the whole country reforest over

  22. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    It's not possible in his lifetime. He literally destroyed his army along with any fear/respect it may have once had in the world. It will take at least a generation to unfrick this disaster.

  23. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    1. Increase foreign propaganda interference x4

    2. Increase the manpower by x4

    3. Increase humanitarian aid x4

    4. Create my own military industrial complex with ally oligarchs to fund and equip operations globally

    5. Declare a "special diplomatic status" with Ukraine - to allow a more direct intervention in the government of Ukraine (hosting their elections for them)

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      >just increase everything
      how does russia pay for your plan moron

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        BRICS/ become a debt economy like the US

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          But none of the other pricks actually like russia

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            its time to wake up to the real world bud

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        You can only become a debt economy if creditors think you are good for your debt.
        When was the last time anyone of any reasonable wealth seriously considered putting sizable investment into Russian bonds?

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          february 23, 2022

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            Hardly. The Australian bond market is larger than Russia's. Which is really saying something because the country consists of about 5 people and a handful of weird animals

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      >Increase the manpower by x4
      idk how to tell you this but 9 women can't produce a baby in 1 month

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        I think that mindset is one of the reasons Communism is such a bust.

  24. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >Withdraw from Ukraine for now
    >Trust busy the oligarchs
    >Make reforms to join the EU and NATO
    >Reform tax system to address inequality but also still incentivize investment and achievement
    >Invest heavily in education
    >Decriminalize dissent
    >Install meritocratic system of administration by educated technocrats who are nonetheless under the management of elected officials.
    >Hold free and fair elections
    >Step down when I lose or after reforms have stuck
    >Win the security and riches the war v was started for in the first place and then some.

  25. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    there's nothing he can do. you can't have an elite military with a country based on graft and corruption.

  26. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >What if Hitler wasn't Hitler?
    Super common fallacy. But it's all in good fun so I'll bite.

    The ROOT problem of the Russian military (particularly the Army) are the low-quality human material which makes up most of it. I'm talking about useless, lazy, ineffective minorities -- Chechens, Mongols, Asiatics, Tatars, etc etc etc and so on. I would be make in a TOP priority to bring in high-quality white Slavs (ie, "real" Russians). I'd make them into their own units, not disperse them amongst the minority trash.

    At the same time I'd be doing the same with the officers corps. I'd filter them first by IQ -- I only want to smartest guys in this role. I'd be working with the universities to identify promising people and bring them in. I'd set these guys up to report DIRECTLY TO ME. Not that they'd do it for regular military ops but if they see something bad happening they are expected to report it directly to me. What that does is make these men feel secure in the face of corruption and political BS. They know that the boss has their back and anyone who tries to rob or embezzle or otherwise harm the forces will NOT win in a confrontation. Nobody can pull rank on them.

    That's really it. Once the ball starts rolling, changes in the nature of the military will move into a positive direction. Eventually even the low-quality people will move up in quality and become at least useful.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      >I would be make in a TOP priority to bring in high-quality white Slavs (ie, "real" Russians).
      Since when were you under the impression that there are any left? They all fled to other countries when the Communists started their slaughter or used as disposable trash in previous conflicts. Talking about Amerimutts is projection for Russoids.

  27. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Politically and socially destabilize the West to make them focus on their domestic issues and lessen their support on Ukraine.

  28. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >successfully occupying Ukraine
    Don't think any nation's military would be capable of occupying Ukraine at this point, it's Afghanistan on fricking crack.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      i want to (gently) grab those ears and wiggle them

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        Do not touch the elf.

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          but
          i
          m u s t

  29. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >CTRL+F
    >T-14
    >0 results
    Literally a dozen of these would change the tide of war.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      *LITERALLY!*

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        I am purposefully using "literally" there you moron. If 16 Amerimutt shit launchers can cause the Russians trouble imagine what 12 T-14 tanks could do in return.

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          >imagine what 12 T-14 tanks could do in return.
          I LITERALLY CAN'T! LITERALLY!

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          Not much more than 12 t90's, I assure you. They're more capable tanks, but they're still just tanks. Long range guided rocket artillery is a demonstrably larger force multiplier

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            It also doesn't really matter how good the tanks are if the first thing they do is drive them into a minefield or straight into the damn river

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          You can't just rely on Ukies laughing themselves to death after the T14 blows up by Javelin.

          • 2 years ago
            Anonymous

            Okay, I'll grant you the scenario where they somehow manage to destroy one T-14, what are they going to do about the 11 other ones barreling down on them?

            • 2 years ago
              Anonymous

              Destroy them too?

        • 2 years ago
          Anonymous

          >Americans rely too much on fancy technology
          >Javelin?
          >$300k for the aiming unit, $150k per missile
          >Abrams?
          >too much money, T-64 is cheaper, it's rugged, battle proven, so many other countries use T-64
          >F-35?
          >lmao it cannot dogfight or turn at all, no cobra maneuver, BVR is a meme!

          >T-14 Armata?
          >New and improved autoloader
          >New 125mm gun and ammunition with it
          >Turret is completely controlled electrically, all the crew is safe and away from the ammo using blowout panels, now no one will sit in the carousel, very very safe.
          >Latest thermals/optics, achieve full vision spectrum for target effectiveness.
          >360 degree CCTV Cameras instead of port views for full operational awareness.
          >Newest APS Hard-kill technology, Afghanit

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      they'd be worse, fricking up logistics more both in what are now unobtanium parts and super special ammo for it's 130mm gun that is used on no other AFV in the Russian arsenal.

      I even doubt it's protection and survivability as I have my doubts on the armor around the crew compartment and the fact that they are to my knowledge, still using the fricking carousel of doom.

  30. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >If you were in his position, what reforms would you create in order to make your military capable
    Give back all the money that you and your cronies stole from the government, and then hire a far better army, like the Vermont National Guard to fight for you, but you'll still lose. Russists are total fricking failures in war, civilization, and humanity.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      >hire a far better army, like the Vermont National Guard to fight for you
      Honestly that's roughly where they are now, except the best they could find is Wagner.
      It's still absolutely embarrassing that the putative #2 military in the world is entrusting all the significant military action to mercs.

  31. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    IT'S TOO LATE TO APOLOGIZE, IT'S TOO LATE

  32. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Raise an army 10 million screamin' Chinamen. Promise them that upon victory they each get a farm in Ukraine and a fertile Russian wife.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      hell I'd join up for that

  33. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >Send long range bombers onto bombing runs into "military targets"
    >Make it known that one in 10 carry a nuclear weapon as deterence from keeping it shot down.
    >Actually put one in every bomber
    >Use the safety of my air force as a nuclear form of "im not touching you, you are touching me"
    >level half of ukraine
    >win through attrition and china helping me rush to the table for peace favorable to me

  34. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >Offer to be annexed by Estonia as a semi-autonomous province
    >Get trained up and kitted up by NATO friends
    >Invite Chinese diplomatic and economic mission to Vladivostok
    >Kill the chinksects
    >Blame it on extremists
    >Repeat above 2 steps until China retaliates or chinksects are wiped out
    >If China retaliates, roll them with Russia's now NATO-ised army
    >Force North Chinese to adopt Mongolian as their sole language
    >Vietnamese for the South
    >Japanese for South East
    >Korean for Central East
    >Hindi for Western regions
    >Leave China
    >Retire

  35. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Go back, stop him from giving Kudrin and hilarionov and everyone else who actually fixed the russian economy the axe, then use better economy to have functional military, and recruits that aren't there just to avoid starvation.

  36. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    The full occupation of Ukraine, even with full mobilization, isn't possible. There's a Ukie with a Javelin behind every bush at this point. The attrition I'd have to suffer would make me a legitimate target for a rogue Poland and China, and screaming I'M GONNA NOOK won't cut it.

    The best that can be done, even with a reformed military, would at this point be maintaining a stranglehold on Crimea. Cede anything Ukie territory north of Crimea, consolidate force there, and put out the olive branch. Europe will (because Europeans are freshly fricked veganas) put the onus on the Ukrainians at that point to sue for peace, and will start withholding aid, seeing the Ukies at that point as the aggressor against a poor, emasculated Russia. Have a set of sham referendums and elections thrown in Crimea, and make a big push for UN recognition. Do everything I can to make tankies/MAGA gays/doomer contrarians join forces and believe the PR offensive. Obfuscate everything and spin every casualty as a noble sacrifice.

    From there, establish an NCO corps. The corruption is still perfectly manageable with one...easier, if I'm being honest. But having someone who can better crack the whip on the peasant conscripts is better than having LT Kleptokravich trying to herd a pack of krokodil-addled morons. Throw the chief of military logistics under the bus. Throw a kangaroo court and make his execution widely known. Put in an oligarch's kid and unfrick the supply chain. Have the FSB crack skulls to get the corruption to be more manageable,

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      You need to be 18 or older to shill here

  37. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Here's a fun scenario
    >Putin in a dementia induced delirium appoints every one's favorite war criminal strelkov, as supreme commander of Russia's armed forces
    >How do things play out from here on?
    >Bonus round: Strelkov is given the reigns from the start of the invasion.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Yeah because putting him in charge of anything worked wonderfully in the past.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Girkin would have done a shit job as well trying to brute force things.
      He would not have been patient enough and savy enough to navigate their thoroughly corrupt system and he'd have gotten shot, poisoned or even publicly hanged very quickly the moment he declared mobilization. If he was in charge of everything back in 2014 probably even then still, despite the ukies barely having any real ability to fight back.

  38. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Heroic ending.

  39. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Moar rape

  40. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    I just would not be in his position. If i was a glowie with kompromat and had to keep 1000 boyars happy to stay alive i would not be me, i would be Putin.

  41. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    I'd get a couple heavy leather straps and some steel rings, maybe a couple hefty lads from Yakutsk. I'd give them specific instructions and also instructions for my security forces to follow my initial instructions to the letter, no matter how loud I screamed or what I said in the ensuing carnage. I would have the lads strap my knees behind my head and then insert the steel rings into my mouth. Then I would hang the entire apparatus from a thick beam carved from the heart of a Caucasian Fir, and line up 10,000 men from Grozny and the surrounding area, to rape my mouth and anus, to be gentle with me as a mother bear to a cub as they deposit gallons upon gallons of semen inside of me.

  42. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Honestly I’d just start running
    and I don’t mean escape, I mean literally take off running in a single direction and hope I can reach a place where nobody knows who I am. Then I’d find a nice badger hole, climb inside, and live underground for the rest of my life

  43. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Too little too late. The war is lost. His best bet would be cessate the conflict immediately and work to have the sanctions relaxed. But that is unthinkable both for him and for the Russian mindset, so he will continue to bang his head against the wall until he has no choice.

  44. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    I'd just steal more money for my secret place

  45. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >Cede all occupied territories everywhere
    >Create independent states east of the Urals
    >Nationalize every industry in the country, it's shit, but better than having them with the oligarchs
    >Dismantle the FSB
    >Dismantle the parties
    >Declare free and fair election for a constitutional council to decide on a new constitution within 1 year
    >Me and all former elites and oligarchs ineligible for election for any position
    >Make human rights, democracy, total transparency of the state and a slow reprivatization required parts of this constitution
    I'd die somewhere in the middle of this, but at least I tried.

  46. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    I pooed mah pands! 😀

  47. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Call a press confirence in which I announce the invasion was "just a joke" and that I "can't believe everyone fell for it." I'd chide the international community for "taking it so seriously", tell them to "lighten up, jeez" then lock myself in my office and play video games until someone forces entry.

  48. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    glass entirety of russia and let eu and nato roll in.

  49. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    1. Kill myself
    2.-5. hand out marshmallows or something idk

  50. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Putin, rolling those digits
    > checks out

  51. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    I would spend every penny on time machine research because that's the only way to unover this mess. He has fricked the entire economy of his country for at least his own lifetime but probably several decades.

  52. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    First thing he needs to do is kill himself after that frick it, because there's no one in that country with the integrity or intelligence to carry out the neccessary reforms to change anything.

  53. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Start by knowing what you’re about to really get into so that if you still choose to invade, you invade properly using your actual armed forces and not some gimped SMO version where many motor rifle battalions didn’t even have infantry since most infantry are conscripts.

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