I saw Paul at a Gun store in Oregon yesterday.

I saw Paul at a Gun store in Oregon yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and tell him I tracked him easy or anything.
He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?”
I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his box of remington green and white box shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen Baretta M9 Mags in his hands without paying.
The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter.
When she took one of the Mags and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to Bag them each individually “to prevent any hypersteel fabrical spring tension,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each Mag and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by Shatner esque pausing really loudly.

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  1. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Sans reddit spacing.
    Good job

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      It's copypasta edited for /k/ the original had a grocery store and candy bars.

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        I saw Flying Lotus at a grocery store in Los Angeles yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything.
        He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?”
        I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen Milky Ways in his hands without paying.
        The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter.
        When she took one of the bars and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each bar and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly.

  2. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >pausing really loudly
    lost

  3. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >on this episode of things that didn't happen

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Of course it didnt fricking happen you plebbit moron. Holy frick people can't tell this is an obvious joke?

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Jesus I hope you're trolling. How new are you?

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      I'm jerkin it to ya, bud.

  4. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    He can't be stopped...

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      wow even paul isn't above capitalizing on this shooting.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Does he give tips on how to do better in the future?

  5. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >he kept interrupting her by Shatner esque pausing really loudly.

  6. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    This happened to me when I was in college a long time ago. Still the weirdest thing to happen to me by far.
    >Driving from U of Oregon in Eugene back home to Boise for fall break
    >get started late, by the time I hit central Oregon it’s dark
    >for those not familiar with the area, once you get east of the Cascades, it starts to get real isolated real fricking quick
    >driving on 2 lane highway through the dark when I hit something in the road
    >probably some shit that fell off someone’s truck
    >engine starts making weird noises and check engine light comes on
    >FRICK
    >start looking for place to pull off and try to find a mechanic
    >pull onto this farm to market road
    >drive about a mile and see a farm supply store with the lights still on
    >couple locals sitting outside, drinking and smoking
    >I get out and try to introduce myself, but they’re acting bizarre as frick
    >start losing their shit over how nice my car is and how they never see anything like it out there
    >…my car is some rusted piece of shit imported from god knows where
    >next they start talking about how amazing my shoes are
    >my broke ass literally bought these shoes from some tweaker in downtown Portland after my old ones gave out
    >creeped out by these guys, decide to go inside
    >kind looking old dude at the counter
    >when he sees me walk in, he starts ranting incomprehensibly about some numbers that grow in the soil (?)
    >wtf is this place
    >look around the shop, pretty typical looking country store
    >look in one of the seed bins
    >it’s filled with fricking gummy bears
    >alright frick this
    >rush out of there, decide to take my chances with the car
    I’ve driven down that road multiple times since, but I’ve never been able to find that weird fricking gummy bear store again. I try not to think about it.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      you almost became hillbilly bum frick meat, some real deliverance shit

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      I think I've been there, was it Brothel before it became a Seed store?

      • 2 years ago
        Anonymous

        Yeah, I think it was owned by some dude name Chuck or something like that.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      This is literally just the town of Burns, nothing weird about it.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      frick you

  7. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    This is an edited copypasta incase you morons were unaware.

  8. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    This man should be isolated from society. Here's a video that he doesn't want you to see, good thing I downloaded it just before he deleted it.
    In this video Paul shoots his rifle and then states the year when he killed someone:

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      >1967.
      He'd be like what 9-10? He's been dropping motherfrickers since he was a boy!

  9. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    I hear you. He's a little thin skinned. I saw Paul Harrell at a Costco in Oregon and I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a pain and bother him and ask him for photos or anything. He said, “As always don't try this at home"

    I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Professional?” but he kept cutting me off and going “I'm what you call a professional? I'm what you call a professional? I'm what you call a professional?” and closing his coat pockets shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him firing at a meat target as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen 2 liter cola bottles in his hands without paying.

    The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, is .380 effective for self defense? let's find out, shall we?.” At first he kept pretending to be zeroing his M4 and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter.

    When she took one of the 2 liters and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually because “Seems like it works just fine to me,” and then turned around and shot me for driving across his campfire at him. I don’t even think thats a word. After she scanned each 2 liter bottle of cola and put them in his coat pockets and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by throwing knives at a log really loudly.
    Kind of weird, honestly

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Underrated

  10. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    please post the vietnam pasta

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      Please post the vietnam

  11. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >Be 8
    >Beg parents for a dog night and day for like a month
    >They finally cave, and we get a freebie puppy from one of the neighbors.
    >It's a Collie, name it Sniffer, because he was always sniffing stuff (I was 8)
    >Me and him are instabros, go everywhere together
    >Do stupid stuff together like bestfriends. I get shocked trying to get over an electric fence, Sniffer starts barking and jumps through it, get's shocked too.
    >My dad builds a hay fort, Sniffer and me are always in there. Not sure why I put this, but I just felt that I should say it.
    >Come home one day, Sniffer is walking funny and whining.
    >Comes over to me, licks my hand
    >I look at his legs, he's got a thorn in his paw
    >Go inside, grab my pellet gun
    >Stroke his stomach while i put the gun up to the back of his head
    >Fire, a tear of sadness trickles down my face
    >Sniffer starts yelping and runs off, leaving red stains in the yard
    >Run back inside to grab another pellet.
    >Chase after Sniffer and hold him down. Line up my shot and shoot him in the back of the head
    >Sniffer starts convulsing badly
    >Run back inside and grab another pellet
    >Go to Sniffer's convulsing body and shoot him once more in the back of the head
    >Stops convulsing
    >Finally, be at peace my friend.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      jej, it's been a minute

  12. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    I saw him looking at chicken breast once I think he mumbled "that's ridiculous" under his breath and put it back, when he turned around I adverted my gaze.

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      I don't blame him, fricking israelites at the local grocery had packages of 3 chicken breast for like $35. Frick that shit.

  13. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Please post the vietnam

  14. 2 years ago
    Anonymous
  15. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    The hero /k/ needs, but doesn't deserve.

  16. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    >Mark LaRue pasta
    newbies will never know the origin

  17. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    I really owe this dude an apology, I claimed I met him on an elevator one time.
    one time I was going into an elevator and I met this guy. It was in a place like LA. Apparently.
    “He comes in, says ‘what’s up Bro.’ Presses the button, it’s a true story, presses the button, gets off on his floor by himself, goes to his room. I went and called every person I knew and told the story. They didn’t believe me,”

  18. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    FUNNY POWDER FUNNY POWDER

  19. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    In a self defense situation the only Shatneresque pause is when he reloads

  20. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    Who is this guy?

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      nvm, he was easy to track

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      A liberal anti-gun activist from the commie shithole known as "Oregon"

  21. 2 years ago
    Anonymous
  22. 2 years ago
    Anonymous

    He browses /k/ dumbass

    • 2 years ago
      Anonymous

      There's no way that's true.

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