Your plane crashes. You find a deserted cabin in the mountains.
You're trapped in hundreds of miles of wilderness tasked with feeding and protecting a girls highschool soccer team for several months. The cabin owner's lever action is your sole firearm.
(Serious question) what in wilderness are you using as improvised CLP?
I think you know its cum
Cum Lube and Pussy juice?
>Imagine the smell after you touch a round off
probably not very good, depends if its hot and humid outside
Eventually animal fat rendered… till then you be proactive and keep it clean and dry..
Also the most annoying part of yellowjackets was watching several episodes of them fucking around doing Jack shit…. Jesus folks if you put some effort into preparing you might not be forced to fucking eat each other… WHY DOES NO ONE FISH! Also bows and arrows are a thing… why rely only on the gun?…. Growing up reading Swiss family Robinson, Robinson Crusoe and a few other books really ruined this for me…. Hell even in high school I’m pretty sure I could have done better than they did…
Swiss Family Robinson any good?
Assume I'm retarded, what's the book or episode that'll get me into it
It's a 200 year old book called The Swiss Family Robinson. Or watch either of the movies.
I would try to convince them the rest of society got nuked or died out and we have to repopulate it. Then I would basically laze around all day and make them do everything for me. I guess I'd maybe show them how to weave a net and set a few traps, I don't think they'd make great hunters so I'd try to find a river or lake nearby for them to go fishing. I'm just there to lay down the dick and pretend I sound like I know what I'm doing so they don't all go ape shit and kill one another.
I never read the book but there are a shit ton of movies about it. Start with robinson cursoe movie that had the james bond guy. Then try out a robinson family movie those are more pg since it's a family thing. She was like only 14 but there was also that Blue Lagoon movie too, it's one of those things you'd rather watch growing up it's much less weird than renting it as an adult, but you can rent that shit online now and not have to do it in person at a video store
Great book. Loved the illustrated classic.
If you didn't read it when you were 10, you're ngmi
>women doing nothing in a survival situation
Accurate to reality
God I hate watching that clip. Saw it coming when I first watched it in the actual episode and cringed hard. I want to know whether or not she was instructed to never try to split wood like that.
the obvious real answer is animal fat but anyway
Also for a bunch of people who just saw a bear killed by wolves they were 100% not worrying about wolves enough….
BOY HOWDEE I SURE DO LOVE ME SOME TELEVISION
WHAT SHOWS ARE YOU WATCHING? HAHA THATS A GOOD ONE I LIKE THAT ONE THE GIRL IN IT IS REAL CLEVER SHES REALLY SMART HAHA REALLY STICKS IT TO THE BAD GUYS
YEAH MAN THATS A GOOD ONE
For what it's worth, they aren't bad asses.
Matter of fact they fully depict these girls emotions and backbiting and cliques and unwarranted self-esteem causing half their problems.
For example one girl gets it in her head she can try to fly the (deceased) cabin owner's rusted out Cessna.
The girls get all pumped they're gonna be bad bitch girl bosses.
I don't even think she makes it off the end of the runway before nasty crashing, just like real life.
It's more based than you might expect.
TV is for brainlets
Posting on PrepHole dot org is for the distinguished intellectual.
>before nasty crashing
I'm assuming the bitch dies a horrible death and realizing she ain't all that smart. But it probably was a Hollywood style explosion and that was the end of that and no one learns anything.
How the fuck did it explode like that?
magic
Damn I was right, but yeah how the fuck did it explode like that unless it was targeted by some missile or alien/monsters/supernatural bs because that's all these shitty writers are ever capable of.
No survivors
They expect one of us in the wreckage brother
Wouldn't it make more sense to amplify the planes radio and just radio for help? Inb4 hurr the radio was broken
Even without a flight plan recorded, search and rescue will kick off in about 30-40 hours. Fortunately, plane crashes are pretty easy to spot even in a heavily wooded area. Doubly so if the survivors shacked up in an old cabin and are making daily fucking camp fires/exploding cessnas. These dip shits would be home by week's end tops.
Sabotaged radios because some girls enjoy being victims
Like I said, it's more realistic in depicting women being their own worst problem better than you might expect
Idiotic actions in the woods aside that show has a great soundtrack…
acorns and typical tall grass seeds can be crushed and used to make oil.
also, ive owned a marlin 336 for a couple decades and it belonged to my dad before that, really doesnt need oil.
Fair bet there will be some sort of CLP there if it's a hunting cabin with a gun in it. The big issue for me is ear protection. A .357, .44, or .47-70 is going to fuck your hearing which is critically important in that scenario. Also the VERY limited ammo is an issue. Keep the firearm held back for emergencies and improvise some workable ear protection.
First thing is go through the cabin and log everything we have available to us. There's bound to be tools like saws, hatchets, and/or axes if there's a gun and ammo. Food will be hard but water that won't kill by making you launch your guts out your ass you is a bigger issue. There might be food stored there but it probably would be horribly old or the cabin would've been visited by Yogi and Boo-boo. Almost guaranteed there will be cookware like pots and pans which will be invaluable.
Train the girls to make and use spears as well as all sorts of fun traps, mostly snares, deadfalls, and whackers. If we have spare materials for it make shepherd's slings and teach them how to use them, especially if we get something big with good hide to make the pouches with. Also work on making signs visible from the air. A "three" signal made of downed and delimbed trees on an obviously clear cut patch would be a good start and give us plenty of firewood in the process and can eventually be reconfigured into an "SOS". Arranging things in threes is a universal sign that you need help. Splitting the work over a bunch of people saves energy, makes sure we can get it done, and it can be big. Any fire we make ensure it's smokey, we WANT to be found and someone doing fire watch duty will notice a big column of smoke. If there's a reliable water source that also means fishing. Make fish traps and hand lines. Clear as much brush and crap from the path to the water as possible giving predators nowhere to hide for an ambush and making that trip generally easier. Also would make it more obvious there's people there.
I just realized I should probably have my trap and survival infographics folders on my phone too. Fat lot of good they'd do me on my computer when I'm stuck innawoods potentially hundreds of miles away.
Died from being a fucking nerd holy shit. Ear pro lol.
If you can't hear well because you fired off your levergat unprotected even once that makes hunting harder and being hunted easier. Unlike ear protection you can't just take off deafness. Something as simple as a headband holding a bunch of fabric and cotton layers tight to your ears is better than nothing. Really not hard to come up with a solution to protect your hearing, which again, is really damn important.
You want to survive when stranded innawoods you better learn how to do all sorts of important stuff related to that.
You've never been hunting and you've never fired a gun in the woods.
Hunt whistle pigs in the desert for fun and fired off a nice Marlin .45-70 and an AR in the woods in NE Oregon last 4th of July, the winter before that I had a lot of fun shooting a giant snow pile at the same place with the same guns. Firing a gun unprotected does instant hearing damage even in the middle of the woods or open desert.
You are not hunting recreationally, you are hunting because if you do not get food you will die, it's a survival situation. You need to keep your senses intact as much as you can because you need them to help you get out alive.
You're completely autistic. I think you'd actually manage to escape OP's scenario without getting laid.
Heh, you're not wrong about the tism. Getting laid comes after you're stable because your survival knowledge and the group's teamwork has made sure everyone is fed, watered, and warm. Nobody's going to want to sleep with a clearly useless gay like yourself. You'd probably die in the first week.
All this anger over ear protection and having a plan lol.
First of all, all of the hot girls on the team are leaving pregnant. Second of all, we're not leaving.
>tasked with feeding and protecting a girls highschool soccer team for several months
I think I'd commit suicide even without the plane crash and middle of the woods situation.
based
i let them take turns kicking me in the balls.
put those bitches digging holes for punji traps
>check every other day
plenty of small game, maybe even a deer or fox now and then
Snares, literally vines and bendy trees
again, fishing, making traps from long twigs
foraging parties.
What is this show?
"Yellowjackets". Based on the wikipedia page it sounds like steaming dogshit to me.
Is that the guy from Breakfast Club?
The entire cast of that movie are in their mid 50s or older.
Counterpoint: I'm pretty sure thats the guy from Breakfast Club
I'm 100% certain that's not judd nelson, but I still h ave no idea what movie that is and kind of comment on the off chance someone might actually mention what the movie is even though I won't pay for it.
For the hundredth damn time it's a TV show called "Yellowjackets". It's on Showtime.
>set up large fire outside the cabin
>get rescued within 72 hours
>don't watch mind melting slop when I return to the world
>what in wilderness are you using as improvised CLP?
Animal fat.
>months
...you are joking right? In what fucking scenario would you need to lube the gun if you will only use it that ONE time someone actually shows up. Lube isn't a constant necessity if you store it properly.
So you're going to feed these girls meat exactly one time ... even if they get pregnant
Be real man, for a whole soccer team, no access to artificial refrigeration to store meat long term, you're probably out hunting or fishing almost daily.
Cum Lube (Penis) just like I was issued
all domestic flights are monitored by the faa
if one crashes, esp. on the continent, they know approximately where and when
I would build a large fire in a nearby clearing and throw a bunch of green shit on it to make a ton of smoke
either rescue teams or local firefighting agencies would respond and we would be found
then I would go back home to my wife and not tell her about the sexual tension because she would be jealous, even if she didn't admit it