How would the US military deal with an angel?

How would the US military deal with an angel?

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  1. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Submit or lose

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      FPBP

      Probably make the angel really uncomfortable with terrible interpretations of the bible until he leaves voluntarily.

      Third post not bad either.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      https://i.imgur.com/YPidaze.jpg

      /tg/ cross-poster passing by:
      Wrestle them. Angels can brandish swords of hot plasma, they can decimate entire cities and armies by raining down pillars of flame, but if you get naked, physically confront them, and grapple them they're powerless. Jacob successfully managed to wrestle an Angel into submission, the Angels that God sent to go find 10 good men in Sodom and Gomorah had to be sheltered by Lot lest they literally be gang raped into oblivion, there's historical precedence is the point.

      both of these

      Jacob had God to support him.
      The angels in Soddom and Gomorrah never had to actually defend themselves and were just observing the situation, see if there were enough good men to defend them from criminals or whatever.
      If angels are so easy to beat then the devil must be a huge joke

      >the devil must be a huge joke
      the devil and his demons are the weakest creatures because if you are with God, who is against you? One brick should be enough to deal with any and all demonic threats

  2. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Probably make the angel really uncomfortable with terrible interpretations of the bible until he leaves voluntarily.

  3. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    /tg/ cross-poster passing by:
    Wrestle them. Angels can brandish swords of hot plasma, they can decimate entire cities and armies by raining down pillars of flame, but if you get naked, physically confront them, and grapple them they're powerless. Jacob successfully managed to wrestle an Angel into submission, the Angels that God sent to go find 10 good men in Sodom and Gomorah had to be sheltered by Lot lest they literally be gang raped into oblivion, there's historical precedence is the point.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      I'm pretty sure what is going to be an interdimensional being able to warp the laws of physics were just given super narrow RoE regarding Daniel and Lot.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      God manifesting as human weakness on Earth is kinda common, considering he also sent His only son to Earth as a defenseless infant, who would grow up to be publicly tortured to death

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      That angussy finna be violated

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        poundable
        plump
        angussy

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        https://i.imgur.com/22KDT8Q.jpg

        poundable
        plump
        angussy

        Sodomites never learn, enjoy being salty pillars for all of eternity

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          I'm on the angles side, Ser.

          • 1 year ago
            Anonymous

            Ah goin for a reach around too I see, extra sulfur soup for you

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        We wouldn't. Most soldiers and people in general in the US are God-fearing Christians, or at least wouldn't fight an angel.
        Supposing we could stop one, we would have no reason to, unless you were a Satanist or something.
        Actually, that might make the angel inclined to strike down a double digit percentage of our military and civilian leadership.

        https://i.imgur.com/22KDT8Q.jpg

        poundable
        plump
        angussy

        pic related

        Angels are weird. Are they not lesser gods? How do monotheist justify the existence of angels?
        Obviously they'll explode if you point this out

        simple: they don't recognize them as gods.
        your question is entirely dependent on the definition of a god, which varies from religion to religion greatly

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        https://i.imgur.com/22KDT8Q.jpg

        poundable
        plump
        angussy

        [...]
        Sodomites never learn, enjoy being salty pillars for all of eternity

        I wouldn't imagine many people on PrepHole would be able to resist trying to take an Angel down to pound town. That's kind of the nature of supernatural divine beauty and the poetic flaw: nothing more satisfying and carnal than soiling and sodomizing it.
        Indra, a Buddhist/Hindu god, was said to have planted a number of trees in the forest surrounding his summer home that grew full-sized "living frickable fruit women" that were so unfathomably beautiful that any mortal man who couldn't control his carnal desires would pick the fruit and frick the fruit for 4 months straight (which if you had magical powers would completely exhaust them). He did this to protect his *even more beautiful* wife from mortal men.

        Jacob had God to support him.
        The angels in Soddom and Gomorrah never had to actually defend themselves and were just observing the situation, see if there were enough good men to defend them from criminals or whatever.
        If angels are so easy to beat then the devil must be a huge joke

        >then the devil must be a huge joke

        The *Devil is a huge joke- that's his major character flaw/issue.
        The Devil/Lucifer betrayed God and refused to serve humanity, grossly misconstrueing his own relationship with God, and took 1/3rd the Host of Angels with him to rebel against the system. He got beat up by either ?Jesus or Archangel Michael? (depending on who's telling the story) and has been kind of seething and coping ever since.
        Thomas Aquinas (though I don't think his work is canonical?) said the Devil flees in the presence of charity. Lucifer hates himself, hates his 'friends', suffers from imposter syndrome, and *knows* it's cool to be nice and good and creation isn't "that bad", but his pride would never allow him to publicly admit it. Hell, unironically, isn't inherently bad, but Lucifer makes it bad because he's a charismatic dysfunctional wojack.

        *Keep in mind that Satan, "Ha-Satan", is not the Devil/Lucifer. Satan is a title given to Angels that criticize God and Humanity, even acting a little antagonistic at times, but are otherwise acting within God's will and permission.

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          The Indians are the biggest coomers in existence

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      Jacob was permanently crippled by this encounter,
      so its risky to 1v1 an angel.

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        Modern human wrestling has progressed to the point that people can wrestle Biblical entities much more safely now. Just look at how many people managed to survive getting trounced by the Four Horsemen.

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          Underappreciated post, but then again, only ancientgays would remember.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      ...so this is what the russian army was trained for. it all makes sense now

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      Jacob had God to support him.
      The angels in Soddom and Gomorrah never had to actually defend themselves and were just observing the situation, see if there were enough good men to defend them from criminals or whatever.
      If angels are so easy to beat then the devil must be a huge joke

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      So what you're saying is that we need Hulk Hogan?

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      i wrestled d3. which angles should i be able to frick up? all of them?

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        The humanoid messenger type ones. I don't see how it would he possible to wrestle one of the ones made of eyes and wings

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          >Angels hate this one trick!

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          >made of eyes an wings
          I like those best

          • 1 year ago
            Anonymous

            "Be not afraid..."
            > It's not working
            "I SAID BE NOT AFRAID"
            > Now it's really not working

            • 1 year ago
              Anonymous

              >Angel gets frustrated
              Picrel

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                The gun would just be ludicrous. If angels are real and I ever saw one, I'm pretty sure it's going to be some non-Euclidean existential horror type shit. I'd prefer to not have my Veil of Reality cherry popped if possible.

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                >The gun would just be ludicrous
                Therein lies the joke, my dear anon. Is humorous, yes?

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      >the Angels that God sent to go find 10 good men in Sodom and Gomorah had to be sheltered by Lot

      It remained to be seen what would've happened to the good people if they'd actually tried to carry their plan to "know" the angels

      Did he actually hand his daughters over for the GB? I forget

  4. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    The US would fight an angel of God

  5. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    The story of the US Marine in Korea and Saint Michael is a great one.
    https://ucatholic.com/blog/the-miraculous-true-story-of-saint-michael-saving-a-us-marine-in-the-korean-war/

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      >great story
      >literally "teleports behind you" tier
      >the soldier that remains nameless
      >it could only have been God's™ light that saved him
      This is the most made up story on this board right now

  6. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    By losing, America is the Great Satan and Michael would show up to kill them.

  7. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    They would be on our side. American defense procurement flex thread, shills powerless

    [...]

    [...]

    [...]

  8. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Literature/TheSalvationWar

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      I will always be a little salty that he finally starts working on the third book and then he just fricking dies

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        ..divine intervention?

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        What

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          Exactly what I said.
          It was supposed to be a three book series. But there was some sort of shenanigans and he sperged out and refused to write the third book. After like ten years, he decided to finish the series. He posts four chapters and then fricking dies.

          • 1 year ago
            Anonymous

            huh, pity, I heard there was some sort of legal issue or snafu that prevented him from continuing the thing, but I didn't know that last bit.

            Fricking mortality, it's annoying. We should kill the angel of death

  9. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Michael after defeating the dragon, year 1900.

  10. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Does anyone remember that cringey as frick early 2000s leddit athiest story about America defeating the apocalypse? Weird as frick to think back on that people unironically sucked homosexuals like Petraeus off.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      No but I would be interested in seeing this fedora cringe

  11. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    70% of the US military is Christian as are most Americans

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      Most of them are some shitty spinoff that God likely finds more insulting than flattering like Evangelicals or those people with the giant McChurches that make a mockery of a good old fashioned cathedral

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        he probably gets a good laugh out of the mega churches

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          >heh
          >look at those fricking bozos
          >motherfrickers seem to care more about israelites than me
          >and they still think they have a place in heaven
          >lol
          >as if they weren't damned the instant they started to draw up that eyesore
          >lmoa oh my me it'd be so funny to send a flood their way and see them twist in knots trying to explain how this isn't divine punishment but a sign I like them
          And thus Houston flooded again

          • 1 year ago
            Anonymous

            >>lmoa oh my me it'd be so funny to send a flood their way
            Damn, I lost again. But seriously folks, frick Houston.

  12. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    >They called me the tragic hero
    >They avoided my company
    >My names were only whispered
    >Just a tale for a moonless night

    >Fallen hero fits much better
    >To describe my true fate
    >Once a fighter for the light
    >Reduced to an observer

    >And again I hear the voices
    >A distant thunder through the night
    >The angel of destruction
    >Summoning her fellows for the fight

    >Now the time has come and yet you stand alone
    >The enemy is mighty and too strong
    >Without any help you will loose on your own
    >So you call out for me to come along

    >Now this can turn my fate
    >Revive my true confession
    >To be a fighter once again
    >Standing here by your side

    >This might be my last mission
    >The final fight for mankind
    >Reunited on the eve of the apocalypse

    >And again I hear the voices
    >A distant thunder through the night
    >The angel of destruction
    >Summoning her fellows for the fight

  13. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    with unimaginable Black person violence

  14. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Recruit it.

  15. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Angels are weird. Are they not lesser gods? How do monotheist justify the existence of angels?
    Obviously they'll explode if you point this out

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      Are you moron

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      >How do monotheist justify the existence of angels?
      > Thou shalt have no other gods BEFORE me
      Just have Michael stand behind the Big Guy and you're good. No, further back. Like a good 10m back.

      Problem solved.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      >Obviously they'll explode if you point this out
      Theyre demi gods or lesser gods by most mythical definitions, but they are servants to the will of the omnipotent, omniscient, omnipresent God. The whole thing about Lucifer being cast out of Heaven was because he thought he was on the same level as his creator, and deserved to sit on the Throne of God. He was punished deservedly so, and now suffers for all eternity in an endless desire to become like God while trying to make all of mankind suffer as he does

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      This argument is valid, but moreso with the Saints in Catholicism.
      Growing up in a Catholic family, the answer is: there is no excuse for this, we just don't talk about it. Yes, the Catholic Church in practice is far from monotheistic. But shut up about that, stop asking questions.

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        I’m truly sorry that your catechesis was so ass.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      This argument is valid, but moreso with the Saints in Catholicism.
      Growing up in a Catholic family, the answer is: there is no excuse for this, we just don't talk about it. Yes, the Catholic Church in practice is far from monotheistic. But shut up about that, stop asking questions.

      This is, boiled down, basically the same as saying
      "How can an action be holy if there's only one God"
      or even dumber
      "If I ask my neighbor for help moving a fridge I've committed blasphemy"

      It's gibberish that comes from trying to apply non christian standards i.e. a "god" is any supernatural, spiritual, or transcendental entity, to Christianity, where God is the personified authority and pattern of reality, and any number of "Things" of any number of spiritual or physical natures might exist but should not be thought of the same way as God.

  16. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    The angel will realize it was American all along

  17. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    If an angel seriously came down to America we’d be so fricked. It’s probably coming to deliver God’s judgement onto all these heretics. There is absolutely nothing, less than nothing, that the US military could do if the angel didn’t want it to do.

    All you could do, maybe, if it’s not already too late, is to throw yourself onto your hands and knees, head into the ground, weeping while repeated the the Lord’s Prayer. Maybe begging Marry to intercede will work. But that’s pretty much it.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      Christian mythology doesn't really address what angels are or are not capable of, just describes what they did on some occasions. There isn't much to go on

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        https://i.imgur.com/RoDC0v9.gif

        What kind of angel?

        wouldn't it have to give decent descriptions if these are supposed to be accurate? speaking of which, does it say what chapters the descriptions used for these were taken from?

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          The "two wheels made of eyes" one is from Ezekiel chapter 1. I think the ones with 6 wings and 4 faces are in Daniel, I don't remember that for certain, though.
          >https://www.blueletterbible.org/kjv/eze/1/15/s_803015

  18. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    "the general zapped an angel"

  19. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    By using depressed 14 year olds, duh

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      What the hell is wrong with these boards these days. This should have been fpbp.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      if Shinji and Asuka would've just put the benis in the vag00 both would have become more well-adgjusted after the first couple of sweaty nights.

      >He would perk up.
      >She would mellow out. At least for a bit.

      Plus i see Misago doing something really stupid if the kids around her were getting it on while she wasn't getting any, so we would still have a drama anime.

      Shoot at them with bullets coated in troony gash blood with planned parenthood brain piece cores. Send Antifa and let them yell satanic shit like they always do. Name a megaisraelite as captain of the force like a rothschild. Place the division with the flag of Israel, all rifles are Tavors.

      There, you have a satanic army to fight a holy being.

      Hello Satan sir, I'm surprised you didn't post with your signature trips.

      Jacob was permanently crippled by this encounter,
      so its risky to 1v1 an angel.

      >1v1 an angel
      All combat is risky. Sometimes you snuff it even if you do everything right, but then you can claim to have 1v1'd an angel.

      Also I thought it wasn't clear if it was some rando Angel or God that gave Jacob the booboo.

  20. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Anyone who’s a God blessed American will pray and follow his lead. Anyone who doesn’t embrace their Lord’s grace and redemption shall forever more be denied of such. Christus Invictus, may his will be done his kingdom comes.

  21. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Most people in the government are religious anyway, so pretty good.

    Meanwhile the liberal west youth have fallen under control of all these asian made succubi or became mad with self-hating propaganda, ensuring political power in general and military power in particular remains firmly under control of christians.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      >how do you defeat a being that could wipe out cities and armies in the blink of an eye
      i dunno anon, i think i will try to convince him to play a game or something, also pray to God, otherwise, i am fricking dead with or without a gun/knife

      the first to get smited are the boomers, millenials then zoomers.

  22. 1 year ago
    Anonymous
  23. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    how would angels even conduct warfare? arent they essentially immortal and do not age? assuming heaven is infinite in size and angels dont eat food, what would even doing traditional battles accomplish if there no resources to compete over

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      Well there aren't really any specifics, but there's a part in revelation where a "sword" of light comes out of one guy's mouth and it makes the valleys and gorges run full with the blood of the slain.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      >wars are only fought about resources

      imblyign

  24. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    If it bleeds we can kill it.

  25. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Angels is just what we call them in the Western Bible. But other cultures gave them other names. The Sumerians called them Igigi. And they were warriors under the Anunnaki.

    Gnostics dont use the word angels either. They call them Archons. Servants under the Chief Archon aka Demiurge.

  26. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Breed them out of existence.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      we'll buck break em. simple as

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      ?

      [...]

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      >breed them out
      >makes more of them
      >or worse race mixes
      This logic is moronic, good old fashioned genocide is the best way.

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        Take woman from other tribe is literally the oldest goodest fashioned way in human history.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous
  27. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    >tfw Jesus destroys the beast kingdom n there's no army on earth or under the earth that can do to stop it.

  28. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    NERV

  29. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    I remember reading some a story about the US fighting hell and heaven and they used this thing for an angel

  30. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    they will be not afraid

  31. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    By doing nothing, because israeli fables aren't real.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      god is definitely real you dumb frick

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        Ok yahweh woshiper.

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          not even saying you have to believe in one of the main religions. it seems absurd to think that there isn't a higher power / something after this, regardless of what you personally think that is.

          >muh big bang
          >muh bad things happen so god just couldn't be
          lmao

          • 1 year ago
            Anonymous

            >insane to think there's no higher power
            You'd have to be insane to think there was, under different circumstances. Insisting on the existence of a higher being is begging the question

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          like for instance, are you a programmer? if by chance you are, consider it being some butthole who wrote a kind of shit conditional. doesn't really fricking matter what the guy who wrote it thinks, you have to fulfill the condition to get into the block. you can chance the conditional logic, but you need to redeploy to get the code out. all the Black folk saying we could be in the matrix or this could be some sort of computer simulation, and homosexuals want to think god isn't real because he asks something from us that we might not be thrilled about? that's their Black person-tier logic?

          • 1 year ago
            Anonymous

            Easily the weakest "argument" itt and that's saying something. It doesn't even make sense

            • 1 year ago
              Anonymous

              It's just a very rambling version of Pascal's wager, I think.

            • 1 year ago
              Anonymous

              it really does though.

              if(!CollectionUtils.isEmpty(yourShittyCollection)){}

              You're never getting in that unless you meet the conditional statement. changing the condition isn't an option after the server has been started, so you'd need to redeploy - interrupt service.

              being unhappy with the requirement doesn't matter and doesn't make the requirement any less real.

              less of an argument as it is a way to think about the idea in another abstraction.

              were you going to give any arguments for him not being real? bad things happen and that's not very nice? any more doozies?

              • 1 year ago
                Anonymous

                >were you going to give any argument for him not being real
                No, because the burden of proof isn't on me. Demanding I make an argument in the negative is begging the question

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        What makes you say so? And why be so compelled to make such a terrible post in response

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        >god is definitely real you dumb frick
        great witnessing right there pal

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          he is. like the arguments against his existence are going to be strong...

          • 1 year ago
            Anonymous

            check’d
            Yes and thats what apologetics exists for, but that “christian” anons attitude and disposition is not making a good testimony for being a follower of Christ

          • 1 year ago
            Anonymous

            >like the arguments against his existence are going to be strong...
            Because disproving a negative is a stupid task and people who believe in it are too ignorant to consider otherwise.

  32. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Shoot at them with bullets coated in troony gash blood with planned parenthood brain piece cores. Send Antifa and let them yell satanic shit like they always do. Name a megaisraelite as captain of the force like a rothschild. Place the division with the flag of Israel, all rifles are Tavors.

    There, you have a satanic army to fight a holy being.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      instead of battalions of the buckest Blacks they'd be sending the rattiest israelites imaginable?

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        Id imagine an army of pedophiles, degenerates and cross-dressing homosexuals are a greater insult to God than primitive stupid Black folk.

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          the angles would demolish those demons with ease, and if they were for some reason struggling, we'd send in the lads.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      instead of battalions of the buckest Blacks they'd be sending the rattiest israelites imaginable?

      >Anon takes down the forces of Satan from the inside

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      >Tavor
      Come on it's not that bad of a rifle.

  33. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    What kind of angel?

  34. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Is he as glorious as Sanguinius

  35. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    >Materializes and dematerializes at will
    If they're just gonna kill one guy you basically can't do shit. Also they frick off immediately once they're done so it's too late then.

    If they are doing a crusade I guess a bunch of autoturrets or something, you can't kill them but you might be able to make it inconvenient for them to manifest on a particular sliver of spacetime.

  36. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    again it is very simple seeing as god is all powerful and in this case ordered the destruction of a state on Earth. the US will hire old israeli lawyers to point out that god cannot create a boulder that xe ximself cannot lift causing the old hebrew homosexual god and all of his minions (including satan) to explode in contradiction

  37. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    why do they have blue eyes in the gifs? shouldn’t they have brown eyes? or yellow glowing eyes? it doesn’t make sense for them to have blue eyes

  38. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Try and get him to sign up for the GI bill and a 10k sign on bonus.

  39. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    ask to see heavenly memes

  40. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    shoo baidn wake up

  41. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Sex

  42. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    >inb4 Eva's
    >inb4 christcuckery
    >inb4 atheist bs
    Angels are real, they're present in every single type of lore regardless of religion. We just see them as messengers or soldiers of God but the reality is that we just understand them in literature and lore from a Christian and/or Abrahamic perspective. With that being said, angels or "angels" are nothing but sexless, genderless, non physical beings that manifest by the power and grace of God using human high frequencies. They typically are bound to whatever they're asked and told to do and that doesn't necessarily mean that all they do is goodness or are used for goodness. Some are able to also transcend and can potentially manifest as human souls but this doesn't necessarily mean it's a good thing or that they're inherently good. Based on my research, most angel souls tend to be narcissistic as human and are prone to sex addiction, earthly pleasures and plastic surgery. They're prone to these things because they operate on a high frequency, that includes, sex, orgasms, praises, being recognized as the center of attention and so on. With that being said, the best way to actually kill an Angel is by depriving it of its energy source from the core and like a Pokémon, basically making the Angel be subservient to you in every capacity. Now, I'm not going to tell anyone on this board how to do it but it is indeed possible.

  43. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    And the kings of the earth, and the great men, and the rich men, and the chief captains, and the mighty men, and every bondman, and every free man, hid themselves in the dens and in the rocks of the mountains;

    And said to the mountains and rocks, Fall on us, and hide us from the face of him that sitteth on the throne, and from the wrath of the Lamb:

    For the great day of his wrath is come; and who shall be able to stand?

    Revelations 6:15-17

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