How should the dwarves have dealt with the bane of Durin VI? I was thinking massed ballistae and crossbows.

How should the dwarves have dealt with the bane of Durin VI? I was thinking massed ballistae and crossbows.

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  1. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    How do you deal with your eternal virginity?

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      What the frick has my virginity got to do with this? Why should I lower myself to frick a woman?

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      The knowledge that I'm quite handsome and am not some KHH freak, and will have zero problems losing it in my late 20s once I actually get a career figured out.
      Tolkien is badass.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        Checked, but don't throw your chances away like that. You can do both.

  2. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    The Balrogs were corrupted full scale Maiar, they were seriously fricking powerful, same base being as Gandalf of the other "wizards". I don't there is anything the dwarves at that time could do to one. The only thing would be to swallow their pride and go to the elves for help, who might have tipped off the Istari. The events you're talking about were like over 1000 years before LOTR iirc, so Saruman might not have even gone all edge lord moronic evil yet too. They probably could have dealt with it, and dealing with a fellow Maiar they might have been permitted to use their real power as well.

    Trying to poke it with some bigger sharp sticks is moronic though and won't do shit.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Gandalf randomly encountering another fricking Maiar during his hobbit escort mission is some shit luck. Real getting ganked by another player character vibes. Fricker was camping for literal eras just waiting for someone to stumble by.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Fell maiar, they weren't at full power.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        Yet it could 1v1 Gandalf and get a draw. Gandalf was a servant of the King of the Valar. Balrogs are no joke.

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          Gandalf too wasn't at his full maiar self due the quest of the istari, and wasn't that powerful to begin with (and his power wasn't all specced in raw strength I believe).

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >some dorfs are expected to deal with a fallen angel
      LOL no way is that canonically happening without another figure on the same power level, like Gandalf, in the mix

      Na, big ass hole with a bunch of ball bearings near it would have done the trick ez pz

  3. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >some dorfs are expected to deal with a fallen angel
    LOL no way is that canonically happening without another figure on the same power level, like Gandalf, in the mix

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      The Balrogs were corrupted full scale Maiar, they were seriously fricking powerful, same base being as Gandalf of the other "wizards". I don't there is anything the dwarves at that time could do to one. The only thing would be to swallow their pride and go to the elves for help, who might have tipped off the Istari. The events you're talking about were like over 1000 years before LOTR iirc, so Saruman might not have even gone all edge lord moronic evil yet too. They probably could have dealt with it, and dealing with a fellow Maiar they might have been permitted to use their real power as well.

      Trying to poke it with some bigger sharp sticks is moronic though and won't do shit.

      If elves can kill Balrogs during Gondolin, why cant Dwarves?

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        He basically said they can't.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        The elves in the era of Gondolin and Beleriand were built different compared to the elves of the third age, and were at the height of their power.

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          Muh elves this muh elves that. Can we forget about the sissies for a second? Im talking about Dwarves here. Why couldn't a ballista kill a balrog? Its not like the dumb elves had magical powers.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            Elves and Men are children of God, Dwarves are not. The strongest Elves and Men are mountain chopping, fight a month before dying after getting an evil magic sword lodged into their heart, legendary monsters. Dwarves are comparable only to Third Age Men and Elves, and even in the third age, there is still some blood that remembers.

            • 1 month ago
              Anonymous

              The dwarves of old were on some different shit though, in the Silmarillion they fight entire hosts of dragons during the big battles.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            >Why couldn't a ballista kill a balrog?
            Because it's twenty feet tall and able to smash it's body through dozens of feet of solid rock and survive a terminal velocity fall without harm. The larger a creature is, the more magnified the effect of a long fall is. It's body would be stronger than fricking steel. The largest Ballista ever made couldn't penetrate a few inches of rock or even a quarter inch of steel you moron.
            Even the hide of a Troll was so strong Boromir chipped his sword without cutting it in the book, do you think the Balrog's skin is weaker than a Trolls?

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        Tolkien creates the races in Middle Earth as metaphors of various mythologies,.
        Elves = Ancient Classics, Roman and Greek mythology.
        Dwarves = Scandinavian, Germanic mythology
        Humans = Frankish and Anglo Saxon mythology
        Wizards = mythology surrounding the early Saints
        Orcs = mythology surrounding the Huns
        etc.

        Thus the later elves like in LOTR represent the Romans and their fast disappearing influence throughout both Europe and England.

        The earlier elves of gondolin however represent Classical mythology at its height i.e. Ancient Greek and Roman mythology that typically features mortals and half-god heroes as well as the Gods themselves battling supernatural monsters and demons.

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          >stab a balrog with a spike on your helmet
          >peak might and mythology
          Frick off. Im pretty sure mithril bolts from ballistae can kill the balrog

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            I don't think you'd want mithril for ballista bolts, actually. It's described as being extremely light and hard, where what you want from a ballista bolt is a lot of mass to drive into your target. If mithril can take a good edge (which I don't recall being talked about one way or the other), it might make a good cutting head/blade for a bolt, but I really only think it appeared in a military context as armor.

            Anyone have any canonical references for a mithril sword?

            • 1 month ago
              Anonymous

              I don't think there were any canonical references to mithril weapons. Those which were there were mostly referring to mithril's use in armor. It was also used in making various other things such as the new gates of Minas Tirith, Earendil's ship, and the Ithildin alloy. Nenya, one of the Three Rings, was made of mithril.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            It's likely not clear that "sharpness" is even relevant against a balrog, are there any text stating a balrog has ever been damaged by anything other than magical means?

            • 1 month ago
              Anonymous

              Glorfindel hewed the horn of one of them and Echthelion stabbed one with the spike of his helmet.

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                Both DEFINITELY had magical shit to do those feats with

            • 1 month ago
              Anonymous

              I assume the Elves that were able to kill the Balrogs during the First Age at least had magical weapons to do the job. But often, if it was a one on one fight, it would end in mutual destruction, like Ecthelion vs. Gothmog, and Glorfindel vs. an unnamed Balrog (possibly Lungorthin)

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                >Children of Aule
                >unable to make magical weapons
                Pick one.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            >If superman can kill it with a punch, so can I!!!

            • 1 month ago
              Anonymous

              Elves are not supermen.The 7 fathers of Dwarves learnt from Aule himself, putting them on the same level or perhaps even greater than the Noldor. Its not far fetched to say that Dwarves would be capable of forging weapons capable of killing Balrog. Remember that Narsil, a weapon forged by a Dwarf, was able to cut off a finger from Sauron, an even mightier being than a Balrog. Dwarven bolts from massed ballistae will absolutely frick up any Balrog or dragon. Its a shame they didn't think to do it.

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                My bolts would kill a DRAGON let alone a balrog.
                You cannot handle my bolts.

              • 1 month ago
                Anonymous

                >Elves are not supermen.
                An elf was able to hurt Morgoth, who's foot was described as being like a hillside.

                >The 7 fathers of Dwarves learnt from Aule himself
                How many of them were in Moria?

                >Narsil, a weapon forged by a Dwarf
                A dwarf in Moria?

                >Dwarven bolts from massed ballistae will absolutely frick up any Balrog or dragon.
                No, they wouldn't, you're moronic, and a homosexual.

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          Tolkien said he based the Dwarves on (his perception, I suppose) of israeli ancient history. He says, that the israelites are like a hardy (desert nomad) craftsman race (works and israeliteelry) who are more obsessed with the gathering and creation of wealth.

          I'm paraphrasing, but you can find this easily.
          Tolkien dwarves are based on israelites.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            Tolkien's dwarves represent the Icelandic/Germanic tradition of mythology.
            Look at their names, look at their obsession with treasure and adventure, look at the halls they build, look at their rivaley with the elves. (Germanic-romans).
            It is really quite obvious and well documented.

            • 1 month ago
              Anonymous

              >bristly dark hair
              >beady little black eyes
              >tan skin
              >bulbous, round features
              >short
              Not only are dwarves obviously semites in Tolkien, something he ADMITTED, the dwarves of Norse mythology were also almost certainly mythologized mesopotamians that fled northward, that the pre-norse people met thousands of years ago.

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          Tolkien stated in the foreword to the second edition of The Lord of the Rings that "it is neither allegorical nor topical ... I cordially dislike allegory in all its manifestations ... I much prefer history, true or feigned, with its varied applicability to the thought and experience of readers."

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            >Tolkien stated in the foreword to the second edition of The Lord of the Rings that "it is neither allegorical nor topical ... I cordially dislike allegory in all its manifestations ... I much prefer history, true or feigned, with its varied applicability to the thought and experience of readers."

            Tolkien creates the races in Middle Earth as metaphors of various mythologies,.
            Elves = Ancient Classics, Roman and Greek mythology.
            Dwarves = Scandinavian, Germanic mythology
            Humans = Frankish and Anglo Saxon mythology
            Wizards = mythology surrounding the early Saints
            Orcs = mythology surrounding the Huns
            etc.

            Thus the later elves like in LOTR represent the Romans and their fast disappearing influence throughout both Europe and England.

            The earlier elves of gondolin however represent Classical mythology at its height i.e. Ancient Greek and Roman mythology that typically features mortals and half-god heroes as well as the Gods themselves battling supernatural monsters and demons.

            >Tolkien creates the races in Middle Earth as metaphors
            What is another word for allegory?
            metaphor emblem
            analogy symbol
            figuration symbolism
            symbolization typification
            extended metaphor indirect representation

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            >Tolkien stated in the foreword to the second edition of The Lord of the Rings that "it is neither allegorical nor topical ... I cordially dislike allegory in all its manifestations ... I much prefer history, true or feigned, with its varied applicability to the thought and experience of readers."
            [...]
            >Tolkien creates the races in Middle Earth as metaphors
            What is another word for allegory?
            metaphor emblem
            analogy symbol
            figuration symbolism
            symbolization typification
            extended metaphor indirect representation

            Tolkien was no fool thinking his ideas were just springing from the void of his imagination, he just did not like overt, aggressive 1-to-1 allegorical stories.
            Like, of course he knew there were certain parallels between certain events, certain peoples, from his world and history, that's not what he was talking about when he said allegorical. He would not have freaked out if you pointed out the obvious parallels between the cavalry charges that broke various sieges in his work, and the somewhat comparable ones in history.

            Really he just wanted homosexuals to shut up about it being directly about WW1 or WW2, because even in his lifetime that was the first thing every midwit said "hurr durr itz da WAR!!!!" and it drove him nuts.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        Keep in mind that the Balrogs in the fall of gondolin are not the same as the the ones in silmarillion and LoTR. Tolkien pretty much retconned them from being more numerous and weaker into being much stronger but there being no less than 3 and no more than 7 in the world, the 3 minimum being the two killed by Ecthelion of the fountain and Glorfindel in Gondolin, and Durin Bane who was killed by Gandalf in Moria.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        Elves are borderline deific and get absurdly fricking powerful as you go back down the timeline

  4. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    By fricking off until someone kills it.

  5. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Ask yourself what a large group of babies could do to stop a German battle tank?

    Perhaps if enough get caught in the tracks it will get stuck, but doesn't seem likely, does it?

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      If said babies could operate an anti tank gun, tank stands no chance.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        It's more that these babies have this bizzare idea that a big super soaker's an anti-tank gun, while it's clearly not. Balrogs are demonic beings and pretty much only beings that have some direct connection to the divine or are literal emissaries of the divine can kill them. LoTR is a fantasy setting.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        It's more that these babies have this bizzare idea that a big super soaker's an anti-tank gun, while it's clearly not. Balrogs are demonic beings and pretty much only beings that have some direct connection to the divine or are literal emissaries of the divine can kill them. LoTR is a fantasy setting.

        >babies
        >operating anything
        Babies can't even operate object permanence and walking. They can operate a thumb and only in their mouth at that.
        That post was so stupid.

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          What makes you think Dwarven babies are akin to human babies? For all we know they could be born with a full beard and enough strength to man an M2 browning.

          • 1 month ago
            Anonymous

            The original anon

            Ask yourself what a large group of babies could do to stop a German battle tank?

            Perhaps if enough get caught in the tracks it will get stuck, but doesn't seem likely, does it?

            never mentioned dwarven babies and for a good reason. The purpose of the example was to use a real life equivalent as to how fricked the dwarves are in terms of power when facing a balrog.
            Real life babies are worthless against a tank and so are dwarves against a balrog.

  6. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    if the dwarves weren't such greedy israelites, none of this would have happened.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Never forget the 400000 dwarven babies put in ovens by the ballrog

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        >only 400000

        You anti-Khazâdite

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Anti-Khazad sentiment is rampant these days. The dwarves were minding their own business. Balrog had to frick everything up.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        >comes """back""" after having been removed from the area for thousands of years
        >casually kills over 32,000 innocent orc women and children
        >claim they are just retaking their birthright

        FREE FREE MORIA
        FREE FREE MORIA
        FROM SIRANNON TO MIRRORMERE, DWARVES ARE NOT WELCOME HERE

        #JusticeForOrcs

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          thank you.

  7. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    >Balrog
    It's just some Black person with boxing gloves ffs. Though I'm not surprised a bunch of manlets can't handle one of those, when will they learn.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      Didn't he stop a speeding car with his hands.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        Killed Dhalsim's pet elephant too.

  8. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Ther dwarves in your picture would all die from oxygen deprivation.

  9. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Catch some goblins, teach them everything you can about communism, give them a bag of gold and cut them loose back into their own lands.
    Problem will sort itself out in 10-15 years and then they'll make the Balrog's life an unlivable shit fiesta because he's obviously not with the proletariat
    You're probably going to want to move with a good couple of human buffer-states between you and the gobbos though

    Oh and tell NO ONE you did this, you get me you stunted, sausage fingered, big nosed rock-jews- you tell fricking NO ONE!

  10. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Durin’s Bane was a being of fire and shadows. How many ballista bolts are needed to kill fire and shadows? You think the insanely powerful kingdom of Khazad-dûm DIDN’T throw down on it with all their might? They got curbed, hence "Durin’s Bane". Yes Gandalf got a double-KO on it but he was clearly putting out every scrap of power he had jealously banked up for 1000s of years to do so. Dwarves are completely mortal.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      A man can kill a lion. Weapons are amazing equalizers. There has already been cases of weapons wounding angelic beings like Maiar. The dwarves absolutely could kill the balrog they just pussied out and fled instead of doing it.

  11. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Cave in tunnels around it an entomb it.

  12. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    they should have invented cannons and blown it to pieces with a 1000 pound dwarvish doomweapon

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >blowing up being made of flame

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      A 1000 pound cannon is not actually that large, and does not penetrate armor all that well. The balrog is tougher than iron. A cannon of that scale would be stopped by a couple inches of iron easily.

  13. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Assuming kinetic energy can damage it, strategically placed ballistas, perhaps (some) with a harpoon and draw mechanic, and dropped rocks would be the best bet. If a crossbow bolt can damage it on some parts, use those too. In any case, luring/baiting with mobile dwarves, perhaps with padded armor so somewhat mitigate damage, and having dwarves on damage and fire control (which also means lots of water available).

    If it cant, you have to trap it with a controlled collapse.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >controlled collapse.
      Thing can probably shrug that off.

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      >strategically placed ballistas
      The most powerful ballista ever built could penetrate what... a quarter inch of wrought iron?
      lol

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      You want to put this in your gay noguns nerd power scaling terms?

      Boromir couldn't penetrate the tougher parts of the Troll's hide even though he struck hard enough to damage his sword.
      Sting was able to "impale" the foot of the troll.
      Gandalf wasn't confident Glamdring could significantly harm the Balrog, even wielded in his magical hands.

      The Balrog's body is stronger than stone. It's stronger than the flesh of any animal. It's certainly stronger than the strongest troll, or any helm Aragorn Split open.

  14. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    Why didn't the dwarves show up at Minas Tirith?

    They literally built that castle and if Hackson went with OC donut steel with the elves at Helms Deep the dwarves needed to show how rank, shaved and short they are in RotK

  15. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    If you had read the words Tolkien used to describe the Balrog and it's power in Fellowship, you would know the answer to this question

    I find it extremely improbable a Balrog could be injured without powerful and extremely uncommon magic being involved

  16. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    drop the ceiling on it.

  17. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    throw some fricking water at the c**t

    • 1 month ago
      Anonymous

      They threw it into a lake at 100 miles an hour.

      • 1 month ago
        Anonymous

        Hitting water at that speed is like hittimg concrete, no way it'd survive.

        • 1 month ago
          Anonymous

          That's just it. The impact forces would have splattered an elephant but he walked it off without a problem.

  18. 1 month ago
    Anonymous

    They should have built their tunnels so they weren't big enough for a fricking dragon to crawl into.

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