how realistic is it to become an african warlord as a white man? in theory how hard would it be to move to some african shithole and with your money outfit a group of men to generalbuttnakedmaxx? I know this is retarded but the thought just came into my mind.
They might not trust you if you're white but I imagine you could levy an army pre-industrial style by promising young men from rural villages land, loot, and pussy if they side with you. After that there's just the problem of weapons procurement and actually training those men and taking care of logistics and strategy and ensuring territorial integrity and everything else that comes with maintaining and army and a state. When I first started typing this post I thought getting the manpower would be the hardest part but unless you have godly leadership skills, that is honestly probably the easiest part if you just follow up on your promises of land loot and pussy. This is also assuming you don't immediately get shutdown by some UN coalition or other warlords.
it would be like mount and blade warband but irl with africans. Initially if you turn up would it be a better strat to dress the part or try to lay low to find out if there are other warlords around? being white you are on a timer as soon as you step foot wherever you are as you will be the only whiteman, how would this actually work. I need to think on this more. Where do you even get weapons from? I wonder, would it be easier to become a warlord or a pirate captain?
Militaries dont operate in a vacuum. You would need some kind of connection with the local heavyweights in order to even consider you. You would basically only be able to get into firefights and claim territory/power as a rep for a customer.
And even then get ready to be sanctioned far out the ass and put on several watchlists. More often than not shit is going to go from zero to war crime real quick and is more than likely to be partly funded by crime and terrorism.
Anyone willing to join up with some random nobody for the promise of cash is also almost certainly willing to rob you of said money and, if you’re lucky, then promptly fuck off.
>But what if I just wire myself the money every few weeks?
Enjoy getting sanctioned into the floor, and then getting deported back home and imprisoned as soon as you step foot anywhere vaguely civilised. Filibustering hasn’t really been a thing since the 19th century for a reason, Western governments hate it when their citizens do it.
so is this just not doable? you couldn't just rock up and offer them pussy and money in exchange for manpower then proceed to fight random warlords? like mount and blade, has anyone even tried this before
You could but...It wouldnt be as glamorous as you think
>like mount and blade, has anyone even tried this before
It was commonplace back before globalization and the UN and all that shit. Colonialism was sometimes just this, some white guy with mercenaries filibustering land for his country or company. Try being born 200 years earlier and you would have no problem doing this, hell the government from your home country might even support you.
If you want to try it in real life you would probably be very outmatched, you would have to come with better weapons than the local government and warlords and if the UN gets even a whiff of the warcrimes that would be committed by an army levied with the promise of land, loot, and pussy, you're getting to be #1 on the global watchlist, especially since a white guy doing all this would probably be considered an evil colonizer. Maybe if you wear very convincing blackface, no one will care.
I've thought about this before myself and came to this conclusion. It's definitely possible but far from being practical. If you wanted wealth and power it would be easier to just become a business tycoon or some shit.
Why is this world so lame and gay?
Industrial society and garden gnomes
>he says, unemployed, not meeting women because he doesn't go outside
Say that to my face when I team up with OP to build a warlord empire in Africa.
you could just join the french foreign legion like every based trad virtue signalling LARPer says they're going to do, but you won't leave your basement
You'll be scared to leave your basement when my diamond dogs roll up to your hometown.
There's wilderness to colonize. Why bother going outside?
*There's no wilderness
Fuck
colonize a woman first
say it with me
I
CAN'T
BREED
wrong, it's lame and gay despite being gainfully employed and meeting women
things could be so much better
>things could be so much better
they could also be a HELL of a lot worse, but you can still be an optimist. there's just no reason to live miserable and depressed at the way things are when you can go make your own life better
Also we let women vote, that was a big mistake.
I want a comedy movie based on this.
A white guy painting his face and going into africa to be a warlord sounds like a good comedy movie.
I want mr Bean to be the white guy.
You want easy money join the shareholder class. You require 0 IQ.
Any given soldier who wants these things can already get them from existing warlords who have experience fighting in the region and also usually have ethnic ties to them (most warlords worldwide run operations closer to ethnic or tribal militias than criminal gangs looking for loot). Also, if you’re planning on offering them women, you’d better have the money to hire a gaggle of prostitutes because if a white man is running a gang of rapists somewhere in Africa the first NGO that hears about you is going to be on the phone to the UN and the State Department and they’re going to send someone to get you. Natives doing that are dealt with more carefully because if they aren’t another leader will just take their place, but you sure as shit won’t be.
Any level of organisation on your soil before you set out is going to get noticed and you’ll likely be jailed for it. Among other examples, Don Black and a few other klansmen were sent to federal prison for years because of a plot to overthrown the government of Dominica. More recently, Brits who fought with the Kurds in Syria have faced legal problems, and some of the Serbs who fought in the Donbas have spent time in prison.
The closest things have gotten to that is western businessmen trying to organise a couple of coups in Africa that failed, and the end goal of those was to leave the locals in charge anyway, just with different leadership. There was also some fuckery by Executive Outcomes in PNG back in the 90s but that didn’t seem planned and wasn’t in Africa in any case.
It *was* doable until the Belgians ruined it for everybody
They’re going to kill you and take your guns and buxx on day 1
okay new scenario, what if you turned up with a few other men, not just you on your own (this is all hypothetical because my government monitors everyone on the internet and I cba having them show up again at my door)
What would be your white African warlord name. The White Devil is the obvious choice, but I think General Apartheid has a nice ring to it.
General Aintfromaroundhere
General paleface, ghost, recolonizer, Leopold the Third
There's a movie I kept seeing in charity shops but never watched, 'The Last King of Scotland'. About a real african warlord (black) who was obsessed with Scotland and convinced himself he was the last legitimate King of Scotland, and then kidnaps a real Scotsman who was in the area. I think it was more about the eccentricities of African warlords in general and what it'd be like to be kidnapped by one than anything more specific to the guy outside the weird scottish thing.
Did he have a genuine one of these?
The term is ermine cape. I don't know. I don't usually see the Scottish monarchs with them. Also I never saw the movie itself, wanted to but just never got the excuse.
the US state department doesn't like US Citizens doing that sort of stuff
REEEEEEEEEEEEEE stop seething in my thread and help me figure out the best strategy to becoming an african warlord.
I saw business tycoon or some shit, maybe thats the best way as you'd already have the funds, but what if you're just a normal dude? take 5 normal white dudes with aks and some savings, surely this is semi doable? these african villages shouldn't be hard to recruit from if you give them money and promise them pussy and glory? being white should give you a charisma bonus.
You could start a PMC. They get loads of action in Africa. As long as you keep good relations with your preferred superpower's glowies you won't even be killed by the international community.
ah, but then you wont be able to do warcrimes or hire child soldiers (which are cheaper) or then branch out into piracy because that then ruffles glowy feathers, or raid territory connected to glowies.
If cartels figured out how to stay on the glowie good side while chopping people up I'm sure OP could figure something out for Africa. If he does it right he could leverage "deniable asset" status into a pipeline of better gear and munitions for his army. Lots of terrorist cells in somalia and yemen, maybe he focuses on them or provides recon and assassinations for stingers/javelins.
>take 5 normal white dudes with aks and some savings, surely this is semi doable? these african villages shouldn't be hard to recruit from if you give them money and promise them pussy and glory?
Yeah, probably, but there's also no reason why they wouldn't just immediately shoot you once you hand them a gun and take your money for themselves. Although I think you're seriously underestimating how difficult it would be to procure everything. Sure you could get some AKs on the black market or whatever but if you want real power projection and the ability to actually conquer and hold land you'll need a lot more than some rusty AKs, and unless you're going to build up a weapons industry from the ground up, no developed country is just going to hand you some IFVs and MBTs and CAS.
>being white should give you a charisma bonus.
Possibly, or they'll think your a racist evil colonizer and forcibly poz your neghole as reparations.
What would your ideal role be in the PrepHole warlord state? I would like to be an artillery officer, but I forgot how to do trigonometry since high school so I'm not sure if I'd be qualified.
I wonder how many people from PrepHole you could actually recruit for this if you actually tried? now this is getting more specific I am definitely going on my countries watch list (this is still hypothetical fuck off gchq)
as long as you don't interfere in first world affairs you can do whatever you want
case in point: elon musk controlled starlink until he decided to rescind access to ukraine, at which point the US government commandeered his post for noncompliance. this explains the whole twitter seething but I digress
Reminds me of the 4chan invasion of Tuvalu and expedition to Antarctica. The Antarctic expedition had some organization and funding apparently, not sure what happened to it, or if they've even departed.
4chan will only do something if it involves remaining seated behind their computer screens
Newfag here, QRD please?
see pic rel, basically some 4chantards wanted to invade Tuvalu to establish their ethnostate or whatever. it went nowhere in actuality. As for the Antarctica expedition, some schizo 4chantards wanted to go there to find the entrance to the hollow Earth or whatever schizo conspiracy bullshit they believed.
one of the craziest bastards in history
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roman_von_Ungern-Sternberg
>Spelling mistake in the title of their declaration of war
At least 4chan is consistent if nothing else
At least they didn't pit an "sh" in it.
>this is still hypothetical fuck off gchq
I'm guessing you're a bong? Just tell em you're doing humanitarian aid and experiencing their vibrant culture and as long as they don't find the dead moron storage they'll leave you alone.
I wanna captain a river gunboat.
Intelligence
I wanna fly helicopters, I don't know if I can but I got that moxie
you wouldn't get to live in luxury shitposting on PrepHole and enjoying free pussy forever
you'd be living in constant fear of one of your drugged out men shooting and robbing you, or of running out of money or supplies because you're holed up in some stinky camp in the jungle because bribing the corrupt police and military is too expensive and they'll just as quickly kill you for being a competitor in their market. the SECOND shit even looks remotely like it's going to go tits up your men will abandon you because you have no loyalty with them and no family or cultural ties.
then even if somehow you were able to get a foothold, you're going to be forced to accept and regularly do business with some of the most evil fucks on the planet. child rape, slavery, drugs, fucking ritual body mutilation and cannibalism, these are the assholes you are recruiting and its the shit you'll have to be fine with on a day to day basis. then again you're on PrepHole so that probably doesn't bother you at all.
>Raid my loadout, PrepHole
This crazy fucker did it in Mongolia.
My advice is:
>become merc, ideally an advisor or trainer
>introduce some new but simple concept like using handheld drones for recon
>roll this success into getting your own command
>follow and loudly promote an ideology which will resonate with the troops and citizens
>score some military victories and promote your own fame
>gather support and plan a coup, or go rebel and claim land
Remember, to keep support you need to ensure that multiple levels of society benefit from your plan: commoners, elites, intellectuals, and the military. You need to be able to resist a countercoup. It goes without saying you need loyal lieutenants.
Qrd on pic?
If it were me, I'd pick a local figurehead and just operate behind them. Shouldn't be hard to find a charismatic idiot who wants a free ride to the top, as long as you pull the strings.
That's how I'd do it, anyway.
I would assume pretty hard given that most africans still don't like colonialism, and it'll be easy for a black rival to say 'hey at least I'll be black if you put me in charge'. So you'd actually have to spend effort legitimizing your regime by keeping the people happy as opposed to most warlords.