Guys, what's the best home defence weapon which isn't a firearm, taser, or pepper spray?

Guys, what's the best home defence weapon which isn't a firearm, taser, or pepper spray? Cuck laws prevent me from owning them. Gun licence is on the way but not much chance of actually defending myself with them, the law dictates they be kept in a safe.

I was thinking some kind of short sword such as a gladius/arming sword/machete?

Pic unrelated: local duck

  1. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    that's a nice duck

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      He's super sweet and will eat raspberries out of your hand 🙂

  2. 2 months ago
    Anonymous
    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      People always suggest a maglite but I feel like you'd need to get too close, no?

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        Maglites can get as long as you want them and you have the excuse of fighting them off with only what you had on hand.

        • 2 months ago
          Anonymous

          Bottom one is a 7D they stopped making in a '80s.

        • 2 months ago
          Anonymous

          Haha, that's crazy they make one that long. It's an option for sure and I need a torch for my camping gear anyway. Thanks.

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        Just point at their eyes and strobe the sucker

  3. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Upgrade your duck to a guard goose. They really fuck people up

  4. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    If your laws are that bad I imagine they won't look kindly upon you using a specific "weapon", i.e. a Gladius or whatever. But something that could be considered a tool or sporting equipment like a machete, baseball bat, hammer, etc, is probably a safer bet. A short-ish spear, like the classic Naval boarding pike, was designed for fighting in close quarters on a ship, that would likely be good for use in the home too, but that has the same "weapon" problem that a Gladius might.

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      You're right, the law takes intent into account here. Anything I buy with the express purpose of using for self defence (even a fucking pillow) is considered an illegal weapon.

      But ownership of these items can be explained. A gladius could be explained as a display piece, or for reenactment/HEMA (I unironically have been interested in trying HEMA lately). A baseball bat would also need to be explained, I guess if I actually play some baseball with it then it'd be fine. All these things are legal as long as I can reasonably explain my possession of them in the event I need to.

      I like the boarding pike idea, it's pointy and you don't need to get *too* close.

  5. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    What country?

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      Take a wild guess

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        I'll guess you're a Bong then

        • 2 months ago
          Anonymous

          *blushes*

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        North korea

  6. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Is it even legal in your country to use a sword in self defense?

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      It's legal to use anything for self defence. Firearms included. A few years back a local man used his legally owned sporting shotgun to kill a well known armed gangster who was trying to break into his home. He was acquitted.

      The trouble is the intent behind the ownership. I can't buy something expressly for self defence, but if I use whatever I already own for other reasons, as long as I can prove I own that weapon for something else and that the use of force was reasonable in the circumstances, it'll be fine.

      • 2 months ago
        Anonymous

        >to kill a well known armed gangster who was trying to break into his home. He was acquitted.
        That this situation even went to a trial is a travesty.

  7. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    *teleports behind home intruder as a scattering of sakura petals engulf my previous postition*

  8. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Pro tip: Dont own 'weapons'. Own tools.
    Hammer, bat, random piece of pipe from a plumbing shop, hatchet, etc.

  9. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Depends on your self defense laws. A bladed implement might be seen as premeditation even in non-cuck countries/states. A club - like a bat or a long-handled wrench - is more plausible to have around. Just make sure you have 'stage dressing' like a ball and glove or some pipe bits.

  10. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Aren't restrictions around airbows in Britain pretty lax?

    • 2 months ago
      Anonymous

      The airbow looks cool. I was thinking of a crossbow since they're practically unregulated AFAIK. But you only get one shot. I guess that plus a melee weapon is good.

  11. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Spear. 2 meters long. And a scutum shield. Unironically.
    Also a sword.

  12. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    cold steel baseball bat + sjambok

  13. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    Is black powder permitted in Britain? You could go for muskets and flintlocks. Relive the old empire times that all brits seem to admire.

  14. 2 months ago
    Anonymous

    muzzleloaders arent guns

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