Gun stories thread?

>get first gf at 24
>she's 21
>she still lives with her parents
>she invites me to lunch with her parents and then back to their place to hang out
>"The family wants to know you anon"
>father mean mugs me the entire time, mother is genuinely interested in what I do for a living
>get back to their place
>father invites me to sit down across the living room table from him
>as he's sitting down he pulls out a gun and sets it down facing me
>'tism activates, think he's inviting me to do the same
>place my gun on coffee table too
>"What're you trying to say there, boy?"
>"I haven't even spoken yet though"
>"You calling me a liar?"
>"What?"
>her mother comes in and hysterically yells at us to calm down
>he's yelling at her to mind her own business
>I'm yelling so I can be heard, trying to understand what's going on
>gf hears and stands in the doorway silent
>eventually everything quiets down
>father still ranting about how "I will not be threatened in my own house"
>try to explain how I misunderstood him but he's not having it
>later on gf asks "Did you always have a gun?"
>"I always carry"
>"Even on our dates?"
>"Did you think I was gonna rob you or something?"
>muggers don't wait until it's convenient for you to get mugged, you know?"
>"Oh that makes sense"
I'm an npc dating an NPC who is the daughter of an NPC

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  1. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    yeah yeah
    Frick ya mudda

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      Based fym poster, his watch never ends

      https://i.imgur.com/5uqg8Bs.jpg

      >get first gf at 24
      >she's 21
      >she still lives with her parents
      >she invites me to lunch with her parents and then back to their place to hang out
      >"The family wants to know you anon"
      >father mean mugs me the entire time, mother is genuinely interested in what I do for a living
      >get back to their place
      >father invites me to sit down across the living room table from him
      >as he's sitting down he pulls out a gun and sets it down facing me
      >'tism activates, think he's inviting me to do the same
      >place my gun on coffee table too
      >"What're you trying to say there, boy?"
      >"I haven't even spoken yet though"
      >"You calling me a liar?"
      >"What?"
      >her mother comes in and hysterically yells at us to calm down
      >he's yelling at her to mind her own business
      >I'm yelling so I can be heard, trying to understand what's going on
      >gf hears and stands in the doorway silent
      >eventually everything quiets down
      >father still ranting about how "I will not be threatened in my own house"
      >try to explain how I misunderstood him but he's not having it
      >later on gf asks "Did you always have a gun?"
      >"I always carry"
      >"Even on our dates?"
      >"Did you think I was gonna rob you or something?"
      >muggers don't wait until it's convenient for you to get mugged, you know?"
      >"Oh that makes sense"
      I'm an NPC dating an NPC who is the daughter of an NPC

      Yeah OP you are. Tbf, pointing a gun at your daughter's bf or anyone for that matter is super moronic. Muhrica proves you can buy a gun an still be dumb enough to not even gun safety 101, sooo it would be very normal to take it as a joke like OP did and screw around as if it was a mexican stand-off/OK corral. You didn't wait for him to ask you something about mark twain, now, OP? There was your misunderstanding.

  2. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    >>as he's sitting down he pulls out a gun and sets it down facing me
    >>'tism activates, think he's inviting me to do the same
    my gun on coffee table too
    >>"What're you trying to say there, boy?"
    >>"I haven't even spoken yet though"
    >>"You calling me a liar?"
    >>"What?"
    Thanks for the laugh.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      I’m crying laughing

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      If my daughter's boyfriend did that, I'd nod appreciatively and become his friend.

  3. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    i love your autistic energy, anon. i hope in time your future father in law will remove the stick from his ass and appreciate you. you've found a keeper.

  4. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    This is your invitation to show up on thier front door with your best long guns (note plural) and ask for his daughter to go shooting. Make sure to autism out and say it like "I'm here to have fun with your daughter".
    Remember pack your best guns and prettiest long guns and have at least one in each hand. bonus points for extras slinged across your back. Je may just become your new range buddy!

  5. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    >"What're you trying to say there, boy?"
    >"I haven't even spoken yet though"
    >"You calling me a liar?"
    >"What?"

    kino, thought I was on PrepHole there for a sec

  6. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    I’m a caligay and I was attending a class in Wyoming and decided to buy a few Glock 17 round magazines and 30 round Pmags to make my life easier. I went to the Sportsman’s in Laramie and the checker, after looking at my ID, refused to sell me the magazines. I asked if or the manager and they got into a fight about selling them to someone out of state. Turns out the kid was from California and studying pre-law at UoW. I ended up getting the magazine but he said under his breath that it was against the law, along with some other shit I ignored.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      That's bullshit and his cuck is seeping out. Also why'd you need to show ID? Only time I went to sportsman's was in vegas and they didn't ask shit.

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        Pre-law kid was asking everyone, even old men for IDs.

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          sounds like he's the type to willingly take dick up the ass haha

          • 1 year ago
            Anonymous

            How’s law school?

            • 1 year ago
              Anonymous

              it's like frickin ya muddah!

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          Pre law is such a fricking meme and probably one of the worst things you can do to get into law school. I was a journalism major who went to work writing for newspapers and i got into a top 20 program despite my undergrad GPA only being a 3.1 and super average lsat score (did not study at all).

          • 1 year ago
            Anonymous

            Isn't law generally a meme these days with the amount of graduates?

            • 1 year ago
              Anonymous

              It dropped off a bit in recent years but yea you can pretty easily set yourself up for a bad time by going to a shitty school and accumulating lots of debt. I'm at a state school so it's very affordable, it's a great program and I'm not a moron so I have good class rank. I'll be fine.

          • 1 year ago
            Anonymous

            I read, in a psychometric book, that philosophy majors score the highest on the LSAT, GRE, and GMAT. Bio chem scored the highest on the old MCAT before they turned it into a quasi sociology test.

            • 1 year ago
              Anonymous

              my premed friend got advice that he should go studio art because an easy af degree means better gpa, dunno if he actually did

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          hes obviously a little liberal activist homosexual

          >Be white guy from normal, high trust rural town
          >Dating Asian girl
          >Girl living with host family in LA
          >Go to pick her up, ring the doorbell
          >Man's voice from inside says "come in"
          >Open door
          >Staring down barrel of gun
          >HOW DARE YOU OPEN MY DOOR I COULD HAVE SHOT YOU AND BEEN IN THE RIGHT
          >Host "father" claims that he said "coming"

          Since this single event, I have hated all boomers and all Californians.

          >takes security seriously by answering door with gun
          >leaves door unlocked

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      yeah that's bullshit there's no sportsman's in Laramie

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        Looks like didn’t pass the LSATs!

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          Jokes on you, it's closed.

          • 1 year ago
            Anonymous

            Damn, I hope the cookie shop a few stores down is still open?

          • 1 year ago
            Anonymous

            Yeah, but it opens at 9:00.

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        >he doesn't know that many people tell stories on 4ch but switch the state/city so they don't end up like scoob from PrepHole
        newbieggggggggggggggggggggggggggg

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      i hope you called him a little rat israelite and told him to leave that based state and go to the homosexualy shithole california he adores

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      >Turns out the kid was from California and studying pre-law at UoW.
      One of the worst breeds of homosexual imaginable

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      I know California has such laws regarding firearms but I don't think they apply to mags and ammo.

  7. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    If a girl's dad is a c**t to you, take it out on the girl. Tell her you don't wanna hang out with her anymore because her dad doesn't seem to want you to. Watch how quick that gets sorted out.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      Lmao this. Frickheads like that don't realize how quickly their adult daughter will cut ties with them the instant it starts affecting her life.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      >not taking the Tunnel Snake pill
      >Not showing up with slicked greaser hair and fingerless gloves while his precious little girl hops on the back of your Harley
      >not raw dogging his daughter and then abandoning her after she gets pregnant only to show up 17 years 11 months and 30 days later to meet your daughter

  8. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    >NPC
    >non-person of color.
    Did I just wake up in a coma?

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      yes and it made you moronic

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        >probably
        Are you a non-person of color, too?

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          NPC?

  9. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    The only proper response to a dad pulling a gun out is to laugh audibly and say “hey I used to have one of those when I first got into shooting! Didn’t know anyone still had those”.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      Unironically when my girlfriends dad tried this shit I just started talking about guns with him like I didn’t even notice he was making passive aggressive threats and it worked out pretty well.

  10. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    >"I haven't even spoken yet though"

  11. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    I love this story. I was spending Christmas at my (ex) gf’s two years ago and her dad was “showing” me his gun collection to scare me. He kept pulling out bigger and bigger guns to “show” me but they ended up becoming these comically large shotguns or rifles with five foot bayonets and swords, ect where I realized he was just moronic.

  12. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Let's see Paul Allen's gun

  13. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    >>as he's sitting down he pulls out a gun and sets it down facing me
    >>'tism activates, think he's inviting me to do the same
    my gun on coffee table too
    >>"What're you trying to say there, boy?"
    >>"I haven't even spoken yet though"
    You might think this was the wrong & awkward move but you did the right thing OP by showing that the fathers passive threats wont work on you.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      Its even better that he did it unknowingly and just shrugged it off. Insecure dads who feel like they have to threaten random guys are total gays who've never done anything worth a damn and know it.

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        Have a daughter and get back to us moron.

  14. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    >signaling to her dad that you would literally fight him if it meant you could get her hand in marriage
    extraordinarily based anon

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      Pretty much this. I’d be happy to see a potential suitor confidentially carry a gun. As long as it wasn’t a pos.

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        >sets a nu sig plastered with anime decals on table
        Your daughter now please

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          >drop it on the ground. If it misfires get out of my house.
          I don’t want anyone misfiring into my daughter.

  15. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    cool story hansel

  16. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    lol wtf. Do Americans really? Who the frick pulls out a gun on their daughter's bf? Are you fricks legit unhinged?

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      >Are you fricks legit unhinged
      yes

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      >lol wtf. Do Americans really? Who the frick pulls out a gun on their daughter's bf?
      Yeah it's legitimately a redneck "if you hurt my daughter I will END YOU" thing.

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        do rednecks really do this after meeting their daughters bf for their first time?
        I feel like you need to get to know them a little more before escalating

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          >do rednecks really do this after meeting their daughters bf for their first time?
          Yes, really, first time meeting the parents, father pulls out gun and starts cleaning it to show that he's hEaViLy ArMeD and ain't gonna put up with no shit from no pansy-ass city homosexual boy making his daughter sad.

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          Most of them don't but the few that do watch too many movies

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          >do rednecks really do this after meeting their daughters bf for their first time?
          Yes, really, first time meeting the parents, father pulls out gun and starts cleaning it to show that he's hEaViLy ArMeD and ain't gonna put up with no shit from no pansy-ass city homosexual boy making his daughter sad.

          This almost happened to me but I was such a manlet as a teenager my exs dad probably didn’t feel threatened at all to scare me. One time though…
          >be me, 17 or 18ish
          >watching movie at exs parents house.
          >made little bed on floor of living room with blankets.
          >snuggled pretty close but all hands above deck so no funny business.
          >her dad comes home.
          >this man is like 6’6 285 at least.
          >super into hunting, rifles and bows.
          >has a safe the size of my car in garage.
          >known to get belligerently drunk.
          >he staggers into living room and looks at me.
          > “KNOCK THAT OFF”
          >I’m halfway out of the blanket burrito and fully intend to throw my body through the side window to avoid what might be coming.
          >he relaxes and chuckles to himself and stumbles off to bed.
          That was the day I thought I was going to be snapped in half.
          Also forgot to mention, he keeps a leather cowboy gun belt(fully loaded, revolver and all) hanging on the bed lost next to comically large cowboy boots. Like I’m a size 11 1/2 and I could fit my feet inside these boots while still wearing my sneakers. Her mom was nice at least.
          Pic related.

          • 1 year ago
            Anonymous

            You squirming for those five seconds probably made his night. Wholesome story.

            [...]

            Ironic shitposting is still shitposting.

            >How dare you threaten me when I was threatening you. I won't be threatened in my own home.
            op sorry but you're going to have to find a new girl the amount of autism contained in your combined dna would be too much.

            >trying to hold back homosexual Novus
            Just embrace the future.

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          They abuse women so they automatically assume you'll abuse their daughters too if they don't threaten you with death

          • 1 year ago
            Anonymous

            This post reeks of s.oy. The only people I ever knew to abuse their women where drug addicts and Antifa gays.

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          Every time without fail

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          >do rednecks really
          I had it done to me. I mocked the guy to his face, dumped his daughter then spread a 50 lb bag of birdseed over his brand new lawn.

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          Only absolute morons just pull a gun on the boyfriend. Ideally, you take a nuanced approach. Just show the man your firearms collection or something. Only a total homosexual just pulls a gun. There should be a respectful insinuation of extreme violence, but it should always remain friendly.

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        Not always a redneck thing. When I met my father in law like ten years ago, he pulled a gun out maybe ten minutes after meeting him, but my wife told him I was Into guns, he was big into guns as well. He bought me a 10/22 for my last bday, because I didn't have a 10/22.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      Yeah

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      Lmao. Never seen the old “cleaning my shotgun when my daughters first date comes over” meme?

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      Every girl I’ve ever dated required me to go through a conversation with her dad that involved him threatening to murder me. I have no idea why. I’m not moronic and they’re all lying pussies considering none of them ever even had the balls to take a swing at me. It’s this weird boomer honor thing.

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        Are you black?

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          >black
          >father figure

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        Jesus fricking christ, during my entire life i had only once been vaguely threatened by my gf's father, when we were both 16 and he caught us fricking. Why the frick are americans like this? Is it really socially acceptable to threaten others in the US or only in some Hillbillystan?

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          To weed out scaredy homosexuals like you

          • 1 year ago
            Anonymous

            >scaredy
            I continued to frick her for a few months. Maybe you get scared of 50yo out of shape frickers, in that case i strongly reccomend you go for a run this evening and go lift some weights homosexual

            • 1 year ago
              Anonymous

              sure you did cupcake,simmer down

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          can you greentext the story when you got caught hehe, for scientific reasons, of course. and be sure to explain how her pussy smelled and how wet it was

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        I had a girlfriend whose dad did this. Showed me his trophy room, talked about how good of a shot he was, told me specific stories about the bears and hogs he had mounted on the wall... We talked about guns, had a couple diet Dr. Peppers and became friends. It is tradition which should be understood by all men and practiced. It is the duty of the family patriarch to defend them. Any man that wishes to become part of the family must be made aware and, most importantly, get on board with it. If you marry the woman, you are the next pater familias and it is incumbent upon you to take over these duties once the old man is no longer capable of doing it for himself.

        My father in law recently passed away and I am now the patriarch of my family. Take it very seriously and understand, and have always understood, the rationale. If you don't get it, maybe you should take the time to figure it out. It is the core responsibility of all fathers and adult men have seemingly forgotten this.

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          Lmao, your dead father in law and you are dumb pussies if you can't project authority without a prop. It's fine, not many can but it's just equal measures funny, sad and pathetic when you try.

          • 1 year ago
            Anonymous

            My father in law was a much better man than you.

          • 1 year ago
            Anonymous

            you sound like a passive aggressive little b***h, post guns.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      >lol wtf. Do Americans really? Who the frick pulls out a gun on their daughter's bf? Are you fricks legit unhinged?
      >Americans
      >"Not unhinged"
      Who's gonna tell him guys?
      I'm European, so it's not my job.
      But someone really needs to tell him tho.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      Shotgun weddings are called that for a reason

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      >he doesn't know
      Also here in India, in the state of Bihar, it was pretty common for a young man with a new job to get be nabbed by a family and forced into a marriage with their daughter. It's pretty rare now but there's still a case every few years.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      Wondering this as well, must be some boomer thing they're copying from a popular movie years ago. Comes across as 'I'm a wannabe tough guy' thing. You're going to threaten to murder your children's romantic partners? This is why people don't speak to their parents and put them in nursing homes

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        no one's fricking my daughter but ME

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous
          • 1 year ago
            Anonymous

            Nah, she just ends up getting knocked up by Black folk.

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          https://i.imgur.com/acwRpEm.jpg

          It goes both ways, anons.

          • 1 year ago
            Anonymous

            kek, I'm gonna save this but I dunno when I'll ever use it. Some people are genuinely so coombrained and twisted they can't even consider being near the opposite gender and fricking it even if it was their daughter.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      Shit up eurocuck, you and your gipsys and farmfricks used to have shotgun weddings too idiot ignorant shit breathed loser

  17. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    She really none ofyour business youre freak cradkle robber

  18. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    >'tism activates, think he's inviting me to do the same
    >place my gun on coffee table too
    >"What're you trying to say there, boy?"
    >"I haven't even spoken yet though"
    I'm gonna send you a Vitamix when you marry this girl

  19. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    >Be white guy from normal, high trust rural town
    >Dating Asian girl
    >Girl living with host family in LA
    >Go to pick her up, ring the doorbell
    >Man's voice from inside says "come in"
    >Open door
    >Staring down barrel of gun
    >HOW DARE YOU OPEN MY DOOR I COULD HAVE SHOT YOU AND BEEN IN THE RIGHT
    >Host "father" claims that he said "coming"

    Since this single event, I have hated all boomers and all Californians.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      That’s what you get for dating an Asian let alone one from California.

  20. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Decades ago I had a friend who was almost as into guns as I was. He started dating some chick who was more than a little brainless.

    They'd been dating a couple of months when I picked up some stuff that I couldn't legally keep at my house because "constructive intent" so I asked if I could store it at his place until I got the relevant legal crap taken care of. He said ok.

    So I show up with a heavy box, and the chick is there, and she gets all excited and absolutely fricking demands to see what's in the box. And when she sees that it's gun parts, she flips her lid and demands to know whether her boyfriend owns any guns because she doesn't like guns.

    I mean, he has NRA magazines all over his coffee table, an NRA refrigerator magnet on his refrigerator (weird place for a refrigerator magnet, I know, he was a weird guy), big gun safe in his spare bedroom . . . gee I dunno ya think maybe?

    Anyway, shortly thereafter they announce she's moving in with him, and he dumps me as a friend because she doesn't like me.

    I hope they got married and she kept his balls in the inevitable divorce settlement.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      Damn that coochie must have been crazy to make a man drop his friends and hobby.

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        Sad! Many such cases.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      Constructive intent is bullshit boomerlore

  21. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    I love the look of sheer unbridled glee on that cop's face.

  22. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    >be me
    >work for a software contracting agency
    >they have me on a travel assignment
    >I get to come home one weekend a month
    >terminate my apartment lease
    >move my stuff into my little childhood bedroom at my mother's house
    >because why not, save another $800/mo off rent
    >use my airline tickets to have minivacations
    >visit Mom at Thanksgiving
    >where's my stuff?
    >in particular where are my canisters of reloading powder?
    >Mom, where is my gunpowder?!?!
    >"you're obviously doing something illegal so I hid it so the cops wouldn't find it if they showed up"
    >facepalm
    >nothing is illegal, Mom, this is all perfectly legal
    >where is it?
    She put it next to the furnace in the basement, along with a leaking plastic bottle of kerosene-based "Ed's Red" gun cleaner/lubricant.
    >quadruple facepalm

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      >leaving guns/gun supplies in a someone else’s house that doesn’t know anything about guns.
      Sounds pretty moronic on your part.

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        My dad got rid of my black powder when I left home because of the wildfires in CA thanks dad…

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      >"you're obviously doing something illegal so I hid it so the cops wouldn't find it if they showed up"
      Your mom is incredibly based. Give her a hug.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      >>"you're obviously doing something illegal so I hid it so the cops wouldn't find it if they showed up"
      She's got the right spirit

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      >this is all perfectly legal
      there's your problem anon

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      >I hid it so the cops wouldn't find it if they showed up
      based mom, she's a keeper

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      Your mom sounds like she's in your corner if shit actually did go down. Give her a hug, anon.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      based mom rigging a welcome present for the feds, shame she got an ungrateful brainlet

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      >mom hides your shit
      Based mom.
      >next to the furnace so the feds will get ackbar'd
      BASED

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      That b***h. Here's my moronic mom story
      >mom gets cancer, step dad is a spineless gay
      >stronger than him when I was a 16yo NEET, despite him working construction jobs and myself doing frick all with my life
      >I'm joining the army, mom requests I leave her a firearm for home defense
      >bad idea since she's a c**t who'll possibly try to sell it, but I agree
      >leave her with my great Grandpa's Remington model 31 and my AR-10
      >come back from Basic Training
      >wherearemygunsbitch.webm
      >she decided it was safer to keep them in the garage than the bedroom
      >so she buried the Remington under a pile of nails and scrap would and lazily tossed the AR-10 into a humid corner behind the water heater

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        did she think they would grow legs and murder her in her sleep?

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          I have no idea. She claimed she "had PTSD" because her brother shot a shotgun off the back porch when she was young, plus she was just a shitty person in general so I think she did it for attention

    • 1 year ago
      stoner

      I feel it bro. When i was lin high school i spent one summer making a sten in the backyard shed, mom found it flipped out and called the sherifs. Luckily the guy to respond was my buddy jeffs brother. They confiscated it. My moms nuts she recently swore i was at january 6th and reported me to the fbi cause “she just knows i was there”

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      Based, kinda like my dad
      >call parents on the phone
      >tell them I went hunting for the first time and bagged a button buck
      >mom spergs out, "With what gun??"
      >an AR I put together from an 80%
      >Anon! That's illegal, you can't do that
      >I prefer there to be no paper trail and it is legal actually
      >"Why didn't you just use the AR you left at the farm?"
      >My dad says what AR (jokingly)?
      >Can hear the look my mom is giving him over the phone
      >Can't help but laugh

  23. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Are lead paint chips in a marinade of mercury a local dish where you come from? All of you sound fricking moronic.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      you mean breakfast? that sounds like breakfast.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      Go back to your ukraine thread homosexual

  24. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    >be me
    >live in liberal EU country
    >honestly country is comfy as frick so can't complain much, all things considered
    >gun ownership is incredibly rare and relatively obscure to get into
    >/k/ autism commands me to jump through the hoops to get a gun license
    >end up owning 4 firearms
    >liberally argue for gun rights, etc, with my friends and strangers
    >get qt3.14 countryside tomboy gf through absurd luck
    >she likes that I own guns
    >meet her parents
    >her dad is an old retired sergeant who did 25 years inna military
    >incredibly based man who takes me an gf shooting at a shooting club his old army buddy runs
    >when my gf was sick as a kid, he'd take her to work and have her chill with the mechanics in the tank repair shop
    >gf says she's nostalgic about the smell of oil and gunpowder mixed together
    >one day tell her to smell inside my gun safe
    >she absolutely loves it

    I love my gf bros.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      Well done fren. Have lots of kids.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      I'm happy for you fren.
      >happy apu image

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      I'm happy for you anon.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      >qt3. 14 countryside tomboy gf who likes guns
      If you don't marry and impregnate her at least 3 times you deserve to be hunted down and killed.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      >gf
      >not newly wed
      ANON YOU HAVE TO COMMIT

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      Things like this makes me so happy. Don't understand how people can have a bitter incel mindset. I'm glad for you homies.

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        >Don't understand how people can have a bitter incel mindset
        Years of neglect will do that to you. I was a big fan of MGTOW before I found my girlfriend.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      I came here for laff not feel anon

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      Cute and good luck anon

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      Shit, that actually brings memories of dad sometimes bringing me onto the airbase because mum wasn't available and he had something come up at work. Spent some time hanging around C-130 hangars, I'll never forget the smell.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      >gf says she's nostalgic about the smell of oil and gunpowder mixed together
      >one day tell her to smell inside my gun safe
      >she absolutely loves it
      that is incredibly cute anon

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      Kiss her and know that hundreds of kommandos around the world are cheering you on to make a happy huge family

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      I cry both because it's beautiful and I sorrow that I lack the same

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      I feel intense jealousy.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      This post was made by an AI from a prompt. Boomers & redd*tors always fall for it

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      Put a god damn bun in her oven and a ring on her finger in that order.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      you lucky bastard, make us proud and raise a /k/ family.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      So cute.
      Marry her and make based babies together.

      I'm also a EU gay.
      We need to Make Guns Cool Again, in Europe.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      Buy a house, put her in that house and put a baby in her. That is your new goal.

  25. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    >I'm an NPC dating an NPC who is the daughter of an NPC

    This statement is what caught me off guard.

  26. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    >be me
    >hitting the dab pen
    >Look at my 30 bore
    >put the dab pen in the chamber
    >take a huge hit, dieing, shit tasted good
    >also be me
    >Look at my 12 bore
    >Get the pipe out
    >Put the mouthpiece in the chamber
    >Take a huuuge hit, shit tasted mostly just like smoking from a pipe
    >Dont like pipes that much anymore prefer the bong
    >Got those gunpoweder and hoppes 9 terpy notes

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      I understood some of those words.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      I read this is a Boomhower voice to make it more fun.

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        Not him, but it's not pepe that makes you a redditor. Its the homosexualy le updoot way you guys are posting.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      >guys I smoke weed instead of having a personality!

      You’re a degenerate

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        Seethe sour grape american

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          Not that anon, burger, I can smoke weed legally whenever I want to. I don't anymore because its moronic and isn't a fulfilling hobby.

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          moron

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        >guys I don't smoke weed instead of having a personality!
        lol shut the frick up

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      FYI hoppes #9 is like 80% isopropyl alcohol, just substitute that

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        but iso doesn't smell like nannerpuss

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        Not even close

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          check the MSDS if you need the rest of the additives

          WHY THE FRICK DOESN'T /k/ SUPPORT PDF, ALL THE OTHER COOL BOARDS SUPPORT IT

          https://www.hoppes.com/on/demandware.static/-/Library-Sites-HuntShootAccessoriesSharedLibrary/default/dwfbc7ef45/productPdfFiles/hoppesPdf/sds/04e3a446-2860-4fdd-9e91-49ea662e5830.pdf

          have a Serval instead

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      >Hoppes 9 terpy notes

      I got a cold or rona or some shit and coughed/kekd so hard i almost blacked out.

    • 1 year ago
      stoner

      We where smoking weed out of my chinese 870 when my friends came over as a haha. its pretty cool

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      You’re going to die of lead poisoning.

  27. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    [...]

    Are you the
    >WHAT DOES THE THREAD HAVE TO DO WITH THE REDDIT FROG
    spammer from PrepHole?

  28. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    >place my gun on coffee table too
    How does it feel to have the biggest dick on /k/

  29. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    I liked this story but I can't tell if it was written by A.I. or not.

  30. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    That's pretty great Anon. I had something similar happen once. Rough tough daddy was gleaning his Glock on the living room table when I came over to pick up his daughter (she's 18 I'm 21). I see it there, in pieces... "Hey, a Glock. I carry this. *Pulls out loaded fully assembled Beretta*

    Look on his face... Good times.

    Tell the story often and proud.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      Should have grab his daughter by the hand to leave then tossed him the gun and asked him to clean it for you while you’re gone.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      You’ve never touched a gun.

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        I have touched your mom.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      *teleports behind u*
      *taps u on the shoulder*
      *teleports behind u again when u turn to look*

      Ah ah ah mister, if this story was true why did you specify it as a fully assembled Beretta? Who would walk around concealed carrying a disassembled firearm?

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        >he doesn't carry at least two decoy guns

  31. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Put me in the screencap

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous
      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        lmfao!!!
        fricking underrated as frick

  32. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    >you go to meet gf's family
    >father clearly has stick up his ass
    >he puts his gun on the table facing you
    >you put yours down
    >mom comes in and starts screaming
    >all the time he looks at you like this

    What do you do?

  33. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    That's a dangerously based kind of autism you have there OP

  34. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    >first gf at 24
    >place my gun on coffee table too
    yeah

  35. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    [...]

    Just being nice isn't a reddit thing, if nobody was nice to you or ever showed you any kind of affection or positivity is not our problem

  36. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    >How dare you threaten me when I was threatening you. I won't be threatened in my own home.
    op sorry but you're going to have to find a new girl the amount of autism contained in your combined dna would be too much.

  37. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Keep it up, threaten him constantly in his own house. Boomers talk a big game but never do shit when it comes down to it.

  38. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    [...]

    >Wowzers I diddnt know /k/ was a reddit-friendly board ^_^ nice to see you my fellow MAGApedes!

    Pepe isn't a fricking MAGA thing. Pepe's been a PrepHole meme way before Trump was even a republican.

  39. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    OPs gf has never seen or touched his waistband

  40. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Then everyone clapped.

  41. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Lmfao OP you’re accidentally based don’t let anyone tell you different.

  42. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Nice blog. Subscribe.

  43. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Can't say I ever had this experience. When I went to Montana to meet my now-wife's parents I brought a pistol and a suppressed AR. Got to their swank ass property and her dad had guns lying all over the place, a metal bunker under a hill, and a fricking secret room. I was like, MY PEOPLE and we did the onions pointing face at each other's stuff then went up the mountain to go blasting. Now she preg with #2.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      Zach what’s up homie

  44. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    >bought a Saiga 12 for my first shotgun (12 Gauge AK)
    >it was cucked due to import law with a silly monte-carlo style stock and the trigger moved back to where the pistol grip was
    >strip it down to parts and do all the prep to convert it to proper AK setup
    >had to repaint part of the receiver but had nowhere to bake it because lol apartment appliances
    >buddy invites me over for D&D so I ask him if I can use his oven, tell him why, he's down, so I bring all the parts in a backpack
    >D&D night is a hit, get high and his neighbors come over to join in on game and bowls
    >receiver finished baking so I grab it and just start putting it together in a feel good fog
    >before anyone really noticed what was happening, I'm sitting there fondling a fully assembled shotgun
    >his neighbors love it, quickly become known as the guy who's house we go to if the world is ending
    >later as I'm leaving i realize there is no way it's going back in the backpack
    >friend offers some newspaper so I wrapped it up like a fish and carried it the two blocks to my car at 1am waiting for someone to call the cops on me
    Found a picture to steal for reference

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      I hope you set your call sign as The Muffin Man.

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        https://i.imgur.com/LnKFYXH.jpg

        >"Hmm, that smells good. What are you baking?"
        >"A shotgun."

        Kek

        3/?
        >working at a gun range, cashier that day so in the shop
        >range is separate door, with its own desk and the range past that behind ballistic glass
        >RO was this nice old Fudd named Mike, guy was a little special but he'd been there for decades so everyone just kinda accepted it
        >I called the RO desk to ask Mike a question
        >"hey anon, what's up?"
        >I hear a gunshot over the phone
        >range proper is behind the glass, you can't hear anything from the office
        >that means a gun went off within 5 feet of Mike
        >"are you okay Mike?"
        >Mike, shaken "uh, yeah."
        >"is anyone shot?"
        >"no."
        >"I'm sending security, do you want me to call 911?"
        >"no, we're fine."
        >called security officer and he goes running over
        >minute later see the manager, ask him what's happening at the range, he gives me a puzzled look, so I told him about the call and he runs over to the range too
        >two boomers were shooting a pistol and when they'd finished just dropped the mag
        >one of them noticed as they're leaving that the hammer is still wienered, so he points it and pulls the trigger, killing a trash can, the floor behind it, and the bullet lodges in the wall next to the exit door
        >privileges at the range not revoked, Mike and Security didn't even get their names

        Not really it's own story, but had someone bring in a .50 BMG on my day off which punched several holes in the backstop and the back wall of the range.

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          >killing a trash can
          My sides.
          >Mikes a little moronic but we just accept it.
          Anyone working at a range or gunshop are by definition a little moronic. Makes it easier to communicate with the morons that frequent the establishment.

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          >had someone bring in a .50 BMG on my day off which punched several holes in the backstop and the back wall of the range.
          tell us anon pls

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      >"Hmm, that smells good. What are you baking?"
      >"A shotgun."

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      me

      Another storytime
      >be super into guns in my early 20s
      >kinda liking a girl who's being crushed on by some redneck who she's known for years
      >randomly wind up at his place one day for a small party and he asks if I wanna see his MP5
      >doubt.jpg
      >go to his room, he reaches under his bare mattress and pulls out a...
      >hipoint carbine
      >quickly realize he's totally ignorant, he's swearing up and down it's an MP5, I can't convince him
      >Show him my FNX
      >he thinks it's a Sig, again can't change his mind
      >leave and never come back
      >girl calls and asks why I left the party
      >tell her I don't like her friend, he's kinda dumb
      >she agreed with me
      >she leaves too and we hook up
      >dated her for a while too but she got the crazy

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        >hi point carbine
        Helluva shotgun

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          Checked

          >had someone bring in a .50 BMG on my day off which punched several holes in the backstop and the back wall of the range.
          tell us anon pls

          Not much to tell, I missed all the fun.

          4/?
          >despite my parents being league shooters and damn good shots, they gave it up when we were little kids
          >was never really close with my dad, he wasn't a bad dad, just unavailable
          >when I got old enough I got into guns on my own
          >took hunter's safety to learn basics of safe firearm handling
          >many years pass
          >have son of my own, start taking him to the range at 10
          >dad tells me he got a new gun for HD, we start talking about guns, he gets to relive all his stories about his favorite guns
          >i invite my dad shooting and he actually accepts
          >all the really fun guns of his are long gone, but he brings his new pistol
          >he tries all my funs, struggles a bit with some because his hands aren't what they used to be
          >shoots with his grandson for the first time, impressed with his skill
          >later he tells me he's sorry he didn't spend more time with us as kids and he's trying his best to be there for us now
          >he knows it'll never make up for what we missed when we were kids, but he's glad we've grown into good parents
          >later gifts me an old Ruger security six from his league days
          >I'm saving it for my son for his eighteenth birthday
          Pic related, with my son's favorite, the Rossi 92 in .38/.357

          Last one tonight, if thread's still alive I'll post more in the morning

          • 1 year ago
            Anonymous

            Absolutely based. My dad gave me my grandpas Ruger gp100 after my college grad. My dad and grandpa both had one so now my dad and I both have one. Ruger 6 shooters definitely survive the test of time.

          • 1 year ago
            Anonymous

            Stop you're gonna make me cry

          • 1 year ago
            Anonymous

            >he knows it'll never make up for what we missed when we were kids, but he's glad we've grown into good parents
            sisterwife? hot

          • 1 year ago
            Anonymous

            i came here to read stories about soccer moms n stuff not feel about things i will never have

          • 1 year ago
            Anonymous

            me

            >he knows it'll never make up for what we missed when we were kids, but he's glad we've grown into good parents
            sisterwife? hot

            5 sisters, 3 moms

            Kind of surprised this thread is still alive.
            5/?

            >DD for night out with friends
            >lived in IL at the time, carry by permit only
            >had unloaded revolver and a speed loader in a case under the seat
            >friend has me stop the car to vomit on the way back at about 3am
            >small town cop rolls up, immediately starts yelling at us
            >decides he's got probable cause for a search, calls backup
            >pulls us all out, handcuffs us and sits us on the curb
            >finds gun (legal in IL, unloaded and in a case, common misconception it's gotta be locked and no ammo near it)
            >confirm it's mine, no concealed permit
            >"Anon you're under arrest for Felony Unlawful Use of a Weapon"
            >wat.jpg
            >car is impounded, I'm taken to police department, I'm the only one there besides desk officer, holding cell is 50 degrees and they took my sweater so I don't hang myself
            >get transferred to county lockup, miss morning bond Court so I'm there till morning the next day
            >no cell so I've got one call which I've got to remember the number from memory, they didn't tell me you only get one minute for free call
            >concrete bench and a rather peaceful 24 hours in a holding cell with 6 other guys
            >surprised how open they were about their crimes
            >guy in custody battle with ex who's pulling shenanigans
            >two guys who got swatted with a kilo of coke in their apartment, got to listen in while they compared notes, one got to the toilet with the stuff, good times
            >one guy picked up after walking out of the home depot with a bunch of tools that he'd swapped the upcs on, admitted getting away with it multiple times
            >get bailed out by my dad next day
            >long story short, lawyer gets all charges dropped, I was legally transporting and I wasn't a convicted felon or known gang member which bumps charge to felony, arrest expunged from my record and I got to pick up my gun from the department's desk
            >found out its really hard to get a lawyer willing to sue a police department

            • 1 year ago
              Anonymous

              >5 sisters, 3 moms
              I meant to say I have 5 sisters and 3 of them are moms, none of them sister wives obv

              >current gf bought me an AR for my birthday

            • 1 year ago
              Anonymous

              Shoulda asked your cell mates to rough you up and blame it on the cops.

            • 1 year ago
              Anonymous

              you better fricking sue you homosexual or this shit will keep happening. if you need the money make a gofundme and we will all pitch in

            • 1 year ago
              Anonymous

              >found out its really hard to get a lawyer willing to sue a police department
              Not really, it's just that it's basically impossible to win (thank the Supreme Court and their bullshit judicially-created "qualified immunity" doctrine, where even cops caught on camera disabling all but one video camera (oops) in a business so that they can steal stuff from the business are shielded because they might not have known it's illegal to steal while doing their jobs), so we're not going to do it on contingency. If you're willing to pay me $400/hr for my billable time even though I tell you up front you're going to lose, I'll be happy to take your case. Overjoyed, in fact.

  45. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    >buy old mystery meat c96
    >go to test fire it
    >load 1 round fires fine
    >load two rounds
    >bang bang
    >find hole in front door
    >dent on a.c. compressor housing
    > bullet bounced off the compressor
    >went thru some drywall
    >stopped in a bottle of Canada dry ginger ale in my fridge.
    Found out the cause was a malfunctioning safety.
    I shoot left handed and I was holding the grip too high,so the safety caught the meat on my hand on recoil . As the gun was coming back down the safety disengaged and acted as a second trigger.
    I was down in the woods behind a slight hill at the time to.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous
      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous
        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous
          • 1 year ago
            Anonymous

            And here's the bullet
            Its amazing how much shit a 9mm will gomthru

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      >I shoot left handed and I was holding the grip too high,so the safety caught the meat on my hand on recoil . As the gun was coming back down the safety disengaged and acted as a second trigger.
      This was one with the original safety type, rechambered for 9mm (up being fire and down being safe), I take it? I know there was a problem that made them switch to the "new" type, but I've never heard of anyone actually firing one by accident that way before.

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        It has an m30 safety. Issue is the safety itself is loose and needs to be replaced. If the trigger is pulled at any point in the travel of the safety it will drop the hammer upon being disengaged . unless you put it all the way in the safe position. The hammer will still drop but it won't make contact with the firing pin. I can also reset the sear by just putting downward pressure on the hammer. Here's a video of whats happening

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          Thanks for the explanation. I've never seen that behavior before.

        • 1 year ago
          stoner

          My m30 does this too. Is it not supposed to drop the hammer at all when on safe?

          • 1 year ago
            Anonymous

            Put your safety in between safe and fire and pull the trigger,then put it on fire or safe. If the hammer drops either way something's out of spec. What's supposed to happen is the safety supposed to put downward pressure on the sear as it's being moved to safe, the only time the sear should be allowed to drop is either on fire or what it's fully and safe which will allow the hammer to drop that keep it off the firing pin since there's a channel cut out for it.
            >pic related

  46. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    >carry tiny .45 derringer because work forbids cc but a legitimate felon comes every day just to handle his illegal ar in the parking lot and stalk a coworker
    >have derringer next to me on my desk at home
    >roommates mother makes fun of me for carrying "such a cute gun"
    That's about it

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      post cute gun

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        Forgot to post fun

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          cute

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      >convicted felon
      >has rifle
      >comes back frequently
      Bruh do you work in the Mad Max universe? Call the damn police and watch the fireworks.

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        that would be racist towards felons

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        I know it sounds insane, but the coworker he stalks calls the police and then proceeds to call him to let him know the police have been called

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          Oh god one of those people. Dw about the coworker anon, people like that are perpetual victims. You never asked yourself why the coworker obviously tolerates having contact with an armed stalker?
          I guarantee they aren't really calling the police.

          • 1 year ago
            Anonymous

            Their weird love/hate relationship isn't my business tbh, I only concern myself with the fact that a drug addict with a history of violence has a gun in the parking lot. The police have showed up and staked the place out on multiple occasions, apparently they are really interested in getting the guy

  47. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    You are what we call a "based moron", anon

  48. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Absolutely based behaviour anon, you sure showed him

  49. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Sure sounds there’s a lot of CA homosexuals running around out here.

  50. 1 year ago
    The Laughing Lad

    >The dad pulls out gun and puts it on the table.
    >I snort, pick it up, examining it briefly before saying “Do they make these for men”?
    >Toss the gun back down on the table, nonchalantly.
    >I draw my katana and place it on the table, knocking over the gravy boat. >He sits, mogged, mouth agape.
    >Look him dead in the eyes “Indeed Sir I walk a different path”.
    >I am a bladepilled edgecell.
    >He stutters about it being his house or some shit.
    >In one deft move cut his tie just under throat level. Shutting him up in his tracks.
    >The mom is stood there in the doorway, half afraid, half moist that somebody has finally stood up to this goober.

  51. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    >father invites me to sit down across the living room table from him
    >as he's sitting down he pulls out a gun and sets it down facing me
    The correct response to some crazy fricking lead-poisoned boomer threatening you with a loaded firearm is to draw and hold him at gunpoint until the police arrive. Not sure why you played along with his moronic little "game".

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      touch grass,
      then re-read the story

  52. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    >father mean mugs me the entire time
    one of my ex gf's dads did that thing where someone looks you up and down but way super tall and he just made a fool out of himself
    almost snapping his spine and falling over to try and snarl at me
    fricking idiot

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      this lmao. I have never been even slightly intimidated by any of my girlfriend's fathers. For whatever reason boomer males in general seem to be very short, fat, and weak.

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        the proper option is to give them a hug when they're giving you the stink eye

        ass grabs and a wink are extra points

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        I had an ex who’s dad was a drunk shitstain and owned a .25 Jimenez and a rusty ass Tec-9. He tried to scare me but I just played dumb, and his drunk ass showed me his guns the very next time I came over, like he forgot the first interaction. Most men who do that are impotent homosexuals.

  53. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Nice.

  54. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    >>'tism activates, think he's inviting me to do the same
    Jesus freaking Christ Almighty.

  55. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    This reminda me of the video where a robber shows a gun to a clerk, the clerk is going full autopilot, grabs the gun, tries to scan it, realizes it's a gun and the robber runs away.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      relatable

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      post webm

  56. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    >>"What're you trying to say there, boy?"
    >>"I haven't even spoken yet though"
    >>"You calling me a liar?"
    >>"What?"
    Oh christ, that is gold. Please be real.

  57. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Holy shit I had something eerily similar happen to me.
    >Get first gf at 23
    >she's 31 and still lives with her parents
    >We plan on having a nice steak dinner but she says her parents want to meet me
    >we decide to have dinner at her place instead
    >her father is a stereotypical boomer who wears his Cabela's hat at the dinner table
    >her mom dresses and acts like a stereotypical 50's wife
    >talk with her dad a bit
    >from what it seems like I'm the first guy the gf has spoken to outside of her family in a decade
    >really a weird situation
    >then out of nowhere he pulls out a snubnose S&W model 36 and puts it on the dining room table
    >but before he could say whatever he was about to say I autistically interrupt him by saying "Oh cool a S&W!"
    >Then I pull out my backup carry, a S&W M36 like his but with after market Nambu M60 grips and a 2 inch barel
    >he looks offended and then pulls out a Surplus M1911A1 and puts it on the table

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      Continued
      >So I then pull out my normal carry, a .45 Colt Commander with sweetheart grips that have a picture of his daughter in them
      >This makes him angry and charge upstairs to grab his Winchester M12 shotgun
      >So I walk out to my car and grab my Ithica M37 in a trenchgun kit from the trunk
      >I don't normally keep a gun in the trunk but I had just picked it up from my lgs before the date
      >he looks shocked like he's seen it before and tells me to meet him Saturday morning to show me something interesting before marching back up to his room and slamming the door
      >her mom says "oh wow he must really like you!"
      >my gf says something but she mumbled so I couldn't understand it but her glasses were fogged completely up so she was probably saying she's been blinded
      >terrified of what the weekend may bring
      >tfw he takes me to the lgs I bought it from
      >go there all the time but I've never seen him before
      >turns out he works in the back to keep count of the .22lr stock
      >tells me that M37 used to be his
      >got it from a buddy that passed away bit he felt like it needed a new home
      >he then tries to shill me an overpriced Springfield M1903A4 that comes with a sling, a few empty clips and a PU scope for some reason
      >politely decline but feel bad about leaving empty handed so I grab a Bass Pro Shops themed pyramid keychain
      >The keychain went through the washing machine once and fell apart
      Fricking Gunstop

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      this never hapened

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        I live in Pencilvanya

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      https://i.imgur.com/eDapq4D.jpg

      Continued
      >So I then pull out my normal carry, a .45 Colt Commander with sweetheart grips that have a picture of his daughter in them
      >This makes him angry and charge upstairs to grab his Winchester M12 shotgun
      >So I walk out to my car and grab my Ithica M37 in a trenchgun kit from the trunk
      >I don't normally keep a gun in the trunk but I had just picked it up from my lgs before the date
      >he looks shocked like he's seen it before and tells me to meet him Saturday morning to show me something interesting before marching back up to his room and slamming the door
      >her mom says "oh wow he must really like you!"
      >my gf says something but she mumbled so I couldn't understand it but her glasses were fogged completely up so she was probably saying she's been blinded
      >terrified of what the weekend may bring
      >tfw he takes me to the lgs I bought it from
      >go there all the time but I've never seen him before
      >turns out he works in the back to keep count of the .22lr stock
      >tells me that M37 used to be his
      >got it from a buddy that passed away bit he felt like it needed a new home
      >he then tries to shill me an overpriced Springfield M1903A4 that comes with a sling, a few empty clips and a PU scope for some reason
      >politely decline but feel bad about leaving empty handed so I grab a Bass Pro Shops themed pyramid keychain
      >The keychain went through the washing machine once and fell apart
      Fricking Gunstop

      Fricking kek
      This makes me want to get m60 grips I wonder where you could actually get reproductions of those

  58. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    >>"What're you trying to say there, boy?"
    >>"I haven't even spoken yet though"
    >>"You calling me a liar?"
    >>"What?"

    Lmao this is a perfect surreal exchange, halfway between Back To The Future and The Matrix

  59. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    >be me
    >on date with a girl waaay out of my league
    >wearing pistol outside the waste band because comfortable, usually wear a jacket during winter time so no prob
    >pick her up
    >things going well, flirting and wearing a cute outfit
    >get to the restaurant
    >sitting near the kitchen getting hot af
    >take off my jacket
    >"you're open-carrying, on our date to Applebees?"

    Pic related.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      You did the right thing anon. Applebees can be unpredictable.

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        At Waffle House it's a necessity.

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        My cousin worked there for a bit and quit because the dish washer would throw knives across the kitchen when business was slow

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      You took a hot date to Applebees? No wonder she dumped you.

  60. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    >buddy has a family friend that's an old Portuguese guy that makes moonshine
    >likes us around because his daughter is an actual moron and his son is gay
    >go to his place for a christmas dinner
    >many shots of moonshine later we ask him to get his guns out
    >he brings his bolt action 22 rifle that he uses to kill coyotes with downstairs
    >my drunk ass picks it up first and works the bolt
    >it had a live round in the chamber
    if anyone else had picked it up someone could have been killed in that kitchen

  61. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    >Sister brings home her first boyfriend.
    >He’s a jacked manlet.
    >Younger brother and I decided to mess with the boyfriend.
    >We both head up stairs.
    >Younger brother gets his Glock and tucks it into the front of his waistband and covers it with his shirt.
    >I too readjust my waistline.
    >Both now packing heat, we head back downstairs.
    >Sister and her boyfriend are snuggling on the couch in the living room.
    >He looks up at us, she’s looking at her phone.
    >My brother and I pass by them on the way to the kitchen.
    >As we saunter by, we lock eyes with the boyfriend.
    >My younger brother lifts his shirt and brandishes his Glock while maintaining eye contact.
    >I lift my shirt and brandish the head of my erect wiener peaking out of the top of my waistband.
    >No one says anything as we break eye contact and leave the room.
    >Sister and her boyfriend date for a few months before he cheats on her with some druggy hoe he met at a party.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      kek this is more autistic than OP. how old were you guys?

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        My brother and I were 21 and 25, respectively. My sister and her boyfriend were around 18 or 19.

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        This whole thread is just a distraction you dumb Black person

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      You made a threat like that and then didn't carry through when he broke your sister's heart? Go to his house and blow out his back door..

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        Neither my brother nor I liked the guy and we expected some dumbass young guy shit sooner or later. So when it happened, we felt bad for my sister, but we weren’t surprised.

  62. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Thank you anon, that was a funny story. That must have been very stressful in the moment but funny in memory

  63. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Mines super fun!

    >Grow up ultra liberal household
    >Guns are evil devil Satan machines
    >Age 29 randomly decide I wanna learn guns
    >Shoot a bunch of guns innawoods
    >Buy some guns next week
    >Put 10k rounds through a Glock 19 in three weeks, easily making groups at 30yds
    >Build AR-15 and put 5k rounds through it, holy shit rifles are easy to hit with pinpoint accuracy
    >Conceal carry everywhere now
    >Known as "gun guru, expert, SHTF guy"
    >Been literally shooting guns for less than 60 days.
    >Th-th-thanks?
    >Realize that shooting and aiming guns is literally the easiest most mindless shit ever. People who think shooting guns accurately and tactically is a special skill are just as moronic as the people who automatically assume guns are dangerous.
    >But it sure is fun as frick

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      >ultra liberal household
      >picks up a firearms hobby on a whim, immediately goes out and buys two guns
      >1500 rounds of centerfire ammunition in three weeks
      >The easiest most mindless shit ever

      Well yeah, practicing is easy when you have an unlimited ammo budget and loads of land to shoot on. Your parents attend Democrat state dinners, don't they?

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        How poor are you that you can't afford two guns and 1500 rounds of ammo at any given moment at age 29 or greater?

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          not him but your first post said 10k rounds through a glock 19 so thats like $3,000 which is substantial for most middle class working sub 30 year olds. im assuming he meant to write 15,000 since you also mentioned 5k rounds through an ar15. either way you sound like a homosexual for thinking you are hot shit at something you dont understand at all. but then again you came from a liberal household so thats to be expected. come back and brag when you can shoot 100 rounds in a row with your glock through a quarter at 7 yards or clip the cotton off a dozen q tips at 15 yards

          • 1 year ago
            Anonymous

            Yep, forgot a zero. I meant 15000.

            How poor are you that you can't afford two guns and 1500 rounds of ammo at any given moment at age 29 or greater?

            10000 rounds of 9mm at about 35-40 cpr is $3500-$4000.
            5000 rounds of .223/5.56 at about $60-$80 cpr is another $3000-$4000.
            A new Glock 19 goes for about $500-$600.
            A decent AR-15 goes for about $1000-$1500 unless he bought a PSA at $500
            Plus magazines, sights, holsters, etc.

            That means you, or this guy that posted if you aren't him, spent AT MINIMUM $8000 over a three week period on a whim picking up a new hobby. Probably a hell of a lot more than that if he's going for "pinpoint accuracy" and put a bunch of upgrade parts in there to make it a "build", and there's no way he did that much shooting without a crapton of mags and probably a bunch of other equipment. He also probably bought at least a couple other guns since he said he bought "some guns", not just those two.

            The guy spent more than the vast majority of people make in a month picking up a hobby in three weeks. He didn't do it because he thought the shit was imminently about to hit the fan, or because he came into a huge windfall, or because he's been into the hobby for years and knows he's really into it and that's his yearly shooty budget. He dumped a high four digit-low five digit lump of change in around a month on a new hobby at twenty nine because he "randomly decided to learn guns".

            • 1 year ago
              Anonymous

              clearly a skill issue

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          Fricking stupid b***h the guy said 10 thousand rounds of 9mm in three weeks. Frick you you illiterate frick and hes like an obese b***h with no concept of what is normal the fat b***h in class who claimed she could run a 4 minute mile that type of laughably out of this world exaggeration.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      Of all the stories that never happened this didnt hallen the most, not only did this not happen but this undid things that did happen, sorry tomboy gf bro that didnt happen now thanks to this simpleminded homosexual.

  64. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Ive had an incident like that too

    >dating gf from Alabama
    >went to high school together and we stayed together through community college
    >things getting serious so we go to visit her family
    >dad does the same thing, tries to mean mug me
    >sits me down to give the speech, pulls out a revolver and cleans it
    >see its a taurus
    >start laughing and say its a shit quality revolver
    >dad gets pissed and tells me im no good for his daughter
    >laugh at him some more
    >daughter comes in to the room and tries to calm him down
    >guy gets so worked up he has a mini stroke
    >call ambulance
    >paramedics and fire department arrive, along with a nearby deputy
    >all went to high school with us
    >asked what happened
    >told them he showed me his shitty taurus revolver as a threat
    >we all start laughing
    >a week later gf tells me its not going to work out
    >says the incident has her reevaluating our relationship
    >mfw all i think of is a woman leaving me after being dad talked to by some homosexual with a taurus
    >

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      Checked. Boomers will either buy the most overly expensive classic guns or the cheapest possible newage shit. And both act like they are peak gun owners.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      not a real story

  65. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    My gf's dad shook my hand really firmly and loudly and seriously just stated his name when he met me. Gf and her mom started laughing their asses off immediately and later told her I seem like a great dude. I must be a very disarming person despite the fact I'm always armed

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      Nah, you just come off as a stand-up guy.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      I have a slightly inverse problem, although I 100% do it to myself. I'm a metal head, so I tend to listen to more aggressive music than what's considered normal for my circle and I wear a lot of black. I'm a pretty alright guy once people get to know me, but they're first assumption is that I'm a devil worshipper (which is bullshit since I mainly listen to Impending Doom)

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        Who asked for your life story u colossal fricking gayot.
        Go slit your wrists.

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          Uh oh, watch out guys we got an edgelord inbound

          • 1 year ago
            Anonymous

            If I could order a tactical hug in the mail I'd do it in a heartbeat

  66. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    >>as he's sitting down he pulls out a gun and sets it down facing me
    >>'tism activates, think he's inviting me to do the same
    my gun on coffee table too

    pretty based

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      "I thought this was the You Lackin' challenge!"

  67. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Boomers lost like 100 billion collective IQ points from lead. Thats why they can be like hostile reactive text AIs because they don't realize the threats they put out but overreact to any equal response

  68. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    >place my gun on coffee table too
    >"What're you trying to say there, boy?"
    >"I haven't even spoken yet though"
    >"You calling me a liar?"
    >"What?"
    Extremely chad move OP

  69. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    > Be me.
    > High school.
    > Only one in friend group who can drive.
    > Girlfriend's friend gets a boyfriend.
    > GF's friend wants to go on date with BF. Can't because they don't have car.
    > GF convinces me to take GFfriend and GFfriendBF with us on our next date as double date.
    > thethingsidoforpussy.png
    > Have to spend entire time with two other frickers making out in back seat of car while I have to drive.
    > Movie and bowling was fun, though.

    > End of night.
    > Looking forward to ditching the other two and spending some "quality time" with GF.
    > GF: "Anon, I live a couple blocks away, but GFfriend lives across town. Can you drop me off first, then drop off GFfriend?"
    > nopussytonight.png
    > Drop off GF first, then GFfriendBF.
    > Those two frickers make out in my back seat the whole time.
    > In foul mood, blueballs.
    > Still walk GFfriend to house like gentleman, my mama raised me right.

    > Open front door.
    > GFfriendDad is sitting in the living room with a fricking table full of guns.
    > Looks up at me with manic grin. His face falls.
    > "Oh, uh. . . hi, anon. GFfriendBF here?"
    > "No. I dropped him off already."
    > "Oh."
    > Long pause.
    > GFfriendDad: "I'm uh. Going hunting tomorrow. Just getting my guns cleaned."
    > Sure you were.
    > Say goodbye to GFfriend, go back to car.

    > Realize I'm not the only one who got blueballed that night.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      Good read

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      only believable story in the whole thread

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        Felt bad for the guy. He'd been looking forward to giving his daughter's suitor the shovel speech since she was out of diapers, and got wienerblocked by GF.

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          did you ever folow up with him to see if he met the dad eventually? lol

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      should have hung out and talked about guns

  70. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    >>as he's sitting down he pulls out a gun and sets it down facing me
    >>'tism activates, think he's inviting me to do the same
    kek

  71. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    im fricking crying

  72. 1 year ago
    Anonymous
  73. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    Fricking kek
    The 'threaten your daughter's dates' thing is extremely cringe
    It's an easy way to have a daughter end up the exact opposite of what you want and ruin all chances of finding a decent partner

  74. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    >He draws on his GFs father

    Gotta let him know your quick off the draw

  75. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    >when the Sims glitch out a bit

  76. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    >be me, ausgay
    >date nerdy cosplay girl I met at the ice rink
    >her dad tries to do this but with a compound bow on the wall
    >tfw am firearms owner being threatened by a middle aged man with a low draw weight cuck bow
    Nerdy cosplay girl was fun tho, for a while.

  77. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    >place my gun on coffee table too
    >"What're you trying to say there, boy?"
    >"I haven't even spoken yet though"
    >"You calling me a liar?"
    >"What?"
    Lmao, you managed to counter his threats with complete indifference without even realizing it.

  78. 1 year ago
    stoner

    >be me
    >at comunity college
    >start dating cute tism girl in my history class
    >we hit it off, she even goes on PrepHole and /x/
    >start dating, she says i must meet parents if were to date. No hook ups she wants something serious
    >come over, parents are 70s era hippie/punks. Good people
    >continue dating and coming over for family diner
    >become friends with dad cause hes cool
    >we like cars and guns, but he finnesed dissability via “depresion” so he can get neet bux
    >mentions this barred him from getting guns
    >red alert alarm bells, tism triggerd
    > i think to my self “theres no gun in the house my girl and her family is not protected”
    >go out and buy a 10/22 and an ar 80% lower
    >give him the 10/22 and ar lower explain my concern, hes on board
    >he milled out the ar and started practing with the 10/22, kept it by his bed until he put togsther a polymer 80
    >we broke up but still friends with her and their family

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      >openly admitting to a felony
      I get your reasoning and I support it, but because of how the law is I wouldn't talk about it even though it is anonymously.

  79. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    this kind of boomer "hurt my daughter and I'll murder you" shit is here in bongland too even without guns.

    >Met my gf's extended family for the first time
    >when I'm introduced to her uncle he says "ahh, so this is the one I have to mash up if he goes wrong"
    >mfw I've boxed amateur for 15 years
    >was a 4 year infantry ZOGbot by that point
    >getting threatened by a fat wheezing retiree

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      bongland eh? what regt?

  80. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    >"What're you trying to say there, boy?"
    >"I haven't even spoken yet though"
    >"You calling me a liar?"
    >"What?"

    i had this music playing in my head : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xFjpTF4-PgI

  81. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    >as he's sitting down he pulls out a gun and sets it down facing me
    >'tism activates, think he's inviting me to do the same
    >place my gun on coffee table too
    OBJECTIVELY the most based way to respond to someone setting a gun down on the table
    good work anon

  82. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    First time

    >At friends apartment at college.
    >Just bought my first pistol from a gun show (I was 18)
    >Drinking with friends
    >Show them my new Jericho
    >Try to manually dewiener
    >Thumb slips on hammer, ND into celling Upstairs neighbors too high and drunk (underage and illegal drugs) to call the police.

    Second time

    >At range
    >Showing friend pistol
    >Think gun is unloaded
    >Point at ground show him how to wrack and pull the trigger.
    >Forgot loaded mag in
    >Shoot between his feet

    Third time

    >At parents house.
    >Just bought a sig from a guy
    >Get home
    >Try swapping slides with another sig I had
    >Forgot the other sig slide was chambered.
    >Pull trigger
    >Shoot parents wall

    Fourth time

    >At my new house
    >Playing with a friend's 5.56 AK
    >Release bolt
    >Slam fires round into ground

    Fifth time

    >Showing a friend how to use it
    >No idea how but a round got chambered
    >Show him how the trigger works
    >Pull trigger
    >Shoots round into floor in the same place as before

    Sixth time

    >Thought maybe the house was haunted
    >Grab a sig
    >Physically clear it, (racked the slide 3 times) with no magazine in pull trigger at the same hole
    >Round goes off

    Seventh time

    >Friend brings over a used
    >Glock wants me to look over it
    >I grab it and pull the trigger without clearing it
    >Didn't even realize the thing was loaded.

    Eighth time

    >Friend brings over his transferable Mac 10
    >I had no idea how open bolt guns worked.
    >He's showing it off to me I put a loaded mag it and decided to try and release the bolt (I thought it shot from a closed bolt)
    >Pulled the trigger for some reason
    >Shot 3 rounds into my wall

    Overall you shouldn't feel too bad about NDs. It's part of owning guns, and you should get used to them.

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      anon, alongside joggers, you shouldnt own a gun. im surprised you havent clipped anyone.

      >openly admitting to a felony
      I get your reasoning and I support it, but because of how the law is I wouldn't talk about it even though it is anonymously.

      free men dont ask

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        >free men dont ask
        Sure but there's a difference between drilling a third hole and telling people about it. Again I agree with your reasoning as to why you gave him a firearm but self-incriminating yourself doesnt make you a "free man", it makes you a dumbass.

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous

        it's a copypasta
        all the stories are real but they didn't happen to the same guy

        • 1 year ago
          Anonymous

          shhhh don't let the newbie know
          that being said the extended version of this pasta is up to 41 NDs rn, I'd like someone on this board to ND again and post it so I can make it 42.

  83. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    >place my gun on coffee table too
    >"What're you trying to say there, boy?"
    >"I haven't even spoken yet though"
    >"You calling me a liar?"
    >"What?"
    Absolute nectar. I wish I could have witnessed this

  84. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    >go to dentist, head into back for my checkup and sit down
    >dentists assistant sits next to me
    >she tries to pass the time waiting for the dentist to come in by making small talk, asks about my plans for the weekend
    >tell her im going to a gun show, she makes a comment along the lines that she never has seen/held a gun
    >ask her if she wants to see mine
    >says sure and asks if its loaded
    >tell her it is but i can clear it
    >pull 92FS from holster, clear it and lock slide back
    >her eyes get huge, wont even touch it
    >reload and put pistol back in holster, dentist comes in not much later
    >dentists assistant wont make eye contact with me the rest of my visit
    >go back the following day to get a couple of cavities filled and see her, still wont make eye contact
    I think I scared her

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      Looks like she couldn't handle the anon style

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous
    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      You didn't just invite her to the range and you had to pull out a gun in the middle of her work place and ask her to hold it when her boss could have come in at any moment?

    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      >getting cavities filled
      >not asking her if she needs any cavities filled
      If she says no, you have a gun and she knows it.

      • 1 year ago
        Anonymous
    • 1 year ago
      Anonymous

      When a cute girl says she wants to see your gun you’re supposed to whip out your dick.

  85. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    >>'tism activates, think he's inviting me to do the same
    my gun on coffee table too
    >>"What're you trying to say there, boy?"
    >>"I haven't even spoken yet though"
    >>"You calling me a liar?"
    You unintentionally started to mog her dad when he tried to asserting his dominance

  86. 1 year ago
    Anonymous

    >>as he's sitting down he pulls out a gun and sets it down facing me
    >>'tism activates, think he's inviting me to do the same
    my gun on coffee table too
    >>"What're you trying to say there, boy?"
    >>"I haven't even spoken yet though"
    >>"You calling me a liar?"
    >>"What?"
    Even if this is fake that's a frickin funny

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