Does your country have mandatory military service? Tell some funny stories from conscription.

Does your country have mandatory military service?
Tell some funny stories from conscription.

  1. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Yes.
    >be me
    >18 years old, finished school recently and I need to show up on the nearest enlistment center
    >arrive there 0600 and I wait
    >full of morons, junks and other undesired "people"
    >there's only me and 2 other functional people waiting to be enlisted
    >captain and lieutenant responsible for the enlistment process begs for us to serve, they don't want to train future drug lords, they want real people
    >say no, wants to go to college (big mistake in my life)
    >get my documents and get relieved from military service
    Today I kinda regret this decision, but fuck serving with shit and retarded people ffs

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Brazil

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Really surprising about LatAm countries. I'd thought this might in some way result in a large military to combat the cartels. But does military get corrupted by those very cartels? I'm aware of SOF becoming bandits in Mex.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >But does military get corrupted by those very cartels?
        Absolutely but not all of them.

        Most of the time it's just guns/ammo/explosives being stolen from military barracks and being illegaly sold for drug dealers and other criminal paramilitary groups.

        But the worst problem is that there's no structure for military career anymore, they just get trained for 10 ~ 12 months with guns, guerrila tactics, high explosives handling and basic survival training in dangerous terrain and then get relieved from military service forever.

        Since most of them live in poor neighborhoods live favelas and such, they get co-opted into drug cartels and paramilitary groups to make a living again. In that sense, the army trained those people to become criminals.

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Sounds like the worst of both worlds - train them but then discard them.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        In Brazil, cartels have connection to leftist politicians and the supreme court
        For example, during the pandemic the military police was forbidden to do operations in the favelas

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          That’s fucking nuts

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          >In Brazil, cartels have connection to leftist politicians and the supreme court

          That’s fucking nuts

          Right-wing politicians too. Cops and ex-cops have their own gangs which start out as vigilante protection rackets before effectively becoming their own gangs.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Waaaa the other sides bad too don’t talk bad about the leftist communist politicians. < you commie gay

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            The only right wing politician in Brazil is Jair Bolsonaro

  2. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >"the health of our soldiers is important to us"
    >all the buildings are moldy
    >get pneumonia twice in a row

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      intti momentti

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Barracks at Bragg were notorious fir this and other problems. Everyone knew. They just didn't do anything about it. Except yell at soldiers to clean the mold off their asbestos popcorn ceiling.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        The Finnish garrison I served at years ago had a few buildings like that, with obvious mold issues. Some of them had been cleaned up and retrofitted with better ventilation, but not all of them.
        There were a few where you could take a couple of steps through the door and immediately feel the air growing heavier, like there just wasn't quite enough oxygen for breathing. It was probably just my lungs getting inflamed.
        Took a few years before I could breathe through my nose without allergy meds. Mold's no joke.

  3. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >No data on the czechs
    What did they mean by this?

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Don't know, but we don't have conscription here since 2005

  4. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Thailand doesn't really have mandatory service. it's either do training once a week in high school (the vast majority of people do this. Why wouldn't you?), or do the conscription lottery. Or do like I did and just stay over seas forever for higher education (I guess I could do it since I did have to worry about visas because dual citizenship). Or do like my dad and just bribe someone during the lottery.
    I still wonder what happened to that Anon with dual citizenship with some Scandinavian country. He was an officer in that military, but the Thai military still wanted him to go and do the conscription lottery.

  5. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >infrequent
    wth does that even mean

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Not frequently.
      No countries seem to have that one anyway, unless its just too close to the "NO" to see

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        chile has it

  6. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I got dispensed due to excess.
    There's too many people so despite it being conscription, they only get people that want to join.

  7. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >interchangeable shades of pink
    I'm not going to trust the data if the person presenting it is a moron

  8. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Mexicans get conscripted?
    Sounds like even worse time than the russian one.

  9. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >be me
    >18
    >gf convinces me to choose civil service so we can stay closer together
    I wish I chose the military service, even if it was retarded and 90% waking up early and running around for no reason.

  10. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Yes
    >be me
    >18 years old
    >go serve
    >be fat
    >be rich looking
    >be white
    >be dispensed

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      many such cases

  11. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    What idiot chose these colors?

  12. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >be me
    >23, temporary exemption due to higher education
    >deployed in northern cyprus
    >regularly break into the UN zone to collect oranges
    That was pretty much the only interesting thing we did there. Otherwise it was the most mundane few months of my life packed with a bunch of rural retards that didn't know how to use a fucking toilet. I was forced to teach some of them.

  13. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    yeah
    the only fun you have is the dumb shit you do
    we committed mutiny and got away with it once
    no i won’t go into details

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      oh something i will go into details
      we were stationed on a border with a country that is considered hostile
      wasn’t me but for sake of simplicity i’m writing it in first person
      >go on guard duty on the border
      >see an enemy solider over the border
      >flip him off
      >he sees that
      >takes his phone out and takes a picture
      >fast forward a week
      >get court martial’d for inciting a diplomatic incident
      >the fucked snitched to the UN

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >>flip him off
        wasn't you but would you do that?

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          yes

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        what a bitch

  14. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >US is "de jure"
    yeah considering the last time the draft was invoked was 50 years ago I'm gonna go ahead and say no

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      That sentiment is exactly what "de jure" means, you retard.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >US is "de jure"
        yeah considering the last time the draft was invoked was 50 years ago I'm gonna go ahead and say no

        I'd point out mandatory military service doesn't mean a draft. It would be something like conscription regardless of war or peace. The U.S. has never had anything like that.

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          >It would be something like conscription regardless of war or peace. The U.S. has never had anything like that.

          That's not true. Until the draft was eliminated in the 80's there was still conscription between the wars. It just slows down significantly.

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          My grandfather was drafted during peacetime in the 50s. It happened, not frequently though!

  15. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Got my ballsack twisted by 60 IQ subhumans

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      many such cases

  16. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Shouldn't Germany be De Jure too? They didn't technically abolish conscription.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Yeah it should but I guess the map is quite iffy. Currently it's suspended for germans during peace times but still active during wars or times of increases military tensions, it still can be simply reactivated.

  17. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    that map is completely fucked

  18. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >Czech republic
    >no data
    >it takes 5 seconds to google that mandatory conscription ended in 2004
    wew

  19. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >be me
    >virgin 19yo rifleman hitching home on 7 day pass
    >terrified of girls
    >47yo Afrikaner cougar picks me up at the ride safe sign in the middle of the Karoo
    >takes me home and bangs me for entire afternoon
    >steal her panties from laundry to use for jerkoffs
    >have inspection at base and found with 3 pairs of dirty pink panties in my trommel (footlocker)
    t. saffer oldfag

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      h- hot

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      hot

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Are there many Afrikaner cougars still on the prowl?
      Asking for a friend.

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