Dear Americans. Please fucking explain yourselves. What the fuck is this thing and why is it off the coast of my country?

Dear Americans

Please fucking explain yourselves. What the fuck is this thing and why is it off the coast of my country?

Oblique references to a 90's movie featuring Kevin Costner is not a fucking answer.

  1. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    It's where we store all the eggs. It's time for your meal

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      I dont buy it. There arent any Marines anywhere near us. There is no need to send eggs.

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >There arent any Marines anywhere near us
        Not yet

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Marines don't eat eggs. They eat crayons. That's why America needs so much oil, to make the crayons because they're afraid of hungry marines.

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          what happens when the marines go home?

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            they eat the semen green berrets left on their wife's pussy

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Wrong

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          you HAVE to eat all the eggs
          you HAVE to fire all the AT4s

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Anon...
          https://www.marinecorpstimes.com/news/your-marine-corps/2022/08/22/marines-sailors-ate-all-of-greek-towns-eggs-meat-on-port-visit/

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            >Marines and sailors visiting the northeastern military port city of Alexandroupoli, Greece, put their appetites to work this past May, as reported by the outlet Greek Reporter in July and later by Task & Purpose, overwhelming local business owners.

            >“Yesterday, 1,500 people had breakfast in Alexandroupolis and ate eggs, sausages and bacon,” said restaurant owner Giorgos Alavantas, according to Greek City Times. “Yesterday, 6,000–7,000 eggs were needed. In other words, we don’t have eggs.”

            >Another restaurant owner, Vassilis Siklafidis, told the outlet, “They have gone crazy. They keep telling us that they haven’t eaten nicer meat.”
            Greece owes me some reparations after all the damages that've just been caused to my sides

  2. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Picking up your mom.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      If thats the case, I hope you haven't sent anyone you want back.

  3. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Why wouldn't it be off the coast of your country? If you knew what they knew maybe you would be too ever think of that?

  4. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Looks like an Egyptian spy ship to me.

    t. Israeli

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Quick question,
      Let's say I was to attack a ship at sea. What are the tactical advantages of arming unmarked airplanes with napalm? Hypothetically, of course.

  5. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    It's seeking peace and then keeping it. There is nothing for you to worry about anon. They're only interested in peace. There must be some peace around and they're gonna be all over that. It's fine.

  6. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >There arent any Marines anywhere near us
    Nowhere on Earth is more than 4 hours away from the US Marines storming your beach. Even if you're landlocked.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >Nowhere on Earth is more than 4 hours away from the US Marines storming your beach.
      >We have no beach
      >The seebeas make a beach, which is then stormed
      >Within 4 hours

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        US amphibious landing in Inner Mongolia incoming.

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Look, they'll find a river, lake, or overly large puddle if they have to. Traditions must be upheld.

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          >he doesn't know about the 53rd Mechanized Beach Brigade
          when needed the beach is always brought with them

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      storm my beach bitch, ill give you 5 hours

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >no stormin yo mama joke yet
      dead board

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        storm ya mudda

  7. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I don't believe you're in the Congo.

  8. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Serious answer: those things are cheapie ships meant to support civilian missions (humanitarian relief etc) and do low intensity stuff, help vs piracy or specops, clear mines, all sorts of random tasks that the Navy doesn't want to devote an expensive high value ship for amphibious war or surface combat to. They could just be training or passing through or doing a bunch of small jobs but it's not a sign of something major, quite the opposite. They're evolutions of expedition transfer docks literally based on oil tanker hulls.

    You'd know shit had actually hit the fan if it was an actual amphibious assault ship like a Wasp-class, which other countries consider to be actual aircraft carriers.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      these are an evolution of the Sea Control Ship concept right?

      Basically a not-carrier for stuff like escorting.
      The other thing that came out from the concept I think would be the Amphibious Assault Ships.

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        No, a modern version of the sea control ship would probably be something closer to the USS America (i.e. Amphib with no well deck). These are for really low intensity areas (and they can't launch F-35Bs because of the forward hangar). You're not controlling the sea with one of these against any kind of real military opponent.

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          So it's more of a branch off of the concept
          "Sea control ship but cheaper and for purely logistics"

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          >and they can't launch F-35Bs because of the forward hangar
          They can't launch F-35Bs because the deck isn't rated for the heat that would be exhausted from the STOVL exhaust.

          If you didn't give a shit about the deck long term I'm sure you could land an F-35B and take off (though with a limited load compared to a normal carrier or amphib ship) Especially if you take off at a diagonal across the main deck (avoiding the hanger). You get less distance, but I think it'd work out if you really wanted to.

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            There's nothing wrong with VTOing an F35B, just you'd get maybe 2-300nm combat radius out of it which isn't too terrible

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Sea Control Ship refers to light carriers, preferably in the 10-20,000T range, built in large numbers. Basically, a modern equivalent to the CVE of WWII fame.
        https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sea_Control_Ship

        The USN has been looking at SCS designs off and on for literally 50 years (and before then, it had a whole bunch of refitted ~30,000T Essex-class carriers that could perform the role). However, SCS just doesn't mesh well with USN requirements; the optimal number of aircraft on a carrier is ~90, not 10-20. SCS can be in more places at once for the same amount of money, but they can't come anywhere close to the same firepower/sortie rate for the same money.

        ESB is a different concept: the "sea base". This is an even more nebulous concept than the SCS designs, and it has varied over time as different technologies and budget environments have come about. There was a big push for the idea back in the '90s, when nobody knew where the next war would be, but everybody assumed that it would be Saddam-II (not necessarily Iraq, but someone who had learned from Saddam's mistakes). Thus, lots of crazy ideas were floated about to try and improve upon the several months that Desert Shield had needed to get forces into theater (not to mention the friendly ports and airfields and other infrastructure).

        Here are a couple things that came out of that time period:
        https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mobile_offshore_base
        https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boeing_Pelican
        Also, the US Army's FCS program was a result of the same issues. There were even crazier ideas, like large, fast airships with global range, capable of carrying whole companies of motorized infantry.

        Of course, none of that stuff made it into service, and most of it never even left the drawing board. Cheaper solutions had to be found, and your visitor happens to be one of them: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Expeditionary_Transfer_Dock

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      so they're just odd-jobs ships? seems reasonable

  9. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Is the US so powerful that even them sending their J team amphibs off the coast is enough to throw irrelevant shitholes into a panic?

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      It's just a fun little thread about anon waking up and seeing a big ship outside his window and wondering wtf it's doing there. Looks like they're just trying to help/assist the local government w/support. No need to call him names.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      They're small only to the US. To everyone else that's a mechanized brigade+ of top shelf equipment and plenty of ammo just hanging over their head like the guillotine of God

  10. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >What the fuck is this thing
    It's a boat.
    >and why is it off the coast of my country?
    It sailed there lol.

  11. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    It's the ice cream barge. In two weeks you will have your first western transgender and a proper McDonald's in your capital.

  12. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    MGSV home base but mobile

  13. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Implying I could find your shithole country on a map.

    t. American

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      It's kinda wild how every time the Japanese poke fun at Americans they just love it instead.

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        I think it's because it's mostly good natured ribbing. The Japanese are massive ameriboos, plus we're easy to make fun of, can take a joke and like to make fun of ourselves too. Anytime I need a spirit boost on a long road trip I stop into a Flying J or a Love's truckstop and walk through the store to remind myself that people buy this stuff unironically. I love this country.

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          what are the chances that guy running to the restroom is going to shit spray the walls and bowl then come out like he dindu nuffin and buy a coffee and stale donut

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            99%
            >Former gas station employee
            I'd still like to know what that vile solid grey goop was that some girl vomited up enough of to completely fill a sink one night. It has haunted me for years.

            • 2 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              It's a cute thing. Come here psspsspss

              • 2 weeks ago
                Anonymous
        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          >good natured ribbing
          It's pretty easy to tell the difference between people who hate you trying to denigrate and devalue your contributions to the world to justify horrible acts against you, and some good old-fashioned shitposting.
          The irony being that most of the countries that promote the denigrating and dehumanizing are """US allies""" while most of the countries that do the shitposting are people we've invaded before.

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            So, you're saying we just need to invade them as well and they'll stick to the shitposting?

            • 2 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              God, I wish

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            While we may have fought and nuked the Japanese, we also spent a lot of time and money helping them fix everything after they surrendered, which is a good way to get people on your side

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Me on the left striding into the bathroom to drop the nastiest load you've ever seen, smelled or felt the metaphysical aura of in the Love's off the I-44 in Newcastle, Oklahoma

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Because the American caricature that they always use is usually a nicer depiction than if they were accurate

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Except Afghanistan

  14. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >What the fuck is this thing
    Logistics ship. Makes doing pretty much everything easier, really.
    >and why is it off the coast of my country?
    Logistics reasons. We've got our fingers in a lot of pies, after all. Which country is yours?

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >Which country is yours?
      >quads noted
      >No reply from third world gay

  15. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    it's a floating operations base, supporting either a squad at sea or a mainland FOB. Carries supplies and whatnot, has a couple of cargo copters etc etc

  16. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    You’re about to get a delivery of freedom anon…

  17. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I wouldn't worry about it.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Something about nodules?
      Yeah bro, it's just doing research and shit, I don't think it's a big deal.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      I hunt doves with a guy thet worked on this ship.
      Still can't imagine even trying to drill down 3+ miles deep, dealing with absurd pressures, to grab a submarine and try to retrieve it.

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        I'm reading The Taking of K-129 and it's hilarious.

        >Yeah, three of the [REDACTED] SOSUS piggyback missions detected this thing going down.
        >As you can see from the data, we get the first pop here, initial explosion.
        >But no second pop.
        >Meaning, this thing didn't explode when it hit crush depth.
        >Meaning, if we can find and get to this thing, we could have the greatest intel haul imaginable.
        >Yeah, we confirmed it with the USS Halibut, a spare(!) nuclear missile sub.
        >Huh? Oh yeah, we retrofitted that thing with the most powerful computer we could cram into it, and packed it to the gills with weaponised autists. Frankly, we've yet to find a limit on what this thing can do.

        Later, some of the finest minds of a generation work out how to get several thousand tons of steel, seawater, and communism out from under 3.6 (not great, not terrible) miles of water.
        In the open ocean.
        Without anyone noticing.

        The book goes into more detail, but "just deadlift it with a giant claw, LMAO" was one of the less wacky options.
        In a word, rockets.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      I don't know what manganese nodules have to do with anything

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      CIA boondoggle. Those dumbasses dropped the sub.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      i used to see that thing every morning when i drove to work back when it was moored in suisun bay

  18. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Poor man's helicopter carrier. It's basically a cargo ship with an exposed cargo/assorted crap deck near the water for easy access to the ocean, a flight deck on top with enough space for a bunch of helicopters, and a hangar for storing and maintaini those helicopters.
    They're big ships which can haul around a bunch of crap and can also use helicopters and smaller boats to transport that crap to nearby places where it's needed. Good for supporting special forces in the middle of bumfuck nowhere without devoting a real military asset to it. Quite cheap too compared to most military ships, especially given that they the displacement of an aircraft carrier when loaded.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      so like a floating FOB or something?

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Yes, but with less dedicated command/control infrastructure.

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          https://i.imgur.com/RuWWOju.jpg

          A bit? There aren't actually that many personnel on an ESB (~250) but in terms of being a big floating hub which is near the "action", yeah.
          "Action" being limited to shit like terrorists, pirates, humanitarian operations because these are slow, large, and mostly defenseless.
          These exist to keep actual carriers and amphibs from being wasted on that crap.

          In my head I was making a comparison of a FOB and a MOB, but understood that these ships are more for resupply more than having any troops and the like.
          Still though, thanks for the clarification.

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        A bit? There aren't actually that many personnel on an ESB (~250) but in terms of being a big floating hub which is near the "action", yeah.
        "Action" being limited to shit like terrorists, pirates, humanitarian operations because these are slow, large, and mostly defenseless.
        These exist to keep actual carriers and amphibs from being wasted on that crap.

  19. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Is where we store the Cock Unsucker

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      If America had the technology to unsuck a cock they'd have used it by now.

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        the bigger thing is that it's the fucking navy, there is no cock unsucker

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        We can't use it, it's way out in the ocean.

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        It’s a copy of the Cock Resucker that was found on the dark side of the moon

  20. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    They call me Ford Lincoln Mercury, on account of me wanting to drive cars. But I realize now that that's kid stuff. I wanna be a postman.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      I love The Postman. One of the all time so bad it'a good movies.

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        There's nothing bad about it. It's just an excellent movie. When I was 11, I rented it on VHS... Watched it back to back for four days straight and returned it late. It is my all time favorite movie and I can quote it near verbatim.

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          >It's just an excellent movie
          Anon...

          Watch it as an adult with the nostalgia goggles off. It's ridiculous. I love it too but a good movie it is not.

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            Some people genuinely don't know the difference between a good movie and a fun movie.

            there are plenty of bad movies that are fun and worth a watch. Many anons assume any movie worth a watch however is "good".

          • 2 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            I watch it all the time. You sound like a seditionist.

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Its Kino until the second half when it goes full Hokey

  21. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    The Ocean of the World belongs to Everyone and is Free to Sail for ALL. Don't like it, do something pussy.

  22. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I wouldn't worry about it.

  23. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I wouldn’t worry about it OP

  24. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    that's a specialist vessel, used by our Tier 1 guys. it's a staging ship

  25. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I wouldn't worry about it

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      this but unironically, they are ships without a mission and generally support low-intensity missions (like patrols)
      keep an eye out for cable snippers though

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >this but unironically, they are ships without a mission and generally support low-intensity missions (like patrols)
        I just realized how retarded this reads
        ESB ("Expeditionary Mobile Base") = MLP ("Mobile Landing Platform") = ESD ("Expeditionary Transfer Dock"), don't question the gap between the acronyms and the actual names, it's dumber than you think
        They are ships without a mission because they were built for no particular reason. The goal was to have older logistics vessels obsolesce while ESD supported amphibious assault forces, but ESD are neither large enough nor capable enough to serve this role, so some of the vessels were repurposed to act as hubs for counter-intelligence and anti-piracy operations. The picture you posted is an example.
        While hauling spooks sound spooky, it means that ESBs are operated mainly by civilians and that they have to do something in their down time.

        By ESB:
        >Puller (ESB-3)
        Outside Bahrain, has been for years. I'm guessing bullying Iranians and/or pirates lately. No sign of another stealth heli assassination or a suHispanicious outing.
        >Williams (ESB-4)
        Returning from reminding South Africa that no country is too far South for the US to invade if they keep fucking around (also generally pretty popular in the region for pirate hunting)
        >Keith (ESB-5)
        Just chilling in the Philippines for various photo ops following Balikatan.
        >Canley (ESB-6)
        Not underway yet, just got named in June.

        Nothing too exciting, yeah.

  26. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    we sent men to the moon aint gotta explain shit

  27. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >No reference

    Too late!

    https://getyarn.io/yarn-clip/184a388d-6952-4250-b11f-61992d6bf4b6

  28. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I wouldn't worry about it.

  29. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Oh hey, one of the NIOC-C guys I worked with went to one of these. Guess they need CTT's

  30. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Better question, what the fuck are you doing the Congo that makes you so concerned about a United States FOB ship?

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Probably involves raping children

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        I would think they would send a congressional delegation to that, rather than a FOB ship.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      He might be Phillipino or from one of the Gulf countries if the previous anon's post about their location can be trusted.

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >trusted
        all of them have transponders on, you can just look them up on MarineTraffic

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Yes, but this is PrepHole and there are no consequences for being wrong, so I'm going to lazily accept what someone compiled for me at face value since they all seem believable.

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        If he's from the Philippines why would even care? Like 70% of that country wishes we still owned the place.

  31. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Sea base. Here it is.
    https://www.navyrecognition.com/index.php/news/defence-news/2020/august/8845-operational-deployment-for-new-us-navy-sea-basing-ships-uss-hershel-woody-williams-esb-4.html

  32. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    To be perfectly honest, I don't know. I don't know why we even has these pieces of shit when they seem to just be less capable LSDs. I guess they're cheaper.

  33. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Its a standard icecream production ship for a carrier fleet, don't worry it's not heavily armed

  34. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Don't worry, freedom will soon come to you and your community.

  35. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >Oblique references to a 90's movie featuring Kevin Costner is not a fucking answer.
    That ship is your The Bodyguard starring Whitney Houston

  36. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Floating CIA prison.

  37. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Don't worry about him.

  38. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    USS Kearsarge was docked in my countries capital but way off in the industrial part so you couldn't really see it

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