dear PrepHole,
i have decided to utilize various methods of home defense in order to ensure my well being, and I've outlined a few options for you all to evaluate, given the weapon-based nature of some of these options. if there's room for improvement please let me know.
>no Lube tub
0/10
>he doesn’t have a moat
NGMI
have a 5.56 ar-15 out in the open loaded with 300blk
Ah, I see, while this is an admirable effort to modernise your approach it is still plainly clear you are a 1000 year old demltich trying to apply old fashioned dungeon defence methods to your home thinking people will still be hiring bands of 3 to 6 adventurers to try and thwart you.
What you should actually do is fall back on old methods and, in fact, put a bunch of puzzle traps, goblin ambushes and boobytraps in a maze of stone corridors. Most home invaders and even government agents will forgo bringing lengths of rope and 12 foot poles in favour of coming equipped for conventional medium to close range ballistic weapon encounters. SWAT teams are not mentally prepared to try and solve context based riddles while the room slowly begins to fill with sand, though you may need to invest in a dragon or some modern missile countermeasures in order to prevent them from simply blowing your whole dungeon up.
It's a good start, Anon. Not as good as the Anti-ATF Fun House, but still pretty good.
Before you get any where near that level of fun in your house, the entry team calls in the other guys.
>implying there ever was an entry team
That’s one of the gayer ranch style house plans I’ve seen. Why would you want a double door in the master bedroom?
Master's door and lady's door. Is this your first house bro?
>Floor plan is a quadrilateral
>No bastions OR caponiers
Nice dead zones. LOL. Enjoy not being able to catch sapping teams in enfilade. LMAO.
>if there's room for improvement please let me know.
Is this a suicide plan? I mean, do you intend to actually live in that house?
you can't go wrong with some good old fashioned trapdoors and spike pits
Chance of accidentally poisoning yourself: 60%
Chance of blowing yourself up: 35%
Chance of automated turret killing the trained iguana: 98%
Chance of breaking a limb if you go to the bathroom at night: 15%
Your plan is solid.
60x40
I hope you get yours rich fag.
Why is the master bedroom so small compared to the kid's/guest bedrooms? 2/10 shithole would not buy
why not get those door opening/closing jingles they have in stores?
install them on every door
change the pitch and sound for the each door opening and closing and memorize each door jingle,so you know which door has been open indicating if the intruders are inside the room
>c4 in the washer/dryer
So… is it like remotely detonated or do you explode every time you want to wash your clothes?
Build your house underground, the above bait house should be like a roach motel that generates HD snuff films to help fund it. The funnier the death the better. Home Alone, but... well I guess just Home Alone. People die when you do that shit to em irl.
>no cum pit
What do you think he mixes the thermite with, anon?
Do Americans really just walk right from outside into the living room? Where's the vestibule where you can leave the door open and not worry about the hot/cold coming? And take off shoes and coatas?
Cover your living room in vantablack paint, hang dragon dildos from the ceiling (enough to easily block vision), leave buckets of feces mixed with vegetable oil lying around, always wear breakaway clothing. When your house is attacked, kill the lights, spill the buckets, roll around for a bit, and get to operating,
picrel is OP
Why is the master so small
Why do they insist on attaching the walk in closet to the matter bathroom
Is the iguana gigantic or does it just have a very large pen?
Why not just trained iguanas in every room? simplify your logistics.