Chaplains

What do they do?

  1. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    i wouldnt worry about it

  2. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Probably touch kids

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      He isn't a SFC, Mr. Projection.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Nah, that's the Sgt. Major's job.

  3. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Diminish the warrior spirit of actual fighting men

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      wow you're a homosexual

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Please remind me, mister atheist viegin sir, cause I forgot - what religion practiced those people who like, conquered the entire world?
      And how well are their atheist grand grand children doing now?

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        I don't think Tengri has many chaplains these days Anon.

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          >chinksect working with israelites to debase the white west.
          Wow how fucking surprising almost like it never ends

  4. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Isn't the enlisted corp E5-and-above life a bunch of wifeswapping with fat chicks and child abuse? If it is, the chaplain doesn't do much of anything.

    https://download.militaryonesource.mil/12038/MOS/Reports/FINAL-DoD-FAP-Report-FY2022.pdf

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      but my chaps comes to the motor pool and brings us donuts 🙁

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      "Pay grades E-4 through E-6 had the highest percentage of active duty12 parent abusers in
      met criteria child abuse and neglect incidents (67 percent); however, these pay grades had
      the second highest rate of active duty parent abusers at 5.7 per 1,000 active duty parents
      when compared to the military population. Pay grades E-1 through E-3 had the highest
      rate at 15.5 per 1,000 active duty parents in the military population."

      who thought an E-1 to E-3 parent was a good idea in the first place?

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        every unit has a private that already has a gaggle of kids, they typically aren't the sharpest crayons in the box and it's readily apparent that they're usually just desperate for any kind of steady paycheck (and AER loans their awful credit ratings could never get as a civilian)

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          tbh though, for the average borderline retard struggling to support multiple kids, joining the military is probably the smartest decision they can make

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          tbh though, for the average borderline retard struggling to support multiple kids, joining the military is probably the smartest decision they can make

          How the fuck did you guys know Stevenson? that retard always calling his wife in iraq and immediately getting into a yelling match because they cant hear each other.
          ITS CALLED A DELAY DUMBASS WAIT 5 SECONDS.
          and your fatass wife trying to send literal birthday cakes across continents, and whats with the weird drawer full of happy meal toys. also good job running over your own kevlar, fucking stevenson

  5. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    hunt vampires, ghosts, ect

  6. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    They report back to the company commander anything you say under religious protection immediately absolutely butt fucking you much like they also do to children.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      This anon was gay raped. Made him the sailor he is today.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Shipmate!
        Wanna trade undies?

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Correct. The church was intel before intel

  7. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Wololo

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      AEEYEYOOOOO

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      AEEYEYOOOOO

      This.

      Gives a 20% Religious Fervor buff to nearby units, heals friendlies and can retrieve relics to generate gold.

      Don't forget converting enemies.

  8. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    [...]

    I fucking hate how we can't have a single thread on this board without /misc/naggers sperging out, and then you have the balls to claim you're being persecuted

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >implying

      the russian invasion of ukraine really destroyed this board

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        you must be new if you think this is a new phenomenon

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          you must be new if you think nothing has changed

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      have a nice day JIDF.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      its da jooz THOUGH

  9. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    listen to 5'6 autistic cucks explain why they want to convert to islam so that they can have multiple wives (to presumably pimp them to other men) and assist said soldier getting those religious accommodations.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      I thought /misc/ hated the military?

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        he wasnt /misc/ he was actually white and just some incredibly poorly socialized nerd. actually probably a leftoid is his bisexuality is anything to go by.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        /K/ hates the military too. US military vets are the biggest cry baby welfare queens this country has ever seen.

  10. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    interrupt our life fire to ramble about the bible in the way that only a black southern baptist can.

  11. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Provide religious support, like giving last rites or hearing confessions on the battlefield; provide spiritual, emotional, and mental guidance to troops of their organization both on and off the battlefield; provide for the welfare and common dignity of their unit.
    In practice they're the go-to when a soldier needs to talk to someone but doesn't want records kept or anyone to be notified.

  12. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    try to convince doomers to not commit suicide

  13. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Gives a 20% Religious Fervor buff to nearby units, heals friendlies and can retrieve relics to generate gold.

  14. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Nothing, their just total outsiders and most soldiers tend to tread carefully around them.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Good, the last thing anyone needs is some dumb specialist getting comfortable around a colonel.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      The SAS weren't so smug when the Clinic got hold of 'em.

  15. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Confidential counseling that won't generate a report to your CO like a visit to a base metal health specialist will.

    Catch 22 though, you can get shit off your chest without affecting your career, but if it's serious shit then it won't make it to you DD214.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Ye
      >went to base mental health for suicidal ideation and extreme anxiety
      >told my CO everything
      >CO tells CMC
      >everyone in leadership position now uses that information against you
      Woweee targeted harassment is fun when you already think about killing yourself

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        homosexual lol was you unit le toxic?

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Yes, toxic, just working 90 hours a week with a newborn at home and not sleeping, permanent on duty status, and taking work calls 24 hours a day with zero resources.
          My story there was not unique, sadly.

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            >cranked out a kid as an E4
            >as a guy with mental illness in his genetic makeup
            >whoa, what do you mean that was bad idea

            • 4 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              E-6 but go ahead and dilate homosexual ;3

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        homosexual lol was you unit le toxic?

        not that anon but I got kicked out of the Army for talking to the Padre
        >signed a contract for Infantry
        >tore ACL in training and got fucked over and forced to change jobs with 10 other people due to the training base being over capacity
        >multiple people discharged from the army rather than take a random other job, some people signed contracts and got given shit jobs like cook and admin clerk
        >I asked for an appointment with a legal officer to stop my infantry contract from being torn up
        >chain of command made my life hell because of it - room inspections every hour, friday-sunday guard duty every weekend
        >spoke to Padre about it and how I was getting fucked over and targeted
        >chain of command found out because someone saw me go there
        >chain of command or a psychological assessment claiming that I'm suicidal
        >ordered to see Army psych
        >psych asks me why I'm there and I say I don't know
        >psych tells me that my coc said I'm suicidal and accuses me of denying it
        >writes a report recommending my immediate termination due to inability to adapt to military life
        >put on suicide watch while my possessions are packed up (half of them got stolen)
        >out of the army in 2 weeks
        >unable to ever re-enlist
        Australian Army in 2014 but yeah, never speak to a Padre under any circumstances

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          your padre didn't say shit though, someone saw you go and told you CoC

          • 4 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            That doesn't sound like the chaplains fault, sounds more like the psych being a cuck with no integrity and not doing their job.

            >proceeds to write a story about how the chaplain had nothing to do with the issue

            Chaplain said he'd "have a word with the OC" and that's when shit rolled downhill with the force of a thousand suns

            knowing Aussies, you are probably a massive fucking poofta and you got hazed right the fuck out

            Fuck right off.
            I had a solid case with the legal officer who was 100% prepared to fight for me to keep my contract because I was medically downgraded.
            I had a torn ACL and was on crutches and he only said the case was lost because I started getting "infringed" every single day for bullshit reasons
            >having dust on the inside of the smoke alarm attached to the ceiling
            >having oil/grease from the hinges in a cupboard
            >medication without a prescription ( it was an over the counter topical NSAID gel)
            >failure to meet timings like being on the other side of the base in 10 minutes (I was on crutches)
            I literally had room inspections by the duty staff every single hour of the weekend from 0600hrs to 2200hrs and got shat on by every single staff member who ever came across me who taunted me by telling me to go crying to the padre again

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          That doesn't sound like the chaplains fault, sounds more like the psych being a cuck with no integrity and not doing their job.

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          >proceeds to write a story about how the chaplain had nothing to do with the issue

        • 4 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          knowing Aussies, you are probably a massive fucking poofta and you got hazed right the fuck out

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      "All secure" foundation does the same with coaches from what I've heard. Created by a former delta and his wife.

  16. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    They give peace of mind to the terrified, traumatized or unsure soldiers in times of pain, fear and suffering.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      i cannot imagine a chaplain coming on like a breach operation or some shit in 2023

      i guess sometimes they hop on a bird to take pictures at a raid or something but only against defenseless goat fuckers

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        That was actually a big thing with the Marines in WW2. Chesty was getting letters from Protestant moms bitching that their sons were going to Catholic mass. He told em the Catholics were sending priests who were energetic go-getters while the protestant chaplains were all old sadsacks who wouldn’t go where the marines went.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        My experience has been that if a chaplain has previously been in as an enlisted and only got out to become ordained, he's gonna be a lot more likely to want to be right in the shit with the troops. Also I found it depended a lot on if they're attitude was clergy first-military second or military first-clergy second, with the latter being the based ones.

  17. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    They are basically the units guidance counselor. Soldiers go to them with whatever they are pissed off about or feel sad about and the Chaplain gives them words of encouragement.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      shit now I wish I had gone that route given I'm everybody's fucking guidance counselor

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Go get your degree and theology and get ordained by a religion as priest.

  18. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Give out crackers and juice to hungry soldiers.

  19. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    They snitch on you to your CO and God.

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >t. E-3 who said he'd go in the forever box if he didn't get off CQ that weekend

  20. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Had a korean chaplain that was turbo based and got a fuck massive budget to take us to trips to seoul and busan.

  21. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Ideally: Absolve you of the sins one might accumulate in war, perform final rites, instill courage in the troops & incite fear in the enemy, and hint to the commander that God might work in mysterious ways should he keep pushing the troops too hard.
    Your experience may vary though.
    Some are true believers, others are cowards, like all men.

  22. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    To encourage good Christian men to die for Freemasons and israeli bankers

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Look out there's a israelite right behind you!

  23. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >What do they do?
    They bring me candy when I'm on shift in the guard tower, ask me how I'm doing, and then leave when they see the 37 cigarette butts I've arranged into a pair of tits to jerk off to.

  24. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Making sure you fullfil the emperor's will.

  25. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    They yell at me and say I'll go to hell if I think about Chemosh and that I'll go to SUPER HELL if I masturbate in the port-o-potty

  26. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    The same thing a rifleman does while also doing chaplain duties such as prayer and such.

  27. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I liked my chaplains, they’d bring us hot soup in the field and sometimes they’d set up a couple grills and feed us hot dogs on the drop zone after we stowed all our parachute shit

  28. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    If he's Catholic or Orthodox (though Orthodox chaplains are about as rare as unicorn crap), he's a good man that dedicated his life to God and serving his nation. You can go to him for guidance both spiritual and practical. If anything he's taken a pretty decent pay cut/lifestyle change to be in the military instead of serving a parish elsewhere.

    Anybody else could also be like the above, but they could also just as easily be shitbirds looking for a free ride. I specifically mentioned Catholics and Orthodox because these two require you to become a fully ordained priest to serve as a chaplain. This is a process that takes years and costs tens of thousands of dollars for all of the required classes. There is no other religion that has a set requirement, you just have to have a degree in theology/divinity or a "closely related" field of study. Hell, I can buy the required degree right now for $2000 because the government is terrified of getting sued by degree mills for "infringing on their religious education".

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      There's a Greek Orthodox chaplain at Beale AFB. I talked to him once and he showed me pictures of his home winery and recommended some brands of alcohol to try at the class six, so he seemed like a pretty cool guy

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Lol I only met one Greek Orthodox chaplain and it was cause I was on a funeral detail for a few months. He was the most Anglo looking guy ever, no beard even. It was so funny to see him in the whole getup

  29. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    They Chaple

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Why do they call it chaplain if you chapel IN bad thoughts but out not DO the thoughts?

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        >Why do they call it chaplain if you chapel IN bad thoughts but out not DO the thoughts?

        Someone's having a stroke, but I'm not entirely sure if it's me or you.

      • 4 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Seems like the “bad thoughts” already got to you

  30. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >that perfect colour palette match
    Multicam is so good bros. Will anything best it?

    • 4 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >Will anything best it?
      Multicam, but digital, will make it harder for the robots to see us.

  31. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >Walk around asking how everyone is doing.
    >Give a quick pep talk at the mopo on Monday morning
    >The really good ones will actually help when you need "volunteers" to do some shitty manual labor task
    >Some also have snacks in their office at the BN or chapel

  32. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    My dad was chaplain in the Canadian military for almost 20 years. A big part of what he did was along the lines of "oh your husband, Sgt McDentHead got his head partially crushed on a training exercise in another province and is in a coma? I'll get you some accomodations nearby the hospital so you can be with him and I'll provide counselling services, and maybe also the funeral if he dies" or alternatively "mcpl bloggins, your dad died and you want compassionate leave to attend his funeral but your leadership are being dicks about it? I'll get it for you and also maybe tell them to fuck off".

  33. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Holy Damage, Resist, Unit Healing and Conversion.

  34. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    bufs morale
    @
    listen to sad stories
    @
    die with others (sometimes)

  35. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    try to ease your anxiety before something big and when your hurt badly/dying

  36. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    https://genius.com/Eric-burdon-and-the-animals-sky-pilot-lyrics

  37. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Just a reminder that Poland was the only Warsaw Pact military to have a chaplain corps.

  38. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >Meet with Padre
    >Hey holmes, how are things between you and the big man, eh?
    >No so good, ese..

  39. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Heal your soul and your boipucci

  40. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    They keep you from losing your mind.

  41. 4 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I dunno, talk about Jesus and stuff.

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