Anyone here actually been in a self defense shooting? No larping please.

Anyone here actually been in a self defense shooting? No larping please. I was and while I have no regrets about it, I keep having times where I feel something knawing at my gut, especially when I'm in public. It's not anxiety, its like a burning feeling and all my muscles feel ridiculously tense. I know some fags out there are going to shit on me, that's ok. If I can get one legit reply, that's cool. It's starting to get tough to deal with and I figure at least a few kommandos would know whats going on.

pic unrelated

  1. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I repaired the plane that dropped the bombs that killed the kids to defend are freedumbs. Hardly the same thing but it still bothers me.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Fuck them kids. Stop being a crybaby POG, that’s why you never got to do cool shit like war crimes on Afghan children and mass rape

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      You sound like a fag and a Hispanic because of your ESL.

  2. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    can you explain your experience in detail?

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Checked.
      The gist of it was a few months ago I was riding with a friend and we stopped at a gas station. As soon as we parked some dude started walking towards us and I didn't think much of it since panhandlers are everywhere here. Just as my friend stepped out the guy drew a gun and started yelling, moved my friend to the back of the car screaming about how he'd kill him, and as soon as they went to the drivers side rear of the car I quickly opened my door, took two steps back and stood up and shot the guy. More than anything I will always be relieved that my friend didn't get shot. That's basically it. There's no heroic shit, it was pretty cut and dry but it keeps rattling around in my head months on and I feel like I should be over it by now.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        did he died

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        so you were outside while the guy was inside the car with your buddy?

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          No. I was in the passenger seat when my buddy stepped out and the dude pulled a gun.

          I have had some bad times both with that kind of thing and war zones and now just rarely leave the house. It gets worse as you get older. The good news is you do not miss people at all.

          Well shit. I'm moving to a smaller town soon so maybe that'd be a good fit for me. I've been reading that this is "hypervigilance" but that sounds pretty dramatic. Why do you think it gets worse as you get older?

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            right, got it
            did you had any issues with your hearing? Must have been loud as fuck shooting from inside the car
            also, good job

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Hey man. Shit happens. Through fate or chance you three wound up together and it really was never in your control until you drew down on your robber. The good news is you were a good shot and we aren't having threads about the video of you and your failed draw from the gas station camera feeds.
        Feel proud of yourself for protecting the life of your friend. Chances are the man could've done that to somebody else and those people might've died.
        Just take care of yourself in whatever way you see fit and you'll be okay. You seem like you have a good head on your shoulders.

        • 3 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Thank you friend and I do appreciate your kindness but I'm not questioning my actions, I'm just trying to figure out how to deal. I'm trying hard to just suck it up, but I keep finding myself in situations where I'm basically aching physically and I have no idea what to do about it.

          right, got it
          did you had any issues with your hearing? Must have been loud as fuck shooting from inside the car
          also, good job

          I was outside the car when I fired but I literally didn't hear anything except a very dull thump, it was literally quieter than when I'm on the range and use plugs and muffs.

          • 3 weeks ago
            Anonymous

            >I'm just trying to figure out how to deal. I'm trying hard to just suck it up, but I keep finding myself in situations where I'm basically aching physically and I have no idea what to do about it
            No one ever likes to hear this advice, but you need to talk to a therapist. No one is ever going to blame you for saving the life of not only yourself, but your friend as well, but that doesn't mean you're exempt from the stress that such a situation put on your mind. Talking to a professional will help you deal with that stress and lead you towards a life where you don't have to "just suck it up" anymore.

            • 3 weeks ago
              Anonymous

              This.
              Your symptoms sound like PTSD even if they might not be full blown PTSD. Chances are a therapist can help.

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                >I'm just trying to figure out how to deal. I'm trying hard to just suck it up, but I keep finding myself in situations where I'm basically aching physically and I have no idea what to do about it
                No one ever likes to hear this advice, but you need to talk to a therapist. No one is ever going to blame you for saving the life of not only yourself, but your friend as well, but that doesn't mean you're exempt from the stress that such a situation put on your mind. Talking to a professional will help you deal with that stress and lead you towards a life where you don't have to "just suck it up" anymore.

                Ok thanks. I don't know about PTSD, I've read about it and I know you don't have to be blown up in Iraq to get it, but I just feel like a giant gay even thinking about it, as if my situation is anything like a real war, not that I've been in one. I feel kinda disgusted and like a larper. I want to talk to people about this IRL but I don't even know how to find them

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                >I just feel like a giant gay even thinking about it, as if my situation is anything like a real war
                PTSD isn't exclusive to wars, anon. It can happen even from a traffic accident. It's not anyone's fault, it's just a result of how your brain wires itself to deal with sudden stress. Your regular doctor or any place you can get medical care from can link you up with a therapist. I'm not sure how exactly it'll work with whatever specific situation you have, but getting lined up with someone experienced with PTSD might be easier than you expect if you explain your issues properly.

                You did a very brave thing, you deserve to live a full, normal life without your brain's fucked up stress receptors haunting you about it. Please seek help wherever you can find it, don't let any preconceived notions about mental care stop you from getting the help you need to deal with this issue.

              • 3 weeks ago
                Anonymous

                It's normal to feel like you haven't properly "earned" the trauma, but even singular events of sufficient stress are enough to cause lasting mental scars.
                I don't really know how to say this without sounding a bit dickish, but dude you shot somebody, how the hell have you convinced yourself "no biggie lol"?
                Try to find a professional to talk to, that anxiety you aren't feeling is actually anxiety. I remember saying the same shit to myself when I had my first episode after my traumatic experience, I just felt "funny " like a feeling I never had before and just went and rode it out in the break room. Turns out if you keep ignoring it it gets worse, see a doctor and avoid the experience of breaking down into tears and trying to hide so people don't see you.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Ask Jesus for forgiveness and you will feel better. I'm not joking, do the whole shebang and go through the motions of atonement. It's theraputic. You realize how common it was to kill other people back in the day and feel guilt, the system is there for a purpose.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        what was the legal experience like?

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Try EMDR, you clearly need help getting over it. It's okay anon.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Dude, you had to kill a man. That sholdn't come easy and you shouldn't "just get over it". It's going to be hard. Maybe it's PTSD? So maybe talk to a therapist. If you don't like that idea then talk to a priest, seriously. I'm an atheist but I'd totally confide in a priest. Media focus on kiddy diddlers aside, all the priests I've ever met have been decent human beings who's focus in life is on helping other people. They're there for you and they care, even if they don't know you and have never met you before that day. You're reaching out to strangers on the internet so you're definately concerned that this is something you're not going to handle by yourself. Guess what? You don't have to. Find a therapist, talk to a priest, it'll help. Don't know where to start? Google "find a therapist"; or maybe contact your local police department. They almost certainly have somebody for when their officers have to deal with the psychological fallout of shooting somebody.
        You've got a good head on your shoulders and you want to help yourself. You're gonna be okay. It'll take work, but you'll be okay.

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        Probably PTSD no meme
        Totally normal you confronted your mortality you know that guy could have easily gotten closer, drawn and just blown you away before you even knew what was happening.
        Was it a black agressor?

  3. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Ya dude what do you want to know?

  4. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I took a self defense shit once does that count?

  5. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I have had some bad times both with that kind of thing and war zones and now just rarely leave the house. It gets worse as you get older. The good news is you do not miss people at all.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >you don’t miss people at all
      Agreed. Moved to the woods, never looked back. Only time I go to my home city is for work and it’s a hour and a half drive every day, and I’m never not CCing

  6. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    nicest guy in the world I worked with at a gun store was a younger excop (30's)
    he had to kill a guy about to stab his partner
    pretty gruesome neck shot
    fucked him up enough to quit the force
    he still trains a shit load though, pings at a 100 yds with iron sights on his staccato

  7. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >It's not anxiety
    Except it is. Talk to a professional about it. It was in self defense, so you did nothing wrong and have nothing to fear. If you're worried they'll throw you in the Looney bin and strip your guns from you, then save yourself atleast that anxiety and talk to a friend or family member. Or if you're religious, a priest or something. As much as people on here like to larp and act hard, killing someone is not an easy thing to do. Not unless you're a complete psychopath, which I can tell you're not based solely on how you're describing your feelings.

  8. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    You're just in shock, it's not like you wanted to kill the dude or went out of your way to kill him but it's pretty hard not to terminate someone when they get violent with the people you care about. It was either you or him or your friend and he got the shit end of the deal. Basically you shouldn't feel bad because he fucked around and found out.

  9. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I've personally killed 27 people in combat and I feel absolutely nothing. Sometimes I remember specific engagements of people I've killed, but never in the context of guilt. They chose to die the moment they decided to enter my grid square with a weapon, it was my pleasure to escort them to the other side.

    My hypothesis is you were raised to believe that killing is wrong and unnatural, yet you took it upon yourself to get a CC licence and carry a gun. You knew what you had to do to safeguard yourself and the people you love from evil, and you knew deep down that meant adopting the way of the sword. When presented with a threat you drew your firearm, pressed the trigger and extinguished the life of another human being and I'm going to take a wild guess that it happened in a matter of seconds and you didn't really think about it at all until it was over. Congratulations, you did exactly what you were trained to do.

    The problem you think you see is you awakened a different side of you that was dormant up until that point and it unnerves you to think that you were capable this whole time of such extreme violence. It shouldn't, it should empower you and you should embrace it. You are a killer and that's a good thing, it means you have been tested and you have not been found wanting. You are on the highest plane of existence.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Goood god, you sound like a massive gay

      • 3 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        t. Shlomo.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Now tip your fedora and sheath yer kitkatana and teleport behind me and suck out my hot moist shit drenched fart like a crawdad. Nothing personal kid. While you were learning the art of the blade I was fuckin ya mom. Peace.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      im trans btw if that matters

  10. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    A pigeon shit on my motorcycle and I shot it with my pellet gun.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      It was him or you, anon, you did the right thing

  11. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    A guy I went to school with had good results with DMT

  12. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Hey, might want to go talk to someone. A hotline, a therapist. Seems like post traumatic stress.

  13. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I killed a fella whilst wandering through the blood and the bones in Manhattan, during 9/11. I was trying to find my brother.

  14. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Three times, never had to shoot.
    time 2 : Uncle's new buddy is a meth addict. No upper teeth, released from prison for burglary. Uncle thinks he's doing us a favor by bring this guy over to change an oil pump. Turns out, he fluxated between $150, and $2000. Not a typo.
    A week passes, no contact. Knock at the door at 2pm, and he's there standing with a mini machete. I put a pistol in my pocket, open the door, and he's thumbing the edge. He wanted a grinder to cut teeth into it so he could cut grass. I say we have no grinder.

    Time 3 - Sister and BIL are splitting. He dragged her across state lines to Michigan to live in his mother's house rent free. They figure they can save money and build up some. Turns out his mother is a raging narcissist, demands sister stay in all day to care for dogs, screaming constantly. It's bullshit, and their marriage had been on the rocks for months. She calls home, crying, saying she needs t GTFO of dodge. She's done. Her credit is ruined because she co-signed for his car, now -repoed. I send her $200 by wire for gas to come back to Texas.
    I'm not an emotional person. She has bi-polar, and thought I was mad her over her dogs. She calls her husband, crying, and he races over, and bursts into the house, calling me a peice of shit, saying I secretly enjoy making her cry, etc. I was pissed, and had a knife due to cooking in the moment.
    If he would have tried at me, I would have cut him. I really do hate that fat Yankee bastard. Sister's credit probably won't ever recover from him. Turns out the Yankee was squirrelling money in secret, and he had $6K hit away. She worked all the time to pay rent. I had to pay for her truck once, and that was $400. I don't want it back, it's just frustrating to be out $800 over time, and then get called a peice of shit by a fat loser.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Deadbeat partners of loved ones are the worst. I could go on and on about this piece of shit chug that my sister dated for a few years, but I never ended up shooting or stabbing him so it's irrelevant. I did punch him in the face on a few occasions, though. That was cathartic.

      Hang in there, brother.

    • 3 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Have you considered trying not to be poor white trash?

  15. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    I have shot and killed a bottle of milk in self defense before.

  16. 3 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Never a shooting, but I've come out and yelled at people to fuck off in my old yard with my shotgun in hand. They always complied, no shooting or pointing needed.

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