Ancient indian warfare

Ancient india (vedic and epic era) had the most kino and most retarded army of all time

>tens of thousands of giant gucci'd out war elephants being ridden as mobile fortresses

>giant obscenely lavish 4 or 6 horse armored chariots driven by aryan aristocrats getting 100-1 kill ratios against dravidian peasant foot soldiers

>cavarly seen as useless, noble warrior caste thought riding one measly horse was for poorfags. Only ever used horsemen as unarmored skirmeshers and occaisonal light lancers

>infantry basically just there to grease the wheels of chariots and to give the elephants something nice and squishy to trample, the infantry basically did nothing but die and carry baggage for the elephant and chariot riding nobles

>super honorable warrior culture that puts chivalry and bushido to shame. Ambush seen as cowardly, battles take place in mutually agreeable locations and times, no aristocrat prisoners or civilians ever killed, war seen as a polite sport.

>most autistic pre gunpowder hand held weapons of all time like the urumi whip sword, 7 foot tall bamboo bows, ridicolous broadswords and greatswords like something out of a shitty anime, not to mention completely usless shit like giant clubs made to bonk elephants to death
What went so wrong and so right?

  1. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    Why the fuck is India so full of SOUL yet so absolutely chaotically messy and cool.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      because frankly anon, "India" as it exists today is what you'd get if you mashed all the countries in urope together into one polity in the 1700s, I.E. a fucking mess. The whole place should genuinely be 6-7 countries

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        I remember reading a book set about 200 years ago in india or so. There were central asian merchants (uzbek?), buddhists from tibet, hindus, christians, arab merchants and muslims involved. Sounds like a very diverse subcontinent.

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          >Sounds like a very diverse subcontinent.
          Yes that is why it is a chaotic mess, weak and divided. With the occasional ethnic purge here and there if the curry gets too Hispanicy.

          India, like Russian now and China in the future, is just a hot mess waiting to implode as they are trying to forcefully weld together radically different subgroups into one made up identity.

        • 2 weeks ago
          Anonymous

          Was it Kim? Because that book is absolute top tier

  2. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous
    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Improvements needed:
      1. More singing/dancing, preferebly about a boy and a girl falling in love against the wishes of their parents and caste.
      2. Less gritty realism grounded in history, more epic fantasy.

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        I present you with Baahubali 2. Both movies had lots of nice songs.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      The assault lawnmover at 14:00 is priceless.

  3. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    serious question. why do indians smell like a mix of cumin and bad diarrhea? god must hate them. i mean they already look so ugly but then they also smell so bad

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      diet composed of fenugreek and shitty sweat genetics

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      I'm pretty sure it's only the expats, I visited the middle of fucking nowhere in Gujarat for work, and maybe it was the fact that everywhere else smelt worse, but the people smelt fine, also everyone had amazing hair despite the fact they lived in absolute squalor. India is a great place to visit so long as you avoid most tourist areas, had a great time, kind people, fucking mad drivers tho.

  4. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >all this heroic noble shit but also
    >nuclear weapons

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brahmastra

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      >nuclear weapons
      any bomb ,if big enough, can make a mushroom cloud

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        The brahamastra is a literal nuke, nothing grows where it strikes.

  5. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >believing all this happened
    Ancient armys had like 100 people at best

  6. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    To think that the Indians developed mass cloning technology only to use it to make tens of thousands of the same dude solely to wage circus clown level warfare.

  7. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >Ancient india (vedic and epic era) had the most kino and most retarded army of all time

    Dont forget literal gods fighting on the battle field. Indra and the Maruts (storm gods) against the Vtra. Unfortunate humans that were too close got turned to ash. I imagine god to god fights looking like some kind of horisontal chain lightning of impossible brightness.

  8. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >vedic and epic era
    The made up and myth era you mean. Indian nationalism has rotted your brain.

    • 2 weeks ago
      Anonymous

      Yeah but when it comes to ancient mythology, India is batshit insane. Everyone bangs on about Norse and Greek mythologies when most other mythologies around the world are way more fun and entertaining.

      • 2 weeks ago
        Anonymous

        The point isn't how entertaining it is. People are attracted to Greek mythology because of how true it is. They speak to people beyond the basic level of being "fun". Though they are that too.

  9. 2 weeks ago
    Anonymous

    >vedic
    >indian
    pick one

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